Once and for all there's a fire inside me that won't stop burning

Thank You Technology Super Geniuses who have blessed my life with the ipod and it's respective shuffle option.

After a gruelling swim practice this morning, I got in my car to face the snowy/slushy roads ahead and what came on my ipod, but..... drumroll please.... OPEN THE GATES AND SEIZE THE DAY! DON'T BE AFRAID AND DON'T DELAY. NOTHING CAN BREAK US NO ONE CAN MAKE US, GIVE OUR RIGHTS AWAY.... ARISE AND SEIZE THE DAY!

Now seriously what is more motivating than newsies at 8 am. So of course I listened to the whole soundtrack. I suppose some of my motivation could definitely be attributed to the weekend, but I'm ready. I'm ready to seize the day, and the week. Bring it on!



(The only negative in all of this, was the thought that perhaps when the ten year olds of today are my age, they will feel about High School Musical how I feel about Newsies. Sick. Seize the Day is ten times better than we're all in this together.)

One day I'll turn around and see your hand reach out.... I'm only fooling myself

Jo's friend wrote this paper for a feminist english professor. I don't necessarily agree with the whole paper, but I found it to be entertaining. So although it is long, when you have a moment it's worth the read.

TO BE FOOLED


Provo, Utah. I love it. That is, usually love it. Not today though. It’s one of those days, you know? One of those days where, you accidentally set your alarm to P.M. instead of A.M. Those days where you race to the bus stop and just as you arrive, the bus drives away without you. One of those days where, as you walk into class the teacher pauses, and stares you down. He just wants to let you know, that he knows, you are late. And as you finally take a seat in the middle of the row, where you had to climb over everyone and all their crap, you realize you left the assignment that was due on your desk at home. Yea, it’s one of those days.

Today is just not my day, and since it’s not my day, I am going to see to it that it is not anyone else’s day either. I do that, sweet, I know. I plan on slapping on one of those faces that says, “Are you serious right now?” the next time I see a painfully happy blond with her hair teased to high heavens. I plan on spitting out my gum on the sidewalk between the Wilkinson’s Center and the Library. I plan on “accidentally” tripping one of those guys who walks around with his blue tooth in his ear, like he’s so important. I will definitely try to walk right in between those overly comfortable couples who synchronize their steps and have their digits entwined. Honestly though, who can stand those people?

Why am I so bitter? Obviously I am having a crummy day, but what is it really? Boys. Yep, that’s it-- the root of all evil. Boys can bring out the best and the absolute worst in girls without even realizing it. Boys can make girls do the craziest things. I mean, they are the only reason we all wake up an hour earlier then necessary to blow dry, straighten, lift, trim, press, pluck, shave, wax, and steam ourselves into absolute discomfort. There is not a minute of any single day that passes without every single girl everywhere thinking about some boy. It’s true. A girl is not satisfied until the boy of her focus notices her. A girl’s day may be going grand: she may earn the high score on her exam, receive a raise at work, or finally complete a Rubik’s cube in less than three minutes. However, her day is leaps and bounds better when the boy who sits two seats in front of her and a row over turns around and comments on how her appearance looks very fetching that particular day. From that moment, on the list of the day’s events, the high score on the exam takes a back seat to the boy. Even though some boys may be too dense to realize it, a single girl’s world revolves around some boy, somewhere.

As a young lady in high school I can always remember my Mother telling me to hold out for college boys. Not the kind of normal college boys you may be thinking of, no, BYU college boys to be more specific. These boys were held to a higher standard in our household than normal boys. “BYU boys” are intelligent, honorable, well dressed, clean cut, respectful, handsome, put together, return missionaries, and ambitious. Basically, BYU boys were a dream.

It was the most disappointing day of my life when I realized that BYU boys are just that, a dream. I’ve been at BYU now for a little over two years and it has taken me about that long to admit to my self that BYU boys are just like all boys everywhere. My first two years here I spent dating a variety of boys and I just kept hoping that one of them would impress me. That one of them would prove me right, that there are a plethora of Prince Charmings in Provo, Utah. Sadly, this never happened. Needless to say, my dating life has been a stream of disappointments, but for some reason I have been choosing to keep my dreams alive. It wasn’t until this last semester that I realized that my expectations for BYU boys are completely unrealistic.

Let me prove my point. A few weeks ago I was out with a seemingly wonderful gentleman. He was an accomplished individual, with great taste and we instantly hit it off. I had previously decided not kiss him till at least our third date, with hopes that this would encourage a healthy relationship. Our first two outings were very enjoyable and I did kiss him on the third date. This is where things went terribly amuck. After our third date he announced that he had a fabulous time, but wanted to just be good friends. (Now I am confident that I am not a bad kisser, so lets just discredit this theory right now. I would be happy to provide a list of references if you need further proof.) What had just happened? What did I do wrong? I was full of questions and needed answers. Upon further questioning and probing, he admitted that he truly was all about the chase. It goes without saying that I was disappointed. I was not only disappointed that he did not want to pursue anything, I was frustrated that my whole “don’t-kiss- till-third-date” rule had completely failed in weeding out the jerks like it was intended to.

No guy is ever going to be perfect, he is never going to date me and only me, and like me immediately. No guy is going to bring me flowers on a first date, be a fabulous conversationalist, and continue to take me on regular dates-even after a few months. No guy is ever going to say all the right things or be all the right things. This just isn’t going to happen. As I stated before, the guys here are just like all guys everywhere. They will make a wonderful first impression, leaving you in the clouds, then drop off the face of the planet entirely. They play games and mess around, date you’re girlfriends behind your back. They are immature and self centered. They stop opening doors for you after the third date. They say all that you want to hear to make you feel that false connection, then never call again. Boys fake whatever they want, an image, a connection, an impression, till they get what they want. They use you.

So if I am so knowledgeable on the true nature of guys, why do I still permit myself to be fooled? That answers easy. I want to be fooled.

I want to believe that the perfect man is taking me on a date, that it is not all a facade. That he really does love being with me, that he really means it when he kisses me. I know I said that I’ve stopped dreaming this semester, but I lied. All girls dream. They dream that the ideal man is real, that he loves only them and that he is just waiting around the next corner. Wishful thinking.

So maybe it’s our fault. Maybe the perfect man for us does not really exist. We will eventually just find someone that puts on an act believable enough, and then spend the rest of our lives being too forgiving. He will hold the title of “Prince Charming” in our minds as we block out reality. It must be our fault.

It is our fault that we have grown up with Disney movies telling us that there is such thing as a Mr. Right, that dreams do come true. It is our fault that we have bought into all the mush, romance, and fictional dramas. It is our fault that we believe in fairytales. We hope and pray and wish these fantasies into our realities. All the while knowing, that these images of Princes and carriages are only fantasies, not real life occurrences. It is our fault that we are crushed after a painfully honest date. It is our fault that we are repeatedly broken hearted. A perfect man does not exist in any non-fiction realm.


I don’t want to believe that though. I want to believe that a real-live Mr. Wonderful is out there. One who says he loves me and truly means it. One who is perfect for me, and only me. I want to be fooled.

I ain't slept in 8 days, I can go for 8 weeks, ain't nothing to me...

So my lack of sleep is starting to become somewhat ridiculous. I'm exhausted, and I'm so excited to take a nap I planned one into my schedule! Unfortunately I don't have time until next Tuesday.

I know, I know. I chose to join the swimteam, so therefore I choose to get up at 5 am to go swimming. And, all of this means technically speaking the sleep deprivation is self-inflicted (which provides an interesting question as to whether self-inflicted v. torture device sleep deprivation ramifications are the same?)

Anywho, I digress, the point is.... it's sunday morning. I am up after a 3 hour nap (I hardly feel I can call 3 hours of sleep a night's rest) working on my lesson for Relief Society. It's SUPER exciting. (Dangit... sometimes I really do hate technology because my tone and sarcasm don't translate. What if in 60 years I've become some sort of spiritual giant who's abandoned sarcasm and then my grandchildren don't understand my journal entries when superimposing that personality onto the entries. Highly unlikely you say (the abandoning sarcasm, not my grandchildren lacking understanding) well, you're probably right, but what if?)

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I'm tired. And I'm teaching my relief society about dating today. Joy. But, as my name is Carla Morgan and I often spout the adage "All of life's lessons can be learned from the movies," what would a lesson be without a classic movie quote?

So as Hitch states

Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "Geez, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now,"

I believe you can be anything you want to be

I've been inspired by a post Oliver wrote a week or two ago.

For the past year, my facebook profile description has been this little bit:
I think honeysuckle is a rare delicacy. March Madness is my favorite season. I wear a pocket knife on my belt. I want a pet Jackalope, and in my mind I'm going to Carolina... if there's anything else you need to know, just ask.

Well, things change over a year. You lose your pocket knife (or refuse to clean out your closet) and you get really busy, quit watching NCAA basketball and feel like a poser calling yourself a diehard fan. So here's to the new (not necessarily improved) me.

Hi, my name is Carla. I was born in Gaithersburg, Maryland, left my heart in NC and am now currently struggling to accept that I am a Utah resident. I graduated from college in 6 semesters, which only proves that I have crazy drive when I want to get something done. I wash my dishes before I put them in the dishwasher, can cook up a storm that would make my momma proud and I sing when I get tired. I prefer manual cars, working out with the 60 plus crowd and I don't do pretty.

Despite all these, I have friends whom I cherish more than words can express. I believe Muhammad Ali said it best when he said "Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me

I've decided that what type of bread you use makes all the difference in french toast. I wish I had more time so that I could make all sorts of bread and experiment with french toast, because really... there's just nothing as comforting as some quality french toast.









(and yeah, the title doesn't apply... sorry)

I want to be your last first kiss

Sometimes I feel as though people just tell me things, whether I invite them to or not. I don't know if you would classify this as part of my personality (hi my name is carla, please tell me your problems...) or what, and despite the fact that sometimes I hear spectacularly inappropriate things, most the time I actually really enjoy hearing people's stories.


At the pool today, there was a lady who just started talking to me. She was probably between 250 and 300 lbs. and she told me how's she lost 160 lbs. She says she's still huge and has a long way to go (which she does), but honestly 160 lbs is a lot! I mean, Biggest Loser alot. It's practically 1 1/3 of me or 4/3 or if you don't do math it's ALOT.

Anyhow, her size and story about her weight loss really weren't what interested me. She started telling me about her perfect daughter. (Honestly, sometimes it's hard to take parents seriously, because they all think their child is perfect. Well, except for mine, who probably hang their head in shame when being forced to admit that I attended BYU and that I currently wait tables for a living (although, that should provide endless material for their BYU jokes)). Ahh I digress.

So the daughter moved to Michigan to attend law school. Her first day in Michigan the landlords are not home to give her a key to her apartment, so she starts knocking on doors to see if she can crash in anyone's apartment for a bit. She knocks on one guys door and he invites her in. (From his angle, he was smitten from the get go). Well, she starts dating said guys roommate and her and the guy just become best friends. Long story, short (although, i believe to make a long story short, you just shouldn't tell it, but....) She ends up breaking up with the roommate, and the following sunday this guy that she has become friends with is speaking in sacrament. He's giving his talk and starts discussing how "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass," things that could change the course of your life and perhaps even eternity. Then, from the pulpit, he asks her out, knowing that she had just broken up with her boyfriend and this was his shot. She says yes, blah blah blah, and now they're married. (The blah's are not comparable to Elaine's on seinfeld, these are mormons we're talking about).

Fascinating story. I think, deep down, there is this part of me that wants to be a hopeless romantic and swoon over perfect timing and the potential romantic comedy in that situation, but I can't help but wonder what I would have done had I been the girl.

Cynic that I am, I probably would have been a little creeped out.

And thus... I continue to be single.

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I went snow camping.








Ha, don't worry... my body was fine, my psyche... well we're all starting to wonder if it was ever fine.

Everybody dance now...

You know those moments in life where you just feel complete. Those fleeting moments when you have simple unadulterated joy.

(pause)

These are the moments in life we cherish, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to others. These are the summer afternoon bike rides that end at the top of the mountain with a pink/orange sunset, or an unexpected but long desired kiss while standing in the middle of a rainstorm... eew, no, that is way too reminiscent of the notebook, scratch that entire scene.

Ok, back to perfect moments. Key word being "moments." You know, when you open the mailbox and realize you have a letter. Or, when you hear your new favorite song on the radio that you've been waiting to hear (this was mostly pre-ipod days). Or, when your roommate brings you home a bottle of Martinelli's to celebrate that fact that you got a "C" on your Econ test this time!

So, no matter how absurd I sound, last night I had one of these moments. It was glorious. It was exhilarating. And it was... the resurrection of the one song dance party.

Last night, we decided it was time to bring back our long overdue fanatical dance hobby called the one song dance party. Instigated around last October, the one song dance party was Monday through Thursday at 10:15 pm, and it was exactly that, one song. It was perfect, just enough so you start to get pumped and it leaves you wanting more, but not too tired to make up excuses not to come.

When Rachel moved out, the sound system moved out with her and we were left with a lack of equipment to host the one song dance party. So last night we decided to host the party in the underground parking garage and hook up our cars to play the music. We went around to each apartment and personally invited everyone in the complex. It was amazing! Best turnout we have ever had! At least 40 people showed up and shook their booty to "Let's Get It Started" (black eyed peas) (appropriate as this is the start of something). Anyhow, I can't share the happiness that ensued and resonated with me clear through this afternoon.

And though plans are not definite for a repeat, let me know if you'd like to come and I will surely send you an invite.




this is becca at the dance party!... oh and the reason i don't usually add photos, mom, is because I'm too stupid to figure out how to turn them the right way

I know a place where we can hide out and turn our lives inside out

DINNER WITH THE MORGANS

Mom: So I haven't been able to find Kim's sheets since we got home, and I'm worried we left them at the beach house.

Daughters: Well, we have other sheets... or sheets are on sale at Target this week.

Mom: Yeah, but I'm just curious where I left them.

Daughters: We don't know.

Mom: Hmmm... I think I put them in the cooler. Carla, where's the cooler?

Carla: In Heather's trunk.

Emily: Great, now heather will be ready in the event she needs to dispose of a dead body.

Jamie: She shouldn't use the sheets, they'll stain if you wrap a body in them. She should use plastic, like a shower curtain.

Carla: No, she should definitely use sheets. They're biodegradable, leaving less chance of the body being recovered.

Emily: Well, if she had a little aluminum foil she could just make a bomb!

Mom: Add in some gum and she's MacGuyver.


*Can I just point out, that no one asked why the sheets were in the cooler?*

**And can I also point out that my family finds it perfectly normal to discuss how to dispose of random dead bodies during dinner, and the fact that my sister is unknowingly prepared for such an unlikely event is nothing but awesome to us**

This is the song that reminds me of my trucker hat

My googling powers have failed me.


I want this hat.





Oh and I do realize that it's probably illegal to post this picture without said subjects permission.... shhh don't tell, but please let me know if you can help with the hat search! Danke schon

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Sometimes, I'm kind of amazed at the things that make me happy and bring me joy, but you'll have to ask me more about.

So, occasionally I get down on myself for allowing myself to be a college graduate who waits tables as a living, but all in all, the lifestyle has some perks. Here's a list of my best 2008 moments to help remind myself.

-Disneyland! (Obviously this is first. My first trip to the happiest place on earth)
-California Adventure
-ESPN zone (my new favorite restaurant... of course only during Bball season)
-UNC Tarheels rocking season 07-08 and going to the final four
-UNC Tarheels having the potential for an even better season thus far in 2008-2009
-Climbing to the top of Mt. Timp
-Just jo and I in the apartment for the first couple months
-Midnight Bonfires on some mountain up provo canyon
-San Francisco
-Reno Rodeo (my first and probably last rodeo ;)
-Getting lost and driving around all of Lake Tahoe
-Chicago with my sisters
-Bongo Room in Chicago (best breakfast I've had in the U.S.)
-Seeing Shamu
-Four Wheeling all over the mountains in Idaho
-One song dance parties
-hot tub rendevous
-snowshoeing in cottonwood canyon
-riding a tandem bike
-amazing friends at work, and when they leave finding new friends that fit too
-Wicked!
-buckle jeans with jo
-a birthday without finals
-mac grill dinner parties (that would be the one's i threw, not other people's parties coming in to work)
-rock climbing adventures
-Rachel, Jo and I's grey's anatomy marathon on 2008! It was absurd and ridiculous, but once in a blue moon it's hilarious to spend an entire day watching tv
-Church Bingo
-Slurpees in the hot tub. Slurpees after football games. Slurpees.
-Trying 4 times to gas up Cassie's VW and finally giving her the keys
-Dancing around the apartment to "sexy can I", "forever", "bleeding love", "untouched", "out here grindin'", angry i hate boy music, and various other things
-So You Think You Can Dance and the associated parties
-7 Eleven hot chocolate runs


Ok, well that's all I could think of right now, but if I've forgotten major events be sure and let me know.

This is myself... under pressure

As fate will have it, after spending the past couple days shuttling friends to the airport to fly home for Christmas, I have no one to drive me to the airport.


I'm considering calling the provo police and seeing if they wouldn't mind dropping me off. I mean, my tax dollars should count for something, right? And cops should be all about helping and the christmas spirit, right?...


Or, I suppose here comes my first big hitchhiking adventure! Wish me luck :)

I'm going crazy from the moment...

My week slash month, and probably life.


So i was... blah blah blah... and then I got distracted.


(ooh shiny object)

All I want for Christmas...

Ha ha this video has brought me years of entertainment.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

In the morning at the table (milk and cereal milk and cereal)

So I have a problem.


I'm addicted to buying cereal.



Notice how I said "buying." Not necessarily eating. I mean I like cereal as much as the next person. I especially like honey bunches of oats as you can tell in the picture, but I don't eat cereal more than about 4 times a week for breakfast. I'm addicted to buying cereal. Seriously though, at a dollar a box, it's such a good deal. And hey, if Utah has a blizzard that leaves me trapped in my apartment for a month... I'm good to go.

Oh and I can't figure out how to turn the stupid picture, so just turn your computer sideways.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Ever since high school I've loved the idea of Black Friday. For those of you who have somehow missed the commercialization of Christmas in the past 20 years, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving and involves the best markdowns, bargains, and door buster sales of the year... all beginning around 4 or 5 am. It's insane, it's ridiculous... it's American.

For several years I have braved the bargain hungry crowds of Wal-Mart at 5 am just to get some semi-entertaining dvd's out of the 2 dollar bin. Am I really that desperate for some movies and is it really worth all the trouble to save a dollar or two? Heck no! For me it's about the excitement. It's the first initiation into the holiday season. It's like a spectator sport. Who's gonna get the tv's first? Who's gonna forget their kid in aisle 12 because they just had to get to the DVD player next (they spread everything into random aisles in an attempt to make it less chaotic)? Why is that 90 year old grandma up at 5 am to get the socks that are on sale? Doesn't she know nobody wants socks for Christmas and they'll still be there around noon (a more normal shopping hour).

Anyhow, I think I've described as best I can my need to get up at some awful hour of the morning (oh wait I normally get up at this time...) and go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. BUT, I'm sad to report that this year I didn't wake up. Whether it was sabotage by my alarm clock or the fates trying to save me from myself, I do not know. All I know is that I woke up at 9 am, and I will proceed to sink into my stupor of depression for the rest of the day.

And I don't even have any leftover pie to eat for breakfast.

Holidays as a single adult can really suck sometimes.

When it gets cold and it feels like...

I love the holidays.

Really, who doesn't though. Sure, there's the segment of the population who is in uproar over christmas music being played before Thanksgiving, and then there are those that wish to acceptably play their christmas music 300 days a year. There's the battle between eating all the delicious food and trying not to gain 15 pounds in a single week. There's the love you have for spending time with your family balanced with your need to get back to your own life. The holidays are a special time of year, and they come packed with memories.

Though I love the holidays, sometimes I think back through the memories and the people with whom I have shared past holidays and it makes me a little sad. I'm sad because I miss those that I have grown apart from and those that I'm literally far apart from. So, although I'm stoked for Thanksgiving and Christmas... there's those other feelings. And since I seem to be at a loss for words lately, I'll leave this one to Lifehouse...

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

And I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure

"Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely."

Sweet like a chica cherry cola

So it's kind of sad that it has taken me 4 years to come to the realization that Provo actually has some delicious dining options other than the standard national chain (not that I'm knocking the chain restaurant, because that's what pays my bills, but seriously... you can do so much better.)

Also, I suppose I shouldn't be too shocked that it's taken me 4 years to realize this, considering my dislike for eating out combined with the fact that it's rarely my idea and I just tag-a-long with friends who lack creativity or diversity in dining options.

Anyhow, some of my favorites include (I hope you realize that this is a purely selfish blog and not for your reading entertainment, but on the off chance that I need to resort to my blog as a journal of sorts, I can remember the few things I loved about Provo):

1. Cafe Rio, of course... no list of fav. restaurants in provo is complete without the Rio
2. Kneader's Bakery Cafe... although their sandwiches are delicious, $4.99 all you can eat french toast... need I say more
3. Hickory Kist... amazing sandwiches, rarely crowded
4. Sammy's... hole in the wall places are usually my favorites and the pie shakes have sold me for life
5. Zupas... anyplace that gives you a chocolate covered strawberry to end your meal is a winner in my book, oh and the salads are amazing

Oh, I could go on and on about the great Indian places, and Thai Restaurants, and even Tucanos (the meat lovers paradise) or the ridiculous amount of dessert (more recently yogurt) stops, but I will leave my list at 5. They are all delicious, cheap, and do not employ waiters. In one word, perfect!

So anyone feeling a pumpkin pie shake?

A thousand other boys could never reach you...

So Jo and I were complaining about the holidays today and how you have to spend them with all your happily married family, siblings, cousins, etc. Ugh. We decided since we are not part of a happy couple we don't want to have to spend the holidays with all the happy couples. So then I said "I just want to spend the holidays doing what I want to do while I'm still single!" And then after several seconds reflection I realized, hmmm that might be a while. I don't know what kind of crazy guy would marry me, to which Jo replied, "If I were a guy I'd marry you!" Ha ha, then we decided that we would be the coolest couple ever. We'd be that couple that everyone wishes they were friends with, but of course we would be very selective about who we chose to hang out with us.

I can just picture the look on your face right now. You're pondering how sick and twisted we are and judging us... ha, but I don't care, I love Jo. So here's to watching movies and eating pie by myself on Thanksgiving!

She is right in front of you

So the random shuffle songs game was fun, but here's what I would pick if I was designing my own soundtrack


CARLA CANKLES MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK

Opening Credits: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" -Cyndi Lauper

Waking Up: "World Spins Madly On"- The Weepies

First Day of School: "Suddenly I see" -KT Tunstall

Falling in Love: "Time After Time"- Quietdrive (or the Cyndi Lauper version is always good)

Fight Song: Eye of the Tiger (seriously... are there any other fight songs???)

Breaking Up: "Ready, Aim, Misfire" -New Years Day, "Total Eclipse of the heart"- Bonnie Tyler, "White Horse" -Taylor Swift (It's a 3 way tie, but hey, sometimes you gotta go through a lot of break up songs before you find the right "one"... and i still haven't so...)

Life: "Dirty Little Secret" -All American Rejects (ha, can it be considered a soundtrack now a days without dirty little secret)

Mental Breakdown: "Dark Blue"- Jacks Mannequin

Driving: "Life is a Highway" -Tom Cochrane

Flashbacks: "Learning to Fly" -Tom Petty

Getting Back Together: "Only One" -Yellowcard

Wedding: "Brown Eyed Girl" -Van Morrison

Birth of a Child: "The Prayer"- so many different artists (Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, Charlotte Church)

Final Battle: "Draco"- Dragonheart Soundtrack or "Once and For All"- Newsies Soundtrack

Death Scene: "Only the Good Die Young" -Billy Joel

Funeral Song: "Spirit In the Sky"- Norman Greenbaum

End Credits: "Don't Stop Believin'"- Journey


Ha, I realize most of these are pretty cheesy, and the styles don't blend very well, but guess what... It's my life, and I can have whatever jumbled conglomeration of music I want!

Favorite fruit is chocolate covered cherries

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library.
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...


CARLA CANKLES MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK

Opening Credits: "Fools like me"- Lisa Loeb

Waking Up: "Get Up" -Ciara feat. Chamillionaire

First Day of School: "Soldier" -Destiny's Child

Falling in Love: "Crazy For You" -Madonna

Fight Song: "I never loved you anyways" -The Corrs (I guess if it's a break-up/fight)

Breaking Up: "Bruised" -Jack's Mannequin

Life: "Journey to the Past" -Anastasia Soundtrack (dude it's a sign... genealogy is always haunting me)

Mental Breakdown: "Thriller" -Michael Jackson

Driving: "Broken Road" -Rascal Flatts

Flashbacks: "Why Can't I" -Liz Phair

Getting Back Together: "The Way I Are" -Justin Timbaland

Wedding: "No Woman, No Cry" -Bob Marley (wow, do you think my marriage is gonna last, geez)

Birth of a Child: "When I'm Gone" -3 doors down (yeah, this game was going so well before...)

Final Battle: "Act Naturally" -Buck Owens (ha ha my final battle is a dance off!!! ((between country hillbillies that is)))

Death Scene: "Hypnotized" - Plies ft. Akon (the dance battle didn't go so well apparently)

Funeral Song: "Bleed It Out" -Linkin Park

End Credits: "Better Than Me" -Hinder


So there ya go... the soundtrack of my life. I'll admit i'm a little disappointed certain songs didn't show up, and the last several songs didn't exactly fit, but it's all good and that's part of the game i guess.

They talk about greatness whenever they speak about me

Umm... not really, nor does the title have anything to do with the post I just thought it was a good line.

So are you ever doing something and you're reminded of a great inside joke you have with someone, but said person is no longer really in your life anymore?

It's such a depressing feeling. And then I am left chuckling to myself but nobody gets why. So in particular here's to you Rach... "I think I hit my head."

And for all those people in my life who have shared inside jokes with me, but are no longer around to keep bringing them up, to you I say "I miss you. I miss you like a fat kid on a diet misses chocolate cake!"

Open the gates and seize the day...

When I have no words, I leave you with other's inspiration.

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."

You don't know me, you don't know me at all

Jamie tagged me on one of those blog list/e-mail forward-esque activities, and for lack of better posting options here goes...

8 Things I am passionate about

1. Swimming
2. Games/Game Night
3. Desserts (cooking, baking, eating, sharing, basically anything to do with them)
4. Movies (I would love to be a part time film critic)
5. Jobabe
6. One song dance party
7. North Carolina basketball
8. Well UNC anything really

8 Words or Phrases I say often

1. ridiculous
2. blahddy blahddy blah
3. curses!
4. it's all good
5. seriously
6. gosh (but with a southern accent more like gash)
7. I can't think of any more.... you tell me

8 Things I want to accomplish in the coming year

1. Quit the Macrackaroni Grill
2. Keep up with the old guys at swim practice
3. Figure out the next phase of my life
4. Move out of Utah
5. Learn to fly
6. Master 5 languages
7. Grow 5 inches taller
8. Dye my eyes blue

8 Places I would love to go or visit (I'm currently on this whole see the U.S. kick, so these are my places to go in the next year or two... i'll start adding world sites after the u.s.)

1. Seattle
2. Portland
3. Grand Canyon (I'm actually going in 2 weeks!)
4. Disney World and all accompanying parks
5. New York City
6. British Columbia (I hear it's gorgeous and the weather is perfect... oh and i do realize this isn't the U.S.)
7. Boston
8. Atlanta

8 Things I need or want (sadly mostly material things came to mind)

1. A pair of jeans that actually fit
2. A new ipod, just one with more memory so I can have all my music with me at all times ;)
3. A bike so I can go on adventures with Emily!
4. Tear away pants (remember the old track pants that button up the side so you could just rip them off, I lost mine and I want a new pair, but I think they quit making them)
5. I could use a new laptop, but i'm still trying to decide how much i care
6. a cute apartment
7. a pumpkin pie shake (mmm mostly it just sounded really good right now, and a kid was talking about them at work)
8. AND world peace (ha ha i couldn't resist the shout out to Miss Congeniality)

And now you pass this along, but I'm not sure anyone reads my blog... however, if you do and you feel so inclined, write a list and I'll read it!

I wanna let go and know that I'll be alright

I'm wide awake and so alive
Ringing like a bell
Tell me this is paradise
And not some place I fell
My skin like scars
Cause I keep on falling down

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
Till I'm satisfied

I wanna feel the car crash
Cause I'm dying on the inside
I wanna let go and know that
I'll be alright, alright

Push me til I have to fly
I've shed my skin, my scars
Take me deep out past the lights
Where nothing dims these stars
Nothing dims these stars

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
Til I'm satisfied

I wanna feel the car crash
Cause I'm dying on the inside
I wanna let go and know that
I'll be alright, alright

So right
So wrong
I'm wide awake and so alive

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
Til I'm satisfied

I wanna feel the car crash
Cause I'm dying on the inside
I wanna let go and know that
I'll be alright, alright

Cause I'm open wide
So right, so right

Your mind is in disturbia, it's like the darkness is the light

Sometimes I get up at 5 am. And sometimes when I get home at night I park in the underground parking so that I won't have to scrape my windshield in the morning.

I'll be honest, sometimes the underground parking kinda freaks me out. I mean I walk down there at 5 am, and it's dark outside and nobody else is up at that ridiculous hour of the morning. It wouldn't take much for a serial rapist to be sitting in between two cars with a knife just waiting to take advantage of a slightly delirious (only cause of the cold, I'm pretty alert right when I get up), cute (i can say that right, I mean I don't think I need a paper bag over my head), unsuspecting (provo gives you a false sense of security) young lady such as myself.

Perhaps, just perhaps, my imagination has run away with me at these wee hours of the morning... and for that I blame the cinema, the world we live in and my roommate Jo.

The weather outside is frightful

It's hard to want to swim when there's snow on the ground. I'll be honest. I'm not really a winter person. I like a good snow storm. Sledding is fun, and cuddling up with tons of blankets and watching movies all day is fun. But it's not realistic to do this for 6 months out of the year. So I prefer warm weather with a token snow storm once or twice a year.

Too bad I still live in Utah, and I have to scrape an inch of snow off my car that has accumulated during the 2 hours of swim practice this morning...

I guess all I'm left with is the mormon approach... that I'm supposed to learn something from this, and that's when I turn to wise words once uttered by Albert Camus.

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

It's just a little crush...

Sometimes I actually do enjoy my job. Mostly I enjoy the people I work with. Let me just share one moment with you...

So we're sitting around table 201 after our shift (technically i was still on, but i like to sit around on the job :)) Anyhow and we were talking about crushes, I think because somebody's horoscope said something about their crush. Soooo, Sam mentions that she had a crush on a guy named Travis Cain in the 4th grade. Well, then Ryan (Cain) chimes right in and says that Travis is his cousin. So of course we all kind of pause, because this is potentially hilarious, but think to ourselves well there's probably a lot of Travis Cain's. So Sam says "no it's not the same guy." And Ryan says "Yeah, Travis Cain from Valencia California right." Oh I wish you could have seen the look on Sam's face. I about died laughing. It was priceless. So, she further denies that it's the same guy and Ryan offers to call him. He whips out his cell phone and starts dialing a number. In a panic, Sam says "no, don't call him." Anyhow, after several more minutes of laughter Ryan admits that he doesn't have a cousin named Travis, he just happened to hear Sam mention one time that she went to elementary school in Valencia.

Good times. Anyhow, this leads me to my gratitude list

November 3
-Papa John's pizza... yum
-Ryan and his wittiness that allowed me the second best laugh of the week
-Kneaders French Toast for breakfast

November 4
-Pushing Daisies and the funny/crazy phrases they make up like "pissing jitters"
-Laura, my roommate, for just laughing at Jo and me and our crazy antics and accepting us despite our silly escapades
-JoBabe for encouraging and laughing through all of the above. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without my honey.

Think about the chance I never had to say, thank you...

The month of november is time for the attitude of gratitude challenge. Thanks to a roommate 4 years ago, there is an e-mail that I pass around between some friends and mostly my sisters where we have the opportunity to share what we are grateful for during the month of November. I figured I'd share the details on my blog so that A) if anyone reads this and gets inspired they can pass the e-mail around between friends as well or B) in the more likely event that no one reads my blog, I can at least someday print my blog and have something slightly memorable in a journal of sorts and C) so we can all laugh at how shallow I am when it comes to making these lists.

Here's more details:


It's that time again! You can either accept or decline this challenge, but it really
isn't that difficult, and the results are wonderful, so I would advise you
to accept! It is time for the Attitude of Gratitude Challenge!

For those of you who have not played before, the "CODE" is outlined below.



HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

Each day during the month of November you will send an email to the people you want to
include in your own challenge! You only have to send one list a day, so send it to as many
people as you like! Each daily email will contain *3* "things" for which you are grateful.
[Except for the week of Thanksgiving (November 19th to 25th). All entries this week must contain
*5 "*things"].

Definition of "things"- the term "things" is used here to encompass a myriad
of stuff including, but not limited to: a certain set of circumstances, an
event, an inanimate object distinguished from a living being, possessions or
effects, a deed or act, a product of work or activity, an idea or notion, a
piece of news or information, a person, a memory, anything that makes you smile.



THE CODE:

- The challenge is to come up with 3 ORIGINAL "things" each day. Try
not to repeat entries.
- Your email should be sent by midnight each night. If you miss a day
or two, no biggie, but you have to make it up, no skipping! (Note:
For some of you, this may require accessing your email account on a more
regular basis).
- The challenging part of the challenge: One of your entries each day
must either be the name of a person who you spoke with that day about how
you appreciate them OR an experience involving a person who did something
for you ( i.e. held the door or the elevator for you) and you gave
them a "Super" thank you.
- NOTE: A "Super" thank you is more than a simple " thanks" or
"thank you". Let's say, for example (hypothetically speaking,
of course), you ordered a "tricky" order with specific preferences at a
restaurant and the waitress gets it all right! Along with
leaving a nice tip, a "Super" thank you would include remarks to the
waitress along the lines of "thanks so much for getting that right".
"Super" thank you's involve more interaction between the giver
and receiver and are typically more sincere. I think you get
the idea.



Okay, the challenge starts November 1st, which is today. Good Luck!

Unless you are one of my cohorts, this is the last email you'll receive
from
me until the December Holiday challenge. It's up to you and your cohort to
keep the challenge going. (Maybe I'll send an email to remind you about
the 5 "things" for the week of Thanksgiving).



WARNING OF POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS !!

Please note that challenge participation may result in any or all of the
following:

-you will be surprised at all the Lord has done for you

-angels will attend

-you will feel help and comfort

-(my personal favorite) you may find yourself singing as the days go by

-your doubts will fly

Have fun!

***** So here's two of my days so far

November 1
-Braxton for thinking that I make work fun, and reminding me that even though i sometimes hate my job, we still have a lot of fun
-Hearty sandwiches with everything on them
-Big Tips that make crappy nights bearable

November 2
-Grumpy Gills for allowing me to have the longest hardest laugh in a while
-Wheat Thins and the fact that I don't have a gluten allergy
-Rain which reminds me of home and makes me feel so much less guilty for vegging on the couch all day