I think that I should hold on, hold on

This parenting gig is rough.

I won't lie.

Two kids threw me for a loop. Well, really, as Jerry Seinfeld described, anytime 2 people enter a room and 3 come out it's already gotten crazy. So, we've been working to adjust to our new normal which is just part of the process of adding a new member to the family Thankfully it's been so much smoother than those first few months with Zoey.

However, lately I've just felt like the day to day is such a struggle. Zoey has fully embraced all the independent, assertiveness and emotion that comes along with being a toddler (read: terrible two's) and I haven't been coping well.

Sometimes, friends or family praise Zoey for things such as her sleeping habits. And though each kid comes with a personality that make certain parts of parenting easier or harder... I've always patted myself on the back for doing my research, understanding my kid and taking the necessary steps to help her be the best little sleeper she can be. In fact, sometimes I get a little annoyed when people say she is just naturally a great sleeper.

Of course the flip side to that coin... is that I should also take responsibility for those habits that still need hammering out: screaming, crying, kicking, demanding things, picky eating, talking back, not listening. 

And as I've hung my head in desperation night after night, and handed her off to Cary before I let the very mean mom under the surface blow... I think I'm finally realizing it comes down to that last trait: not listening.

I'm not listening. 

It's hard to be 2. Emotions are hard things to deal with (most adults are still figuring out how). It's hard to have a taste of independence and not be able to control very much of your day to day. It's hard to have a mom all to yourself and then share her with a baby that needs more attention and time.

So I'm reading and studying and trying to be better. I'm trying to listen. I'm trying to help her listen (which is comical. I swear she's 2 going on 16.), and I'm so happy to say the last couple days have gone worlds better. Meltdowns are few and farther between, and though I love my baby girl to pieces I think we're learning to like each other again! 

Now, hopefully that I've recorded my shortcomings and with a little help from above--I will remember these lessons in a year and a half for Tucker (fingers crossed).