so, so what?

I've been exercising like crazy, and trying to eat healthy, but lack of results is making me want a Mt Dew real bad...

At church, I was talking to a friend about babies and such and we started reminiscing about the horrors of pregnancy, which lead me to look over the ol' blog at pregnancy posts... bahaha I was seriously huge! (I'm glad I can kind of laugh about it... while grimacing and perhaps holding back a few tears)

Anyhow, now 6 months postpartum, I'm happy to report I can pull my favorite jeans up! (Can't button them, and nevermind that I wore them til I was 6 months preggo...)

So to those friends who took a whooping 3 weeks to fit back into your jeans after delivering (yeah, you did post it on fb)--our friendship may have secretly suffered a lot while I searched within myself to not hate you for being beautiful--but, I'm over it and we can be real friends again because I TOO can wear non-elasticized pants!

I also thought I should admit on the blog, I gave up on the no sugar, but it was a great kick start to losing a little more weight, and I'm now eating the insanity meal plans... but I decided I didn't like being weird at social events because I wasn't eating sugar, so now I make exceptions and control my addiction!

Only 9 lbs to go and maybe those pants will zip!

I'm thinking perhaps I should become a star and go on dancing with the stars (although I've never seen that show), I keep hearing how fit people get dancing 8 hours a day.

I suppose you'd get fit doing anything 8 hours a day... yeah, and I'd rather swim or bike--if someone wants to lend me a bike with a kid seat on the back!

Ok, ok, ok enough rambling.

Just have a good time

Introducing:

Zoey Morgan Tippets


Haha I like making faces with her.

But this one is a little cuter.



Physical Stats on Zoey:
-Dark brown hair, and lots of it (stupid ultrasound tech didn't know anything)
-Dark blue eyes. They're gorgeous! (Although technically they could change by 6mos)
-Super long finger and toes.
-Born at 8lb 1 oz. She's long and skinny... with her mom's chubby cheeks. She probably carries a whole pound in her cheeks alone.
-She has a puffy right eye. It's some extra blood vessels and they're blocking a tear duct. It makes her eye look a little uneven but we still love her and it'll go away!

Characteristics from Cary:
-Skinny limbs
-Chill personality
-Not a morning person! She gives me the dirtiest look when I wake her up and then tries to pretend she's still asleep.

Characteristics from Carla:
-chubby cheeks
-dark hair
-good at making faces... and she rolled her eyes today (that's right--starting early)


Anyhow, she's a pretty cool baby. I'm stoked she's mine and I never have to give her back to anyone after holding her :)

Feel the heartbeat in my mind

Day 12.

Despite my usual reservations, I might as well share some documentation--so you don't think I've faked this whole pregnancy, and everyone stops asking if my due date was calculated wrong (NO! Sorry, it's not that hard to figure out a due date, and don't try to cheat me out of 42 weeks... I'm mean that's almost a year!)




Ok, so I'm not very good at taking my own photo



Could my belly stick out any more?



Cary having fun shaving.



He's so weird :)

We also videotaped her moving in my stomach last night... but it's kinda creepy (read: looks like something out of alien) and i don't know how to cut it down to just the fun bits. I'll post if I figure it out, or have Cary help me later.

Ooh child, things are gonna get easier

I must admit, meltdowns aren't as few and far between as I'd like.

I'm frustrated with my body and the horrible stretch marks that continue to come out of nowhere and taunt me. I'm frustrated with the pain that never ends in a trip to the hospital. I'm annoyed with my less than tactful doctors who say all the wrong things. I'm jealous of all the friends on facebook whose bodies could figure out how to get a baby out and have cute little newborns. I'm annoyed with the constant advice to sleep now while I can--what in the world makes you think I'm sleeping? I go to bed at midnight only to wake up at 3 and flip seamlessly through channels til 6 am before I finally doze off only to get up 2 hours later for an 8 hour shift. And more than the advice, I'm especially tired of hearing "you're STILL pregnant!" Does it really warrant an "Obviously!" Thanks, you're not helping the situation.

oooohhh deep breaths

ok, sorry just thought maybe getting out of my head for a sec might help

Since 2005, I've always tried to dedicate November to the Attitude of Gratitude Challenge. Gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness in your life and a wonderful reminder of just how many blessings we have and that the Lord is looking out for us. So each day I list 3 unique items I am grateful for.... allow me to play catch up

November 1st
1. A baby that will soon be part of my family. Not everyone gets this blessing while on earth and despite complaints, I do realize how fortunate I am to soon have a little girl in my life.
2. Beautiful north carolina fall weather. 70 degrees with a cool breeze and fall leaves is enough to lift anyone out of a funk.
3. Ice cream

November 2nd
1. Comments at work that bring a smile--they are extremely rare these last few days of pregnancy. One lady said to me "You are all belly! Once that baby comes out you'll be right back to a flat stomach and my aren't we all going to hate you then!" Probably not true, but it was the perfect thing to say after hearing from every other customer how huge I am.
2. Heather bringing dinner over and chatting for a little while. The company was really good for me.
3. Modern Family. That show is hilarious, and I'm grateful to talented writers for sharing the laughs.

November 3rd
1. A Clean house. It puts my type A anxiety at peace :)
2. Warm showers. Really long one's. One of these days Cary will get to feel warm water again, but for now I'll take whatever therapy I can get!
3. My mom for her care and concern and delicious meals. Would I starve without her... no, but her food is a lot better than the toast and cereal I would have put together for dinner.

November 4th
1. I told Verizon no more! Oh how my body is grateful for this break.
2. I made a ginormous list of projects to keep myself busy this coming week, and I am already diving in!
3. Cary's love and support. He quits trying to cheer me up and lets me cry when I need to, and then turns around and makes me laugh to make it better. I don't know what I'd do without that boy--he just makes life better.

That for me, it isn't over

Still no baby.

Cary's friend's are all teasing him that she's already picked up the procrastination gene.

I wish I could totally blame him for that, but I'm not much better.

We had an ultrasound and baby is healthy. She supposedly weighs 8 lbs 2 oz, although the doc thinks she feels more like a 7 lb baby. She doesn't have hair :( And they won't induce me til 42 weeks unless something goes wrong.

I know it's just one more week, and in the grand scheme of things it won't matter. Heck maybe we'll have an 11/11/11 baby! ... but in my fragile emotional state, it was a big blow and I'll spend the rest of the day moping (mope-ing, not to be confused with mop-ing, def none of that going on) and watching grey's anatomy.

Stay tuned... everyone keeps promising me that a baby will eventually show up!

Everyday I'm shuffling

Still no baby. (I'm sure that's obvious by a lack of cute baby pics--I post this merely to remind my child in 10 years how much she tortured her extremely impatient mother ;)

Anyhow, I'm ridiculously excited to go into labor and constantly wish for it! I think I'm the only person who is gonna be beside herself giddy when the excruciating pain finally sets in. I can't wait to have my body back! I know... it'll take some time, but labor is the first step and I am ready.

But... in the meantime, Cary entertains me with youtube clips. Here's two of my fav this week






haha poor dog...

I am days away from change

As I continue to anticipate my awaited baby's arrival (wait, she's still gonna arrive, right? just checking. I'm starting to have doubts ;) I digress), I often think back to previous moments in life and what I would have told myself.

I think back on college, dating, single life, pre-pregnancy life in general and laugh at my growing list of What I wish I had known's...

Then I saw this video and smiled, because I think we all occasionally wish we could tell our previous selves our current knowledge.

haha I especially liked "Google doesn't have children." So true.

I need you to hurry up now

I know you all wished you worked in retail. Verizon Wireless in particular.

And I know you all wish you were pregnant dealing with the public.

Because then you can be speechless when your customer says (and i quote) "you must be having a girl, you know how I know that.... your nose is fat."

Seriously?

Yup, it's rare for me to be speechless, but I was.

(I contemplated posting a pic, but her psychotic ramblings don't deserve that sort of justification)

Between my psycho customers who say whatever the crap they want to and people who think it's ok to merge onto the highway going 35 mph--I'm about to lose my mind.


To Baby: Kanye says this best

Now that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now

'cause I can't wait much longer

I let the day go by

Went to the doctor today. Baby is chunky and still in my belly.

Dr said "Well, there's a lot of women who never get any stretch marks.... that's certainly not you, is it."

Oh everytime I close my eyes

Emily just commented on her blog that she hasn't posted much because it didn't seem like the appropriate place for it. I suppose I've felt like that through most the pregnancy.

Yes, I'm still pregnant. Yes, I'd like to see baby girl in the outside world as much as everyone else... or perhaps 50 billion times more. I don't post much, because I'm an awfully pessimistic pregnant girl, and all my smiles, and fake positive attitude gets sucked up at work by random strangers.

For liz: I do get tired of talking about it all day, every woman telling me her labor story, and people commenting on how huge I am--but I deal with it pretty well.

Although I don't help myself out, by coming home and looking back at all my friends pregnant pictures and realizing that their belly reached maybe half the size mine has (yeah, yeah, all my weight gain is in my belly--imagine how much pain that equates to when your little parasite entertains herself by poking her foot as far out as your already stretched to the max skin can take. I'm convinced I'll give birth by her ripping my stomach open herself. I digress).

Anyhow, I wasn't gonna post about pregnancy. Sorry. I'll be happy to tell the world, when baby is finally born.


On to the meat of the post!

For young women's this week, one of the girls was teaching about standards and explaining Mormon standards. She was explaining the importance of not doing drugs, dressing modestly and ended with the fact that we don't encourage tattoos because we respect the bodies we have been given and that's what makes us awesome.

"After all" she says "You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a porsche, would you?"


(*Not to offend anyone with a tattoo, I just thought it was a clever way to explain our standards)

You turn me over and over

Well, the big day has come... and gone.

(That is, the day I had previously discussed with baby girl would be the right day for her to enter this beautiful sunny carolina home waiting for her (not my actual due date)).

I am not sure how this little misunderstanding is going to affect our relationship, but it currently is not shining favorably on our future mother-daughter bond.

Baby girl needs to hurry up and recognize I'm the stubborn one in this family, and I just want to share the baby one on one time with all the family anxiously awaiting her arrival!


P.S. current fav. song of the week: Matt Nathanson's "Faster"
It could just be b/c I'm preggo... but these lyrics sound like he's singing about his baby girl, it's cute.

"Faster"

You're so delicious
you're so soft
sweet on the tip of my tongue
you taste like sunlight
and strawberry bubble gum

you bite my lip
you spike my blood
you make my heart beat faster

own me, you own
you rattle my bones
you turn me over and over
'till I can't control myself
make me a liar
one big disaster
you make my heart beat faster

it's the way you swell, slow
pushing right out your seams
it's the way you smile, baby
when you've got me on my knees

your all night noise
your siren howl
you make my heart, beat, faster

own me, you own
you rattle my bones
you turn me over and over
'till I can't control myself
make me a liar
one big disaster
you make my heart beat faster

cause I jump back, crash, I crawl
I beg and steal, I follow you
yeah you own me
and you make my heart beat faster

(I can't get enough
because its on like
I guess this world is over to me)

you own me, you own
you rattle my bones
you turn me over and over
'till I can't control myself
make me a liar
one big disaster
you make my heart beat faster

The tourists come and stare at us

I'm starting to worry my baby is gonna come out orange and overly round...



Ready to pass the basketball... come on Cary it's your turn!



Dismiss the double chin (just bad angle), bad hair and complexion (it's 11 pm, long day at work and I'm pregnant people--give me a break!)

oh yes I did, yes I did

Soooo... I have opinions.

And sometimes I share those opinions. And then people think I'm an idiot.

Allow me to explain...

When people ask how I am doing (I'm 32 weeks and getting bigger almost daily), I generally say something along the lines of I don't love pregnancy and I can't wait to have my baby already.

Then people tell me to enjoy my pregnancy because babies are so much work, to which I respond,
"oh I'm excited for the baby, I could forgo the pregnancy all together"

This is usually followed by an eye roll and a "you'll see"

**Disclaimer: I realize I don't have children, and therefore do not understand. I realize that babysitting, or even watching kids for a weekend while parents are gone doesn't equate to the 24/7 responsibilities of parenting**

Yet, allow me to explain my thought process. Once baby is here I can sleep on my stomach! That means that those 2 hours in between feedings might actually include sleep instead of constant tossing and turning in an attempt to get comfortable.

Also, it is my first and only baby--so I'm still in the stage of life where I will be able to sleep when baby does--also leading me to think I might get more rest than I have had the past several months.

Finally, with pregnancy I can't just take off the belly and take a break when I just can't handle another minute (nope, that's usually when I start crying and try to hide it from Cary, because there's no definitive reason or solution to the crying). When baby comes, all of a sudden I can hand baby to Cary and say I need 5 minutes. When baby gets older, I can put them in the crib and lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes. I can take my mom up on her generous offers to babysit. What I'm getting at is that I can't wait to have my body back and in my current ignorant state I feel like I will be able to tackle much more when it's JUST me in my body again.


But, please feel free to share your eyerolls and "if only you knew" comments

You know what they say? Life ain't always easy

What a week....

We made it to North Carolina! Thank goodness my mom drove with us, otherwise it would have taken us all month!

Thursday, I spent all day in the hospital with Kidney stones (so they think... they can't actuallly test for this while I'm pregnant, nor can they treat it).

My family is amazing and moved all our stuff into our new apartment while I entertained the nurses at the hospital.

And now I'm lounging around at home because I'm extremely sore, tired, and the doctor has banished me to light activity. I've decided this doesn't jive with my personality, so I'm putting "the secret" into effect and sending subliminal messages to baby girl that she needs to be born in 7 weeks (as opposed to the full 10 left). I'll let you know how that goes.

Please tell me, what there is to complain about?

It's official. We've left P-town.

Cary says we're never coming back.

(But I've left and said that a few too many times, so I didn't get hung up on goodbye and said "see ya later" (Just in case... don't want to permanently jinx myself))

Soooo our journey across the country began yesterday.

We made it to Colorado Springs with the two cars!!!

I started to doubt whether I'd make it.

I have new found admiration for the pioneer women.

I just drove 10 hours while pregnant and was miserable,
I can't imagine walking 10 miles and birthing a baby in the plains

I've also decided they were insane.

So even though I'm laying on my side today recovering from my horrendous past two weeks...

as my current favorite song states

This could really be a good, good good life.

What am I gonna say

Do you ever have moments in your life where you pause and think, holy cow, how did I get here

I specifically remember, being about 20 and looking at the missionaries and thinking, WAIT A MINUTE, you guys were always so old and wise. Ha, now they look like little boys and I pray that they'll be able to handle all the challenges ahead of them.

Pregnancy is another one of those moments for me. I walk past a mirror and see my belly and think WHOA, hold the wagon! Since when am I old enough to be pregnant, and how can I maintain a semblance of my fashion and personality?

I must admit...

I am not one who loves my body pregnant.

I enjoy having a flat stomach and fitting into cute clothes.

I have a hard time not comparing myself to other preggo friends.

I generally don't care to post weekly updates on the growth of my belly.

I also am not sad that I don't have many pictures to document this period of my life.

However...

My family is so supportive, and has sent fun maternity clothes, and I think I owe them a fashion show. Also, in an effort to embrace my body exactly how it is and just be grateful for the strength of my body. Here's my update:

6 months ish

15 lbs gained

(if i continue at this rate, about 15 more expected)


(***Disclaimer: Cary is a terrible photographer apparently... I didn't realize it would be so difficult to zoom in or not chop off my legs, but i guess not :/ and I will post the pics anyhow)

This is the point at which I realize, how comical cary's photography skills are so I might as well have fun with it.

This shirt looks huge, but it's actually more flattering with the black shirt underneath because it's a sheer fabric.

oh baby, baby

The fans demand pictures... so even though I'm not a lover of the belly shot, here is my buddha belly for all to enjoy.

I apparently suck at taking my own photos... but I actually look really good in this one ;) Gotta love a dirty mirror

Cary says I'm not big. I say it's all a matter of angle.

Ba-da-da-dum. (This is also a more flattering pic, I'm not seriously gonna post my really huge pics)

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Soooo.... I may not be handling pregnancy as gracefully as I once hoped I would (read: people ask me how I'm feeling and I respond "HUGE" with a few tears in the corners of my eyes).

Honestly, I've been really lucky. I haven't been too sick, and I didn't really start showing til about week 16. And then it was just a little bump, easily mistaken for a big meal.

Well... I've popped. In the last two weeks I have grown more each day, outgrowing more and more outfits by the day. I attempt to keep my concerns about my appearance between Cary and my pile of discarded clothes on the bedroom floor, but I was so fortunate (sarcasm) to have my insecurities thrown in my face yesterday. An ob/gyn is talking to me and looks at my belly and says, "oh well, you're like 28 weeks, right? you're almost there."

..... long pause..... me: "No, I'm just huge, thanks."

Usually, when people ask if I'm preggo, I smile and say "oh no, I just ate a big lunch," then when the look of horror ensues, I tell them I'm joking and yeah I am preggo.

But this doctor practically said I'm almost two months fatter than I should be!

This just happened to come at the end of a week filled with several less than flattering comments... needless to say Cary has had his work cut out for him. Poor guy.

I'll eventually post pics of myself, but today I feel very much like this guy


Struggling to keep my shirt from curling up over my belly.

I blame magazines, for giving me the hope of looking as gorgeous as heidi...



This is her at 9 months. Yeah... some days I wish I was a 6 ft tall, drop dead gorgeous super model.

Instead, I more closely resemble...




Anyhow... don't worry too much about me. Just a bad day, and I keep a cute onesie taped to my mirror to remind myself of the end goal... a beautiful baby with cute little chubby legs and funny faces!

Just can't get enough

tehehe... check out this text convo btw my bestie jo and Cary.

Jo: Cary, I didn't even tell you congratulations!!! She is going to be one cute girl!


Cary: Thanks Jo! I sure think so, I'll have to restrain myself from soiling her :)

Jo: Hahaha please reread that text. And yes you will have to.


BAHAHAHAHA... oh cary, he should really proof read his texts before sending them (but at the same time, i haven't laughed that hard in a while).

***in case you missed it, he meant spoiling her***

Oh this has gotta be the good life

Sorry for the wait...