Here's the story, of a lovely lady...

So my friend Jack purchases edited movies (for an exorbitant amount) much to my delight. It allows my typically guilt-ridden mormon conscience to enjoy R rated films that I have longed to see, yet out of some probably dramatic concern for my salvation have not yet previously viewed.

Last night I watched Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious! You know those films that you just know you'll love, this was one of those. (Kind of like me purchasing Grey's Anatomy on DVD before I had ever seen it, or more recently Pushing Daisies (I know I'm gonna love it)). ANYHOW, little miss sunshine depicted what I like to think is the real American family. A completely dysfunctional, weird, slightly self-absorbed, set of individuals who don't necessarily get along even 10% of the time, but deep, deep down love each other and find this love in the most dire and hilarious of circumstances. Movies like these allow me to embrace the realization that my family is not exactly "normal," and savor the fact that we put the fun in dysfunctional. Now, I'm not saying that I have a grandpa who snorts heroin, or a suicidal uncle, nor have we ever transported a dead body in the trunk of our car but we definitely have quirks and I think we are better for it.

Besides, normal never won any Oscars.

I need another time, another town, another everything

December sounds like a great month to move. I could pack up my crap, actually go home for christmas this year, and then start fresh somewhere in January. It's so cliche to want to start over in January with the new year and all, but hey, if it works... it works.

In other news, I've started an adult swimteam. It's not really a swimteam, because there aren't meets. But, it's swim practice with a coach everyday from 5:30-7 in the morning, so what would you call it? I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm excited to get back in shape and pretend like I'm hard core about swimming. The only downfall is it's noon and I'm exhausted. Perhaps, I'll go to bed... so much for studying.

I was gonna clean my room but then i got... my room is still messed up and i know why

Sadly, it has been a week and I continue to have nothing to blog about. This could be for several reasons.

1. I don't watch the news, therefore I have no valid opinion on current events. Quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing about McCain and Obama and I forgot to file for my absentee ballot. Dang.

2. I'm not working this week. I took the week off so that I might study and finally get my health instructor certification. Somehow, I forgot that I am terrible at studying. You may think I am exaggerating, but no, my ability to graduate in 3 years was merely from information being fresh in my mind. I have never been good at studying and I am still not good at studying. Go figure.

3. In an effort to not feel bad about studying I alternate between looking for jobs that I would be qualified for if I just studied and got my certification, and staring at the blank blog page hoping for some inspiration with which to amuse you (my 3 faithful readers :)

4. Then when even those activities get dull, I just sit here and watch my roommate curl her hair (she's so pretty). Oh, and I discovered the show Pushing Daisies this week. It's my new favorite. It's so cheesy and sappy, but endearing at the same time. It's wholesome in a way that mocks it's wholesomeness (which is my favorite kind of wholesome).

5. I just felt like I needed a number 5. What kind of a list only has 4 reasons. Is that even a list?

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

 Ha, this video is hilarious. Go Vote!

See more Judd Apatow videos at Funny or Die

Suddenly I see, this is what i wanna be

So Emily and I were having a conversation (if you can call messages over facebook a conversation) about *shocker* how much it sucks to be an adult. We were contemplating the fact that people constantly ask those of us who are single what we are doing with our lives, and they expect big answers. They expect us to be productive and successful and going places. Yet, to my knowledge married people don't get asked these questions. It's like getting married gets you off the hook. All of a sudden nobody expects you to be going places, and doing things to change the world for the better. You're married. That is going places and doing things. 

Oh, but I can hear you. Sure, Carla, being married is so great, instead of asking about jobs they ask you when you're having kids. SO WHAT!!!! Are you trying to say that making babies is hard. I don't buy it. Heck, it's enjoyable to boot. Which then leads me to the pregnancy state of being. Somebody asks me "Are you just trying to be a career server, or what?" Yes, yes of course my lifelong dream was to take orders from people detailing whether they want mushrooms in their pasta or a lime in their coke. However, they turn to my friend who is pregnant and does she get asked what she is doing with her life. No, she's pregnant.... Yeah, let that sink in. 

Since when did being pregnant become an active pursuit in life. I mean it effects your daily life and I'm not in any way trying to say that it is easy or shouldn't be respected and taken seriously. However, it is still an involuntary bodily process. It's not as though you have to take 10 hours each day and focus "grow baby, grow baby, grow (ha ha in my head that sounded like V-Ice singing go ninja, go ninja, go)."

So, I have decided that from now on when people ask what I'm doing with my life I'm gonna say "I'm metabolizing. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm metabolizing." Crinkled foreheads, and questioning looks. "What you thought metabolizing wasn't something you do with your life... oh, are you sadly mistaken. See, because I'm focused I metabolize at twice the rate you do." Cynical looks. "Yeah, that's right, twice the rate."

If that doesn't work, I'm resorting to "I'm in the witness protection program, I can't give you any details, but they call me Carla."

If I lay here, If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world

I used to live in a house on a street off of a main road. In the kitchen of this house was a bar (cabinets extending into the middle of the kitchen) and a breakfast nook so to speak, or just a convenient place to put the table i guess. We had chairs around the table and stools next to the bar. This table was an ideal location for sprawling homework and books out in front of oneself because we still had the bar on which people could eat their meals. Also, next to the table was a large window overlooking the front yard, the gas station across the street, and the main road off to the left corner. 

I loved this window. We used to just sit and stare out the window. I can recall many profound conversations I had with over 14 different roommates while staring out this window. I can recall some remarkably delicious meals eaten right in front of this window. I can also recall many spying's on dates, neighbors, and other events out of this window. I can even recall the changing of seasons and all the emotions that follow. I have seen the beginning of fall, and leaves falling off the trees onto the front lawn. I have seen the collection of feet of fresh snow and then watching the snow ploughs driving up and down turning it into a mucky (muddy + yucky = mucky) mess. I have seen countless students walk by on their way to class with jackets in the morning and t-shirts in the afternoon as the weather warmed up again. 

If someone asked me one of my favorite places, surely the first words out of my mouth would not be "in front of a window, in a broken down, drafty, in need of repair barn shaped house located in the happening town of provo, utah." And yet...

I loved this spot. I love the memories that I have of this one spot, and I can't think of one spot in any of my previous or current residences that hold as much meaning to me. 

Am I crazy? Or do you have a window too...

Love was surely made for fools like me

Love is complicated. I know that's not exactly some profound world shattering statement. We all know this. Yet it still interests me how complicated love can be despite billions of people inhabiting the earth, dealing with all types of relationships every day. I mean shouldn't somebody have a clue.

Some guys at work keep telling me about their relationship problems. One wants to marry a girl and she has all of a sudden become distant, giving crap excuses like she's not sure the spirit is telling her the same thing. I mean I'm all for involving Heavenly Father in major life decisions, but if you don't want to marry someone, man up and just say it. Another guy is dating a girl who wants to marry him, but he isn't sure. He says he's at the point where he doesn't mind seeing her and spending time with her, but it also isn't top on his list of things to do each day. That makes me sad. Is it so unrealistic to want a relationship in which the other person is excited to see you even after 6 months, a year, or 20?

Perhaps, it's the constant stream of Grey's Anatomy episodes on our apartment television, but I've come to a few conclusions about what I want in a relationship.

1. In the spirit of Grey's, I want someone who looks at me the way McDreamy looks at Meredith. I know that sounds absurd because it's a tv show, but in all reality he just always seems to convey sincere emotions when looking at her. It's concern when she's upset, and attentiveness when she's talking, and the overall I can't believe I'm with her kind of look.

2. I want a guy who talks about me the way President Hinckley talked about his wife. They weren't without their problems, and he often talked about needing to go for a walk around the block, but in the same breath he could say she was the girl of his dreams. He always had so much respect and appreciation for her. 

3. I read a book recently that restored my hope in romantic novels (after all the dribble that is twilight, i was seriously doubting (sorry to those who love twilight, i don't mean to offend... and i don't mean to go off on that book)). So my favorite conversation in this book isn't a particularly climatic one at all, but it just seemed more real than most books, in that it's not exactly the most eloquent, but it's sincere and tugs at the heart strings- in it's own way. So, the background is a boy talking to a girl, they're just friends, and he's explaining how he thinks of her.

      "I mean, if you gave some guy the assignment of creating a woman using as little material as possible but without cutting any corners, he'd make you."

"Why, that's so--- sweet?" But it was sweet. No one had ever told me my corners were uncut before.

"I don't know if it's sweet, but it's true. When you're around other women, they end up looking sprawling and overdone, like whoever made them got carried away."

"Went way overbudget," I said.

"Right. Although, the person who made you may have gotten a little extravagant with your face, but probably because he had some left over to spend."

"Economical guy that he was." I laughed. 

Anyhow, I guess I don't know what I mean by #3, other than I want to have real conversations that aren't out of a movie, but seem sweet to me and that's all that matters. Although on that note I do love on Grey's when Meredith tells Derek she loves him "in a really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a boom box over my head kind of way"

So there you go, my ideals for a relationship. They don't seem awfully unrealistic to me, but who knows- maybe it would be easier if i rattled off a list with stats such as 6 ft 2 in, brown hair, blue eyes, college educated, loves the beach, etc. etc.

I'll just leave you with this thought from our good friend, the wise man Dr. Seuss: "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" 

One step at a time

My trip to Chicago got me out of the blogging habit, and then I came home and wrote a blog about my trip, but I was bored writing it... so I assumed you'd be bored reading it, and well I just haven't been struck with inspiration since. Like those cheesy shirts say "Life is good." My roommate Jo is back and I find that it's more entertaining for me to just talk to her, rather than blog about my issues- because feedback is nice and I'm all about instant gratification.

Anyhow, to help get the juices flowing again, I'm gonna share just a few of the activities that keep my simple mind entertained lately.

-Sitting in the broken and empty apartment hot tub writing letters to my friends on missions (I find that people are more willing to talk to a crazy girl sitting fully clothed in an empty hot tub... funny how that works. Hmmm, now I'm tempted to see how they would respond to a girl sitting in her swimsuit in an empty hot tub.)

-Swimming in a long-course pool. It's so much nicer than just a 25 yard pool.

-Buying ridiculous amounts of cereal. I can admit I have a serious problem, but with cereal going on sale for a dollar a box, I don't understand why more people don't have this problem.

-Milk tastings. For anyone who is unfamiliar, BYU creamery has many flavors of milk, so we had a taste testing to see which were the best. I stand by the good ol' classic: chocolate.

-Listening to cheesy new pop songs. Yeah, I'm talking about you David Archuleta, Colbie Calliat, and Jordin Sparks.

-Wal-mart shopping with Jo. Correction. Any shopping with Jo. Correction. All the shenanigans Jo and I get into, and boy do we get into them...

So, yeah, pretty dull, but it works for me. 

Scars are souvenirs you never lose

I love this time of year. It almost feels more like a new start than New Years does to me. A new school year (I'm still adjusting to the fact that my life isn't defined by school years anymore), new clothes, new shoes, new tv shows, and of course... new people. New people at church, at school, at work, basically all my current social networks are changing and with change comes get to know you conversations which are oh-so-fun. 

These conversations typically go like so- "Hi my name is so and so, I am from whatever state, I have been attempting to figure out what to do with myself while at college for some amount of semesters and now I am majoring in this and that. La ti da."  YAWN. Oh wait, what was that. 

Exactly, these intro's are boring and nobody remembers any of the details. Recently, though, while sitting in one of these social settings with a number of new people, we were asked to go around and introduce ourselves by telling about our best scar or our worst date. It was the most entertaining "get to know you" that I think I've ever been a part of. 

So what's the story behind your scars?

When I grow up, I wanna be...

While watching Grey's Anatomy, Meredith discusses the benefits of being an adult... 

1. Driving- definitely the best thing to happen to any individual as they make their descent into the dismal existence that is adulthood.

2. Ice cream diet- ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner if you want... cause there's no one to nag you about the complete lack of nutrients 

3. Sex- oh wait, I'm mormon, darn....

Ha, then my roommate Rachel chimes in "sex, we can work on that, you'll be having sex in no time." 

......

......

Hmmm... yeah, my roommates are great influences. Don't worry, I'm not gonna go around breaking any commandments... I'll just stick to watching Grey's with half gallons of slow-churned cookie dough Dreyer's Ice Cream. 

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

While reading an article about the sappy Olympic commercials, i found a link to this article.

Ads We Hate: The most annoying commercials in the universe.

The slogan on Greyhound's most recent ad campaign: "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.' " A clever line, extolling the alleged laid-back nature of bus travel. Two problems. 1) I myself have experienced "bus rage"—every single time I've ridden a bus. 2) The ads went up just in time for the occurrence of what must be the absolute worst case of bus rage in history—an incident in Canada in which a Greyhound passenger beheaded his seatmate with a knife and then began "hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them." If you hadn't heard of bus rage before, you have now!

Ok, i must admit, I laughed. I know, I'm a disturbed person, who has obviously been calloused by video games and overly violent movies and reduced to a desentized cruel excuse for a human being... but seriously, i bet you laughed too. No, not because I think it's funny that some guy brutally killed and ate his busmate, but because sometimes commercials are so ridiculous you wonder how they ever got past the advertising executives.

And yet, despite the intro, i was having trouble recalling obnoxious commercials, so I decided to share my current favorite. Enjoy.

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive

As the Olympics draws to a close, it's only appropriate to end my Olympic postings with my favorite pictures of Michael Phelps!

Yeah, he know's he's hot.

You've got the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen

I've always hated those girls who planned out their whole wedding down to the most ridiculous detail when they were in high school. Or before they were even engaged for that matter. It always seemed kind of selfish to assume that everything would be exactly how you want it, when there is someone else with whom you are sharing the day. Not to mention, the fact that for many people their taste in clothing, music, and color schemes changes during the 5-10 years between high school and "the big day."

Yet, as is becoming rather common for me, I feel that I need to eat my own words and confess that I've become a total hypocrite. Despite my best efforts, as I've watched many of my friends get married in the past year, I've decided on a lot of preferences in relation to weddings and I'm sad to admit I do have a less than vague idea of what i want.

So, let me step out of reality for a moment and share some of these with you. Opinions are welcome, but I can't promise that I'll care what you have to say, because it'll be my (and some guy's) party and I can pretty much do whatever I want.

My vision is pretty much limited to the apparrel, the food, and more recently the dancing. I've already designed my wedding dress (my mom is a most talented seamstress, who is very accomodating when it comes to my designs), and it's a very casual dress reminiscent of a beach wedding (but obviously won't be, because I'm getting married in the temple). I want the guys in the wedding party to be wearing tan suits and rainbows (the flip flops). I also want the girls to be in a more casual summery dress (oh, yeah this fantasy is contingent on a summer wedding). I hate when the guys are in tux's and the girls are in sunday dress (or vice versa, satin dresses and slacks). Essentially I just want everyone to be casual and comfortable, but classy... think JCrew summer catalog.

Anyhow, so with the summer apparel, the backdrop most obviously has to be a Pig Pickin'. I mean seriously, a wedding is a celebration and therefore should be all about good food, good company, and good times. I define this as a Pig Pickin'. I love barbeque. I love the South. I love the outdoors. Need I say more.

So this was pretty much all I ever wanted out of a wedding, and then i saw this preview for some show where Napoleon and Tabitha (off So You Think You Can Dance) choreograph a wedding dance for couples (they do hip hop routines), and I thought that'd be cool. I mean who wants to dance to some lovey dovey crap like Jesse McCartney's "beautiful soul" (i'm really sorry if I just offended someone), I sure don't! No of course not, I'd rather bust it out to some sick Chris Brown song like "Forever." Ha, I know, you're all thinking "and how is that better." Fair enough, I maintain the right to dismiss this part of my plans at any time. But for today at least, i think it would be cool to bust out a hip hop routine at my wedding.

Oh, and I want the groom to have the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen (hey, it's my fantasy wedding!)

So there ya go, the crazy girl side of me. Oh and when this all goes down, you're totally invited. Just remember your sunglasses and appetite!

I want to run through the halls of my high school

Actually, I have no desire to ever step foot in my high school again. It's like that Jack Handy quote "why ask me how school was, it's like a drive by shooting, i'm just glad I made it out alive."

I do, however, want to scream at the top of my lungs. I mistakenly thought I graduated from high school 4 YEARS AGO. Oh contrare, I dwell in the dismal, gossip invested, back stabbing, immature world that should be called Macaroni Grill High. Anyone, who rejoices upon high school graduation, has yet to stumble upon the dream crushing realization that high school is merely a preview of life and the drama continues as long as you're a functioning member of society. It is a strong person who can continue into life unscathed and revel in their lack of concern towards other opinions and the immature and selfish games we play to get ahead in life.

I'm not sure how well I'm playing the game, but i suppose Kanye put it best... that, that don't kill me, can only make me stronger.

Henry the eighth, I am I am

Having just watched The Other Boleyn Girl, I am amazed at the drama and complete lack of morals the involved parties displayed. Geez, and I thought our political system has issues...

Lessons I learned from The Other Boleyn Girl

1. Committing adultery will not only send you to hell, it'll lead to you and your sister sleeping with the same man, you sleeping with your brother, and the loss of your head... They should use Anne Boleyn in high school health classes as a shining beacon of why you should remain abstinent.

2. Violence against women is fine if said women "seduced" you into breaking your ties with the Catholic Church.

3. Bastard children are perhaps lucky to be unclaimed by their psychologically damaged father.

4. And of course, never underestimate the power of women... no male heir could have done what Elizabeth did so powerfully for 45 years.

*Disclaimer: Wikipedia does not paint the picture of such a conniving power hungry wench as hollywood does. Ok, really the movie was interesting and it prompts you to seek out the 5 facts that you know hollywood spun a 2 hour movie out of. (dang it, i know i'm not supposed to end sentences with prepositions but I'm too tired to rewrite it... goodnight)

In my mind I'm going to Carolina...

So I found this old list of 25 ways to know you're from North Carolina and it made me laugh... so i will share a few of my fav's.

You Know You're From North Carolina if:

-You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.
-You sold Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a school or church fundraiser before those glazed doughnuts went global.
-You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school.
-People are not fat, they're healthy
-You've actually uttered the phrase "it's too hot to go to the pool."
-School was cancelled because of cold, heat, and hurricanes
-The festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco
-You know what a pig pickin' is, and you consider being a "Pork Queen" an honor.

Well, welcome to my world a little bit. Anyhow, in other news Chelsie Hightower, Gev and myself are becoming fast friends (meaning they came in for another 20 minute meal at the Mac Grill!). I am proud to say I got a picture this time, and if I ever bother to learn how to add pictures to my blog it will be up shortly.

I don't quite know how to say how I feel

I can only imagine how Michael Phelps feels. I'm ecstatic and tired, and all I've done is watch. Way to go Michael! Congratulations.

That is all.

Because I'm sure it isn't good- that's the impression that i get

Wow, so while perusing through some friends blogs and then linking to their friends blogs I came across this assessment of the fourth and final book in the Twilight series. Having just completed the book, so as to better defend my stance on the poor quality of the series, I really couldn't have summed it up better myself. So here's to stealing from other people's blogs...


For some inexplicable and perverse reason, I spent the last hour and a half of my life perusing an online copy of Breaking Dawn. You know, the new manual for Young Women's and Relief Society. And this is what I learned:

1. Sub/dom is the model for the ideal relationship. (That's right: forget that "equal partnership" article that the Hafens wrote up for the Ensign. They just haven't discovered the thrill and fulfillment of rocking your wife to sleep while singing her a lullaby.)

2. Promising self-betterment is a great way to get a guy to sleep with you. Bonus: after you've achieved your goal (the sex part, not the betterment part), he'll be so happy that he'll totally forget about that little promise you made about education.

3. Speaking of education, it really is just a way to half-heartedly pass the time until you get knocked up. After the happy event, who needs it? Out the window!

4. Being pregnant is really, really awful.

5. Bella is the noblest vampire ever. Why? Because she doesn't need human blood! All she needs is sex, sex, and more sex! (And lots of helpful vampire friends to watch the baby. All the time. Until it's convenient for her to remember that said baby exists (ie: in the morning).)Throw Fascinating Womanhood and A Fascinating Girl out the window. We've got all we need right here to raise the next generation of errand-running angels.

A bit harsh, and yet well said.

And the world spins madly on

He is amazing! He is just straight up amazing. Tonight's race was incredible. To be honest, I'm a traitor in thought. I didn't think he had it. It looked like he was going to lose, but with one hundreth of a second he out touched for the gold medal. (It makes me feel better to know that his mom thought he had 2nd as well, and then practically fainted when she saw that he won.) Anyhow, the swimming is nearly over, and then I have to wait four more years til the London Olympics to share my love of swimming with the World. But for now Michael Phelps has won 7 Gold Medals, is one of the greatest Olympians of all time, and has potential to be the greatest swimmer of all time.

In other news, I was explaining something to a couple of new guys who are training at Macaroni Grill, and my manager walks by and states that I am available (always looking for prime opportunities to embarass his employees). So I ask him what makes him think that I'm available, and he matter of factly states that there aren't any guys good enough to make me completely unavailable. (the collective ahhh now comes from all 2 people that will read this). Yeah, I know... not true, but a really sweet thing to say. Anyhow, perhaps I should write him a note about it* (inside joke with mac grill employees, or at least the cool employees :)

Lame posts lately, I know, sorry. I'll try to make my life more interesting so as to have better posts, and well, cause life's just better when it's interesting.

I met the girl on tv

So I have just been on cloud nine right, with the Olympics and all, but to put icing on the cake, Chelsie Hightower and Gev from So You Think You Can Dance came into Macaroni Grill last night to eat. It was hilarious! I see them walk in, totally do a double take, and then go running back to Jodi screaming "you won't believe who just walked in!" We then proceeded to watch them through their entire meal just gushing and debating whether we should bug them or leave them to their date. Graciously, we allowed them to eat their food in peace, but I talked to them as they were leaving and even got a hug from both (they seemed almost equally as stoked- to know they have nerdy fans like me). Anyhow, what a night.

Of course I didn't get out of work til midnight because I couldn't stop talking about So You Think You Can Dance and the celebrities that I touched! And of course this morning I had to call my mom and sisters to brag about meeting them and now it's 1 pm and I'm feeling pretty worthless.

Ehh who cares. In the grand scheme of things am I going to remember and be glad that I used this day productively or that I watched every swim race in the 2008 Olympics and met Chelsie and Gev. Yeah, I agree, definitely the later...

Please get me a towel, Mr. Tangerine Speedo

I just witnessed perhaps one of the greatest swim races of my time. The Men's 4 x 100 Free Relay was incredible. I'm not sure there's even words to describe that relay. Basically it was the perfect relay. The U.S. team swam the perfect race to beat the highly favored French Men's Team by 8 one hundreth's of a second, not to mention shattering the previous world record by 4 seconds (that's like going from a 6 min mile to a 3.5 min mile in 2 weeks, for all you non-swimmers). And of course, as if winning gold and rubbing it in the french's face isn't good enough... Michael Phelps is now 2 for 2 in his quest for 8 gold medals in one olympics, which would make him the greatest Olympian in history. Bascially to sum this all up, I'm pretty much as ecstatic as I was when UNC won the NCAA title in 2005. I only wish that I actually had some of my swimming friends to watch it with me, or at least my little sister. Anyhow, I should probably go rest my voice now if I have any desire to talk to my tables at work tomorrow... (ha, so much to respond to that, but i'll leave it alone).

***Disclaimer: If you're already tired of my posts on the Olympics, you might want to tune out of my blog for the next 6 days... as there are many more swimming events to come***

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in

Just some quick random thoughts, because I should have gone to bed forever and a day ago, but.... of course I got sucked into another 3 hours of Olympics. I love the Olympics. I think they are so entertaining. It's just incredible to me what people can do, and the spirit that allows people to set aside political, religious, and ethnic differences for 17 days every 2 years to rejoice in the human spirit (I know I sound like one of the television ads... it happens after watching practically 15 hours of Olympics in a 28 hour time period... ok i tivo through the commentator and boring stuff, but it is still pretty ridiculous.)

On another note, 2 friends from work (Swift and Peter) and myself are going to open a conglomerate of businesses. We're considering naming them Johnny Swift Industries with one of our first companies being 'Fork Me Fondue: Come take a dip in our pot.' Ha. I'm still laughing, I think it's very catchy.

Now, on to my beauty rest (I have a potentially life changing dinner tomorrow (ha, that's for you peter ((since you're my only blog reader, anyhow))) :)

Seriously! Seriously?

Do you ever watch a movie and wonder how the heck it won so many awards? I mean I'm talking an Oscar for Best Picture for goodness sakes. Best Picture? Really? Was this movie really the best picture for said year? Well, that's just sad, because I then immediately assume that the rest of the films produced that year must have been pretty bleak. This has happened in recent years, but I've been watching a lot of old Best Pictures Oscar winners and I've been so disappointed. Shouldn't a "best picture" be able to transcend time and appeal to the masses even generations later?

Well, perhaps it's just me. Let's be honest, I love the orignial Buffy the Vampire Slayer... so what do I know about best pictures.

Cause I'm easy like sunday morning

Today's a good day. I love overcast summer days. I also love string cheese, my new favorite snack. It's 60 calories of protein and calcium filled goodness (a.k.a. behold the power of cheese).

Everybody go, the party's over.... I want to be alone in my head in my bed tonight

I'm finding lots of jobs that would lead me to places that provide less than optimal social scenes (google: Supai, Arizona). Some days I think so what... a social life is over-rated. I could be completely happy going to work, going to the gym for a couple hours and then settling into my bed to enjoy a couple netflix delivered hours of mindless entertainment. Could I though?

The same girl who sinks into a pit of despair when she realizes not one person texted her today, who would rather sit at Macaroni Grill an hour after her shift ends just to chat, who started blogging so she's not talking out loud to herself, do you think this girl can handle a practically non-existent social life in a town where she knows no one? (Although that seemed like a run-on sentence, I think that sentence is actually grammatically correct, amazing...)

Annie are you ok, Annie are you ok, are you ok Annie?

I need a roommate. Or to be more correct, I need my roommates to be home once in a blue moon. Or I need a friend. Will you be my friend?

Seriously, though, I'm searching for jobs and sometimes I stumble across the most ridiculous job advertisements, which just ache to be aprreciated (a.k.a. mocked) by more than my lowly self. And yet, I sit here... alone, chuckling and wondering if these advertisements are truly out there in cyberspace for the world's entertainment or if someone hacked into my computer and planted them just for me. I'm pretty sure it's the former, which is almost more dismal.

Anyhow, there's also this other position. It's this successful businessman (runs 3 companies) who is looking for a personal assistant (female) who also has an exercise/health background, is organized, and can handle phone calls and meetings with important people. Sounds right up my alley, right? The job is part-time, pays well, and involves lots of paid international travel. Should one actually apply for such a job? Sadly, with the world we live in today, I wonder whether he is just a beast to work for or a serial rapist putting out a rather clever job ad to lure in innocent girls. Well, since I have nobody to discuss said job with, if I end up applying, please watch for me on Dateline.

Happiness is...

My more recent blogs have been somewhat depressing. And although, recent activities in my life are not the most exciting or on my top 100 list of things I enjoy doing, I'm actually quite happy. Life is good. To illustrate let me just list 5 measley things to celebrate.

1. Twitch is in the finals
2. My favorite flavor of ice cream has been on sale 2 weeks in a row
3. I have a Netflix subscription which delivers little envelopes of delight about every 2 or 3 days
4. I just glanced in the mirror and I look hot (of course these moments are most often at midnight when I'm home alone, but it's a confidence booster anyways)
5. AND..... I'm going to my baby's daddy's house to have dinner with his family in approximately one week, one day, and 23.pie hours (just kidding about the countdown) ((but seriously, our baby is named biscuit and once he's done cooking in my oven, he's gonna be one ridiculously good-looking kid))

So.... yeah.... the list is slightly over the top with a pathetic meter rating of about 'a day in the life of paris hilton,' but i'm just trying to illustrate that life is good and I think I'm better than I've been in a while. I suppose Carrie Bradshaw summed it up well "Happiness is like a butterfly- the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..."

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have so many things to figure out. My sister once shared this bit of wisdom. "Deciding on the right thing to do is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier." I feel as though I've spent the past year wearing a wildly inappropriate outfit to the party. Why didn't anyone tell me?

Your love is my heart disease

Life was so much easier when clothes didn't match and boys had cooties.

I used to think I understood guys. I grew up around guys and I've always been more inclined to be friends with guys. I don't mean this in a harsh or critical way, but guys thinking is just more simple. It's typically a thought followed by an action. There's usually a pretty clear motive behind their actions if you know the person or look at the big picture. Girls, on the other hand, are so complicated we confuse ourselves. It's thoughts back and forth and back and forth and sometimes you end up with an action that came from some logical reasoning and sometimes things just got all muddled up in the back and forth and you're left with our crazy antics.

I also used to think that I could be one of the guys. I could keep things simple if I wanted to. You say something that ticks me off and I just punch you, or you ask if i want to hang out with you and I respond "no, i'm ticked at you right now... maybe some other time." Sure, I am a girl and by that right, I suppose I'm crazy like all girls. In our defense, I say to the male audience: You try dealing with ridiculous amounts of hormones pumping through your body at fluctuating levels every day of the month. "It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." EXACTLY. So cut us some slack. However, despite even the disclaimer, I've convinced myself that I have a remarkable ability to step outside my emotions and identify when it's the hormones talking and live my life in a rather rational and logical manner. And yet...

I don't understand boys. Sometimes I swear they're about as bright as lava lamps. I am of course speaking purely on a relationship level. Why do guys treat some girls with respect and not others? Why do they think it's alright to call one girl just to make out, but they would never consider calling this other girl? What causes them to make these judgements about girls? And more curiously, why are some girls good enough to be a friend, dare i say even a best friend, a confidante, your right hand man, but she's not good enough to date?

Now, i almost wish someone read my blog so i could get a response to my questions... Alas, I'm left with only my ponderings.

Just when i was low, feeling short of stable

My self-esteem has taken a rather large blow recently upon realizing that I have been working at Macaroni Grill for almost a year. As I attempt to look for other jobs that provide a little more in the department of satisfaction when going to work, I realize that a year at Macaroni Grill is hardly a shining beacon on my resume. Sadly, misery likes company, and I find solace in my friends who have had, or are having a similarly hard time figuring out the next phase of life. Sometimes it's just good to know you're not alone.

On a happier note, I get tired of explaining what I'm doing with my life, so I tell everyone that I aspire to be Tinkerbell and fly over the Castle at Disneyland. Anyhow, I just wanted the world to know that my mom is the best, and to help keep my dreams alive, she just mailed me a tinkerbell shirt that is S-I-C-K, that means sick.