Where does the good go?

Waiting tables, or any job that gets paid based on tips, is an interesting occupation in that people get to decide your pay and therefore use this opportunity as a chance to evaluate you. 

I don't know what it is about waiting tables, but people totally milk this chance to evaluate a complete stranger based on sometimes a 5 minute interaction. Certain people feel that it is their responsibility to mankind to point out to the world everything that is wrong with their server as if it is a huge injustice to the world that their server couldn't hand out straws while balancing a tray of 10 drinks and handing those out to the correct person without spilling. 

Let me illustrate this in a way that everyone who's ever had a job can understand. Typically jobs require some sort of evaluation by your superior. Fortunately this usually only takes place every 6 months to a year. Now they often start off by listing the things that you are doing well in, and then they hone in on those little things that just don't cut it for them. If you are actually a competent employee who is well liked by your superiors these are often petty things for the sake of offering room for improvement. However, despite the fact that these judgements are small, it's still somewhat cutting to hear these, and I know very few people who are not affected by these statements. 

Now imagine going through this scenario 15 times a night. Sure there are appraisals that are fabulous, and people that love you... and then there are those people that rip you apart, and are not satisfied til their malacious venomous piece is said. To everyone. 

I can't really even describe my night. I wish it could just go away. I want someone to call. I want someone to hold me. I know that I'm an adult and having someone hold me isn't going to make my problems go away. I can't just pass them off. It's not like when you are five and mom holds you and really can erase everything, but I want to be held none the less. I don't want to be asked why it was a hard day. I don't want someone to solve my problems or get me to talk it through. I just for a few moments want that comfort, to not feel so alone, to feel that when the world is trying to tear you down there's still someone on your side. 

Well, i guess it's just me and the ipod... and for days like these, I have Jack's Mannequin.

It's gonna be a hard day

(It's gonna be a hard day)

Don't panic, don't panic

We are hanging here