You don't seem to know, seem to care, what your heart is for

dachau

what a devastatingly amazing memorial. Dachau was one of the first concentration camps started by the nazi's and the longest running camp, operating a total of twelve years. You walk through the main gate, with the infamous words "Arbeit Macht Frei" (work makes you free), into the main square used for roll call. It's huge. To the left are the remnants of barracks and to the right is what was once the building where they processed the prisoners, it is now the museum.

Though I was prepared for an overwhelming experience, I must honestly say it wasn't as bad as I expected. The museum is extremely informative and very interesting. I was actually fine until I reached the descriptions of the Nazi's methods of torture and the medical experiments they performed on the prisoners. The museum is moving in that it allows you to ponder the events, but it lacks the individual connections that really move one to emotion, such as one finds in memoirs and films.

As I walked through the barracks, the crematorium, the gas chamber (very eerie), I'm left wondering how a human being could do this to another human being? How does one come to the point where your purpose for getting up every morning is to murder, torture, and demoralize another human being? And I'm even more amazed at the people who were able to survive the concentration camps. The survivors listed in the museum were men who had been imprisoned for up to 4 years. How does one witness such atrocities, endure such hunger and pains, have the hope beaten out of them, and still maintain the will to live?

Today was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining, there was a warm breeze, the trees were starting to bloom and the birds were chirping in the forest. As I strolled along soaking in the sunshine, I couldn't help but ponder the circumstances some 70 years ago. What would it have been like to not be able to pause? To not be allowed to enjoy the first spring days? To dread the winter for it's bitter cold and to dread the summer for it's unrelenting sun? Do you think the birds still chirped? For some reason I seem to think that animals sense when things aren't right and settle elsewhere (or perhaps the stench of a crematorium would do it as well). At any rate, I marvel at those who survived, for I feel I would not have the strength to live so long in such a place, and I mourn for the others who lost their lives. I pray for the time when all people are respected as the sons and daughters of God that we are.

I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city

AMSTERDAM


-Again, Amsterdam/Holland is beautiful! I love the surrounding towns, but I also liked the feel of the city center. So many people are out biking and all the families and shop owners go out in the afternoon and soak up the sun on their front steps and porches. Everyone was very friendly, and always comforting-most everyone speaks english.

-I went to a cheese/clog making factory. Odd that these two are together? Yeah I suppose. Anyhow, the factory is in the small fishing town of Volendam. Which is green and reminds me of the grassier areas of North carolina right before you cross the bridge to Topsail Island. So I never understood the point of wooden clogs. I figured they were just for decoration. During the tour they demonstrated making a shoe (fascinating) and it's easy to carve the shoe because the wood is so wet, but after 6 weeks drying they are permanently waterproof, which makes them useful for gardening (where most people wear them.) Also, traditionally a boy had to make a pair of shoes for the girl he wished to marry and if she liked the shoes he married her... I can totally picture a modern chick flick running with this idea and implementing the mandatory Jimmy Choo's. So long story short people actually wear the shoes.

-More gelato tastings: Not as good as Germany's gelato, but kiwi gelato is quite delicious!

-The Anne Frank house. What an incredible story. I read the book before, but the house is just so amazing. It's such a testament to the will to live, and making the most of crappy situations. But I couldn't get over the tragedy that after all those years in hiding all but Otto Frank died in concentration camps. Though his is probably not the only case, I can't imagine the struggle of living through Auschwitz and being liberated only to find your family and closest friends have all been killed. Though your heart breaks for the lost dreams of such a promising young girl as Anne, part of me can't even fathom the challenge of being the one left behind.

-I really wish Utah girls and European girls could somehow meet eachother. It just seems really funny in my head. The utah poof, heavy make-up, stiletto's versus the air dried, make up free, acid wash jean, 80's loving look of europeans. I like to think of myself as a happy medium... of course some might call that a lack of fashion/style... whatever (eye roll).

-The hostel though a little reminiscient of camp, turned out great. It had clean comfortable rooms, hammocks to enjoy the sunshine, friendly staff who were able to point me in the right direction, free internet, parking and breakfast. Oh and it wasn't in the red light district... So basically it was the best deal I could have gotten. It was a perfect location to get where I needed to go, yet have a relaxing vacation as well. I would definitely recommend it to anyone backpacking europe.

-Keukenhof Gardens were absolutely stunning! I'm in love with a country that supports itself off growing flowers, what an awesome export. It smells so good. Anyhow, I would say pictures to come, but my camera died :( Soooo here's the websites with random other people's pictures if you're interested http://www.keukenhof.nl/uploads/

-Really the only downside, is the sickly sweet smell of marijuana that permeates the area. Of course, if you're in to that kind of thing...

Everybody's looking for Love

Funny Story number 1:

While driving to Amsterdam I hit a traffic jam, and since it was a beautiful day I was driving with the windows rolled down and singing to my hearts content (it was the song "Be a Man" from Mulan, yes go ahead and laugh). Well these French guys drove past and gave me an approving thumbs up with a big grin, making sure to make eye contact. Ha ha ha. Was I embarassed... perhaps. Did I just sing louder? Yes.

Ponderable number 1:

Once when listening to Parachute's song "She is Love", Cary mentioned that the song lyrics don't make sense to him. So it came on the ipod shuffle today and got me thinking... what if "her" name was actually Love. Then it would totally make sense, and this got me thinking about naming your kid Love. It would be kind of funny to always be saying "hey love, over here" or "love, you're ridiculous."

Funny Story number 2:

While in the gift shop at the Cheese and Clog Factory, there was an elderly spaniard gentlemen looking around. He was inspecting the chocolate and asked the clerk how much it cost and the clerk replied "one euro." He turns to his wife with his eyes all lit up "IT'S ONLY ONE EURO!!!!" Ha ha ha you would have thought he was a 3 year old kid who's mom is letting him pick out a candy at the grocery store. I laughed out loud.

Just a day, just an ordinary day

I've never been so happy to get out of a city as I was to get out of Brussels...

So I decided to salvage a trip despite mother earth's protests and figured I'd hit Brussels and Amsterdam in a little 3 day trip.

Downsides of travelling by yourself

1. 6 hours driving/just thinking is well... boring

2. There's no one to take pictures of you/with you

3. When you get lost in downtown brussels you panic, because there aren't lines on the street, they have like 7 way intersections, and a lack of street signs. Also cars drive in the trax lane (the aboveground metro? I don't know the official name), tell me that's not a recipe for disaster when I'm the only one looking around.

4. Hostels are much more fun with at least one other person

Reasons I haven't turned around and gone home

1. It was nice to be in a country that spoke French... and though the belgians tend to have a reputation of being rude and not willing to converse with Americans, I found it difficult to get them to speak French with me. Everyone automatically replies in English.

2. Amsterdam is beautiful

3. Although this hostel is unlike any other hostel I've seen/stayed at... ... it's kind of eclectic and interesting in it's own way. But, yeah pictures to come and/or view http://lucky.greenwave.nl/

4. Thank heavens for Mcdonald's! I left my folder of addresses and destinations at home. So i didn't have any info (address, phone number, name) of the hostel I had booked. So after mild (read major) panic I decided to stop at Mickey D's and check for wi-fi. Sure enough they had it... thank goodness. I was able to check my e-mail and all was well.

5. Borrowing my friend's GPS has been a life saver. Europe isn't the best at clear road signs. Oh and it totally beeps at you everytime there's a traffic camera ahead (europeans don't use cops, just random cameras all over to catch you speeding). Too bad I didn't figure out what the beeping meant until the 3rd or 4th time... fingers crossed the cameras weren't working ;)

They say it's your birthday

Last year I wrote a birthday post recapping the year, so I figured why not again review the most exciting developments of my life in the past year...


The top twenty three things I did/happened while I was 23



23. Pride most of the year for Tarheels winning the National Championship in 2009

22. Discovered Blistex Raspberry lemonade chapstick... amazing

21. Jo and I discovering our talent for picking locks

20. Rang in the New Year in ATL, what what (without the voice that will just sound retarded)

19. St. George/Vegas trip to watch BYU v. UNLV

18. Consume ridiculous amounts of gelato in the past 2 weeks

17. Drive the autobahn

16. Wakeboarding on Utah Lake

15. Discover pie/cupcake shakes @ Sammy's in Provo

14. Showing heather the tastier side of Provo

13. Slurpee runs to 7-11

12. Finally starting my gnome collection. They're pretty freakin' awesome. Just saying.

11. Thriller (a dance production). It was amazing. Anyone who loves dance shows should go this coming year.

10. An overall great summer full of shenanigans, Seven Peaks, "Not Tub" parties, late nights, yard prayer with boys v. girls competitions, and other fun.

9. I got my dream calling! Munch and mingle co-chair

8. Visited Paris

7. Quit Macaroni Grill! (Twice... ha ha oh jo... technically I did quit twice, but this time for good)

6. Went to London and enjoyed broadway

5. Worked for a month in germany as an on-the-road developer for Macaroni Grill

4. Spent a long weekend in Seattle

3. Moved to Germany/Living in Europe

2. Black Eyed Peas got back together!!! (ok maybe this list isn't in exact order)

1. Met Cary and convinced him to keep dating me for most of my 23rd year... now, let's see what we can do about 24 :)

I don't wanna miss a single thing...

So my tales of an American girl in Germany have kind of fallen to the wayside. I'm sad to report that the past few weeks have not been with fun adventures as I would have hoped. And thanks to Mother Nature this last week won't be quite the adventure I had originally planned. However, despite my lack of travels, there are still always interesting things to see...


1. A prescription drug vending machine. Oh how I wish I had my camera handy when I saw this fun little gem. Seriously? Seriously! Hello percocet/oxycontin addicts... welcome to germany!

2. Everything is closed on sundays. Now, I normally find it frustrating that german stores close as early as 6, and the latest are only open til 8 or 9, but it's so refreshing to see everything closed on sunday. It truly feels like the day of rest.

3. There is a cute little old man selling bouquet's of flowers at the round about. He is out there 7 days a week, in the snow, pouring rain, heat, mostly pouring rain. And it's only 5 euros for a bouquet! If I was military and had a husband here I'd make him buy me a bouquet once a week because I feel bad for the guy, and well, who doesn't love fresh flowers.



4. Easter in Germany is huge. There are of course multiple aisles in stores designated for Easter candy, but there are festivals, and easter bunnies who walk around stores handing kids candy and real eggs (gross) and easter egg hunts (with real boiled eggs, again, gross). It's pretty fun.



5. I love book stores. I've always thought if libraries were arranged like book stores everyone would read more books. They're so enticing with the fresh scent of crisp untouched pages and the pretty pictures on the covers. However, there's something to be said for a used book store. I've found one here that is a stereotypical used book store. In the basement of a shop with the low ceilings, it's a small maze of hallways covered in books crammed in every direction filling every last nook. There's just something rewarding when you find a book you want to read in one of these stores.

6. I don't know how germans afford to live here. It is so expensive. Gas is about $10/gal. Public Transportation is at least $7/day (that's about $200 a month to take the bus!). Food is ridiculous... it's about $4 for a half gallon of milk. Phones are so expensive most people use prepay phones (which are still absurd). Basically this is one pricey country.... minus...




7. Gelato! Yummm. The only item here that is a fourth of what it costs in the states. Oh how I love it. I had three scoops today, and... it's just never enough. Today's fav is Erdbeer (strawberry, a flavor I normally hate), but it actually has the flavor of a strawberry sorbet with the creaminess of ice cream. Oh it's amazing. If the lady hadn't judged me for already getting three scoops I totally would have gotten a few more...

Well, hopefully I'll make it out and about this week and report back soon. Please pray the volcano calms down enough to let me fly home next week!

When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes

Yeah, they're probably as disappointed as I am.

My sister was supposed to fly in today so we could go on a trip around Germany before I fly home. Due to unforseen volcanic activity, my plans have been foiled... yet again. I'm all sorts of disappointed. Not even gelato can fix the sadness which has fallen upon me.

Yet...

The cosmos blessed me with this small gift of condolescences. In the midst of my despair, cancelling all reservations and attempting to refund my money, I happened upon this article saying "An australian publisher is reprinting 7,000 cookbooks over a recipe for pasta with "salt and freshly ground black people."

I laughed. Really hard. Am I terrible?

I'm all lit up, must be the good life

I'm having a great day. I can't stop smiling. But rather than detail the hum drum details of my life, how bout I just share some of my favorite quotes of the week.

"Miracles are like pimples because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you would see." -Lemony Snickett

"Every night before Satan goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Elder Holland"- Overheard at BYU/Shelli's blog

"Life is what happens to you on your way to do what you planned"- Elder Wickman quoting someone famous

"Unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! (You shouldn’t be serving tea anyway.)"- Elder Holland, always telling it like it is

How was I supposed to know

Can you blame me for wanting to come back to Germany? (The view out my window)

Yet, can you blame me for coming home?

There's only one me in the galaxy, I am an endangered species

Occasionally Cary and I reach a lull in conversation. (I know *gasp*, yes sometimes I run out of things to say, shocking). When these situations arise, Cary usually asks me to tell him something he doesn't know about me. Well, as we spend at least an hour a day just talking, I'm usually left blank trying to think of what I possibly haven't told him yet. As I've paid attention the past few days here's ten things you may or may not know about me

1. I really like brussel sprouts

2. I use about 2 rolls of toilet paper a month (I blame a lot of this on runny noses)

3. My wisdom teeth are finally growing in at 23... seriously inconvenient as I no longer have a dental insurance plan

4. I would remove my moles if I could

5. I have a recent irrational fear of not only being pregnant someday, but of that pregnancy being triplets

6. I have a disease. I can't remember the name of it. It supposedly makes me prone to jaundice. Seeing as I have never had a yellowish appearance in my life, I believe the disease is fictious or the doctor mixed up the urine samples.

7. I love peeps! I want to go here

8. I am very frugal... except when it comes to gifts. If I have a good idea I'm excited about, I don't care what it costs.

9. Getting lost frustrates me more than just about anything.

10. Typically I'm completely anti workout videos, but the biggest loser DVD's are actually pretty good and I don't mind doing them.

There, I may be several thousand miles away, but don't you feel a little closer to me ;)

Tune my heart to sing thy grace

CONFERENCE WEEKEND!!!!!!!

I love conference weekend.

So much inspiration and information in such a small amount of time. It's always too much to soak in at once... that compounded by my human foibles which cause me to dose off or zone out during at least one of the talks...

But I still love conference, and even though I'm in Germany this year, I look forward to plunking down at midnight and watching it with my late night snacks. It'll be late but at least I don't have to roll out of bed early :)

Here's my favorite talk from last conference:

I love Elder Holland because he speaks with such power and assurity. This is the most powerful testimony of The Book of Mormon that I have ever heard in my life. It inspired me when I heard it, and continues to inspire me every time I read it.

Also, in my efforts to become more spiritually prepared for general conference I've been reading other inspirational talks and scriptures. Though not a general conference talk, or from an apostle of the Lord, this BYU Professor spoke on avoiding those things in life that counterfeit happiness. It's a great talk. It's totally worth your time.

She's funny, and I appreciate anyone who can tastefully blend humor and the gospel.

Finally,

my new mantra that I read on my cousin, Emily's, blog

"Spirituality yields two fruits.

The first is INSPIRATION to

know what to do.

The second is POWER, or the

CAPACITY to

do it."

-Richard G. Scott, Apostle of the Lord

But not a real green dress, that's cruel

So April Fool's isn't such a great holiday once you're an adult.... unless you wait tables.

I found it particularly amusing this year to tell people that we no longer provide boxes to take people's food home because we are "going green" and trying to be more environmentally friendly as a company. Ha ha you should see people's eyes get big as they panic and feel the weight of having to finish their meal or throw it away.

Of course, then i'd tell them I was just kidding. But it was fun for a few seconds anyhow.

All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better

After a particularly toxic day at work, I have complainer's remorse. Though i would like to blame part of this on the job and environment in which I work... upon reading a friend's blog, I decided I needed a little attitutde of gratitude refresher... here goes

I am grateful for

Spring
Warm Weather
good friends

a clean house
a boyfriend who tells me I'm gorgeous
freckles
Institute (I know, don't die from shock, I actually go sometimes ;)
Ice Cream

Internet
My breakast bagel sandwiches



hard workouts
Grey's Anatomy (especially this season)
....

and...

this video

You wear nothing but you wear it so well

So in all my years spent in a swimsuit (interpret... A LOT), I've concluded that it is an amazing swimsuit when it can leave you feeling confident and hot despite your lack of clothing. Unfortunately, this is not true of all suits (see triangle top bikinis), and thus begins my quest for the perfect suit each spring. I love swimming, I love the pool and even more than that I love the beach (despite my absence in recent years). Though in more recent years, I have been easily converted to the convenience of the two piece swimsuits and flattering tankini's, I stumbled upon this suit.



I like it. A lot.

I don't like it's price.

Question: How much is too much for a swimsuit? How much would you pay for this suit? How much would you pay for this suit if you were me (for some of you the fact that I'm still single, child-less, not in school, etc. might affect your answer for me)?

It's a secret no one tells

There's nothing like a drive to clear your mind. No, there's nothing like a drive on a cool spring night with some good music to clear your mind. No wait, there's nothing like a drive on a cool spring night, good music, no speed limit and no stop signs or stop light to really clear your mind.

I love driving and I especially love driving in Germany. That is all.

True, it may seem like a stretch

Sometimes, Cary and I have funny conversations. We have a tendency to go back to the same two arguments on a regular basis.

The first argument being Cary loves dogs and I hate dogs, with both of us trying to win eachother over to the other's side. (It's probably a lost cause, but shhh don't tell him I admitted that).

The second argument being Cary thinks girls are more expensive than boys and I disagree, thus constantly trying to disprove this theory, mostly by proving that he is more expensive than me. Sadly, one point for him, as I recently realized that bathrooms all over europe require change to use them. This is clearly a hateful discrimination against women, since we are the civilized gender who don't feel the need to relieve ourselves anywhere and everywhere just because we can. (Don't try to argue that we can't! See this post.)

Anyhow, I digress. The point of the post being our arguments are entertaining because we are both ridiculous. Allow me to illustrate our most recent discussion...

While talking on skype, Cary states that he likes my brown eyes (which you can't even see on skype), which leads to a discussion of brown vs. blue eyes. He then informs me that blue eyes are actually a genetic mutation that can be linked back to one person? How science has tracked a mutation all the way back before DNA tracking is beyond me (and when questioned, Cary just says "don't question science, carla" (ha ha sarcastically of course, don't go on a rant about him believing everything scientific)). Anyhow all of this leads to a discussion of why we have the eye color we have, how genes are passed to your kids, recessive vs. dominant,... blah blah blah....

>>>enter best part of convo<<<
Carla: Basically blue eyes are hot because they're rare.
Cary: No, they're not.
Carla: Yeah, they are. Just think about it. Asians, Africans, South American's all have brown eyes. Then there's all the caucasians with brown eyes. It's like 90% of the world population has brown eyes! (Of course I totally pulled this number out of thin air, but it sounded good...)
Cary: You totally just made that number up. It is not 90% (followed by the eyeroll.) I'm gonna google it.
Carla: (in my head: ha ha crap he totally called my bluff... why am I such a bad liar?) Fine. Look it up.
Cary: (opens first sight) are you kidding me!
Carla: Wait what!?!?! It says 90%? Ha ha ha ha I was so right. Bahaha that's hilarious. I totally just pulled that number out of thin air. That's right. I can't believe you ever even question me.
Cary: Whatever. You're ridiculous (as he continues looking for contradicting research).

Nevermind that I totally admitted that I lied, I was right none the less, and that my friends is what it's all about!

I'll show you that French joie de vivre!

Parlez vous francais?

Nope, well neither do I, so good thing this review of Paris is in English.

My Paris Top Ten (But in no particular order)

1. The ICE (german TGV) train is awesome. Why wouldn't anyone want to get somewhere twice as fast as other transportation. And it really does look like you're moving faster from within the train. Also, unlike the airport, it's nice to be dropped right at one of the most popular stations in central Paris so you can hop right on the Metro and go where you need to go.



2. The european tradition of Crepes and Nutella. So good! They have special crepe makers (pictured below) which make amazing crepes. The only problem is that nutella has a way of sparking thirst which leads me to my ongoing rant about europe's tyrannical monopoly on our basic needs as humans. I mean what next europe? Oh you're charging me 5 euros to breathe your oxygen... ok, sure, I love to pay ridiculous fees just because I can.



Seriously, it's called a water fountain. How about we invest in some.



3. The Louvre. Ok, it's no secret I'm not much for Art Museum's so why would I go to one of the most famous Art Museums in the world. Well, because that's what you do. Especially if you want to claim you've personally seen the mona lisa.

Apparently I don't care too much about that claim. (I wouldn't wait in line for a direct shot)



This statue was my favorite.



Wanna rub the lucky toe ;) C'mon I know you do.



Ok, feet gross you out. How about the baby toe? Nobody minds baby toes. It's lucky....



4. Le Metropolitain. The metro in paris is easy to use despite the language barrier. True there is kind of a stench, and it's the most crowded metro I've used, but easy none the less. Best part, if you go to the metro station that is by Ikea, it's decorated and decked out with Ikea couches for you to relax while you wait for your ride!





5. Like most undergrounds, subways, metros, there are musicians sharing their talents with weary travelers, and paris has a group of about 15 students/professors called Classique Metropolitain who have a mini orchestra playing in the metro. Their purpose is to spread awareness of classical music to those who may not otherwise be exposed. I must admit they were amazing!

This also got me wondering how I should pitch a reality tv show that's a Metro Battle of the Bands so to speak. We can travel the world finding the most talent in diffferent cities metro stations. It'd be a world wide reality tv show to prove which city has better underground music. We could call it "So you think you make tips?," "Amazing Cover Artist," "The Musician," or "Musician: Paris Underground."

Ha ha, no I'm serious. How do I go about pitching this? I would love to travel and it's like survivor meets amazing race meets so you think you can dance.

6. The famous traffic circle around the Arc de Triomphe. The pictures don't do it justice. But it's pretty much a free for all. There are rules to follow, but it would be gracious to call it organized chaos.



7. The Eiffel Tower. It just didn't seem right to come live in europe and not see the eiffel tower. It's huge! It is pretty amazing to see in person. All the guys trying to sell you cheap eiffel tower trinkets get really old though.



8. The ability to walk through Paris. Many of the major sites are extremely close together. It was a gorgeous day and it's a gorgeous city with the walkways lined with trees and old, elaborate buildings all around you. There are parks every mile or so and fountains with ducks. Now if only there were some gelato stands...

9. Champs Elysees.Paris' Magnificient Mile. Upscale shopping, fancy restaurants, and tons of pedestrians. Definitely a must if you are looking for the iconic Paris shopping experience.

10. Cathedral of Notre Dame. You can't help but find yourself singing "God help the outcasts, hungry from birth..." Haha oh how deeply ingrained disney is. Seriously though, the Cathedral is beautiful. I am a little tired of the Cathedrals, but this and Westminster Abbey are my favorites. I just wish the line hadn't been so long to see the Gargoyles :( Oh, well if I ever make it back to Paris that's top on my to-do list.




(this photo wasn't taken by me, next time i'll have my own bonafied gargoyle pictures)

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

I am not a cry-er.

I am not a very emotional girl. Some may call me heartless, i prefer to think of it as not letting my hormones get the better of me.

I had a meltdown at work tonight.

I hate my job some days. I hate that I had enough horrible tables to lead to a meltdown. I hate that people try to tear down their server over something as simple as food. I hate that after a point I take it personally. I hate that I built up walls to keep in the emotions, and that a fellow server asking me if I was ok (at the end of the night) lead to me losing control of my tear ducts.

I hate that I have no friends here to make me forget this night ever happened.

"Bad Day" -Fuel

Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me off and puts me on

And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
Left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

I hate everyone

Sometimes this song just captures how I feel that day...

Some stupid chick in the checkout line
Was paying for beer with nickels and dimes
And some old man who clipped coupons
Had argued whenever they wouldn't take one
All I wanted to was buy some cigarettes
But I couldn't take it anymore so I left

I hate everyone (4x)

....edit....

All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

I bet you think I'm kidding
But I promise you it's true
I hate most everybody
But most of all I hate
Oh, I hate you

All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
And the people in the east, I hate you all
And the people I hate least, I hate you all
And the people in the west, I hate you all
And the people I like best, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all
-Get, Set, Go

***No, i'm not depressed, or really filled with hate, or even this dramatic... it was just a hard day, one day, so no need for your cheer up comments***

That's just the way it is

Fast food in Germany.

So I was craving a burger. You're all judging me right now, but it's true. And I didn't want some overpriced(yeah, 10-12 bucks everyone) supposedly gourmet burger on base, I just wanted a cheap, fatty yet delicious fast food burger. So after a week and a half, I succumbed and frequented my local off base chain (there is a BK on base, but it closes at 9... don't get me started).

Fast food in germany... equals so much better. As tim once said "It actually looks like the pictures." This makes me wonder, WHY? I mean, these are American Brands. American based restaurants. Doesn't it make more sense for us to be the one's doing it right?

Eh, the truth is though, I'm not willing to trade my dollar menu for quality control... it is just fast food after all.

I used to think life had a plan for me, until I realized life had to be planned by me

I have discovered my new calling in life!

Wait for it, wait for it....

Yeah, you can just feel the excitement building.

I know.

It's gonna be good.

Carla has finally figured out what that elusive "real job" is supposed to be.

ta du ta da!!!!!! Drumroll.....

An Air Force Network radio personality!

What, your face just dropped? Not excitiing? Seriously? You're kidding right? How can you not be as excited as I am?... Ok, let me expound.

Welcome to AFN. There is absolutely no limit to the cheesyness of this network. And why, because they have a captive audience. It is the only english channel for about 80,000 Americans. It posts the news, the exchange rates, military news you can't get on the internet, closings on the base, weather and the military sports teams competitions and outcomes.

Allow me to illustrate some of the segments:

"Soaring through another set of great music, AFN the eagle, serving America's Best" (don't get offended that you're clearly not America's Best because you listen to some other radio station)

"Today there is traffic on the autobahn (seriously?)... The dollar got a little stronger, YAY! It's now .722 to the euro as opposed to yesterdays .721 (yup only a difference when spending thousands of dollars). Also it looks like it might rain today (it rains everyday in Germany). Well that's all for our news, how bout a little nickelback for you..."

They do this bit over then play a single song, and repeat. Yup, the same ridiculous sort of content followed by one, i repeat one song.

Honestly, not only could I do this job. I could do it well. I think I could be infinitely more entertaining, play better music, and have people listen to the station out of desire not just lack of options.

What do you think?
1. Is my ego in need of deflating?
2. Would you host an opposing radio station, in the spirit of capitalism?
3. Would you be a guest on my radio show?
4. Would you veto Nickelback from the radio if you were a dj?


**Complete side note: The title lead me to discover that realize and realise are the same word, only American's use z and other english speaking countries use s. It's very similar to color v. colour. Fascinating, eh? What can I say, we Americans like to be different.**

Trying to find exactly what I miss

I'm currently reading Spencer W. Kimball's "Faith Precedes the Miracle." I enjoy studying the gospel through the prophets because I often find it is easier to understand. This book uses almost constant scriptural reference and although I have read the same scriptures before and do understand their intent I appreciate the insights of our past prophet.

In reading prophets teachings however, I sometimes feel my beliefs, the modern world, and their statements conflict. Occasionally, I struggle to understand and I'm not sure if it's my own stubborn, opinionated approach to life, or if there might be justice in my thinking.

Let me highlight my current hangup for the sake of receiving any insights those who stumble upon my blog might care to divulge.

It's from the chapter, John and Mary, Beginning Life Together. First conflict: p 128 discusses the error young women make in preparing for a career that they will not follow. He specifically mentions languages, mathematics and business. He continues to discuss the need for studies relating to homemaking and child-rearing. Although I agree that understanding children, and the ability to teach and cook will make motherhood (a role I do wish to someday achieve) much easier, I don't understand the logic behind criticizing these other degrees. We can't all major in Marriage and Family Relations! And what a sad world it would be if we did. I make the argument that though some mothers are amazing mothers because they tell great stories and cook and sew; are not other mothers amazing because they can instill in their young children a sense of entrepeneurship and the concepts necessary to go on and start successful businesses. Some mothers make homemade bread and some mothers buy their bread. Must we be so quick to judge one mother over the other. Is that not the great understanding of our Heavenly Father to allow all different women to be mothers, each with their different skills and talents to raise children with these varying talents? And what about those women who will not be blessed to have children? Should they also deny their talents in "languages and mathematics and business?" As a young women today, how is one to know that you will not be called upon to support yourself, and or a family? Heaven forbid, I were to get married and my husband pass away, I will wish I was a successful business woman with her MBA and the skills necessary to provide for my family with a job that only requires me to be gone minimal hours a week.

Another paragraph that got me, p 129 "You wouldn't want to work outside the home... broken homes resulting when women leave their posts at home. You will remain at home... and when John comes home tired, you will be fresh and pleasant." Ok, really. As you know, if you're actually my friend, I am a bit of a work-aholic. I love working. And although I would love the opportunity to stay home with my children, part of me thinks that I would still enjoy a few hours working when I'm a mom (paid or volunteer). AND, the whole bit about being fresh and pleasant when the hubby comes home tired sounds like a load of bull to me. Ok, I've tended children and I've worked 12 hour shifts waiting tables and we've all heard me complain about waiting but seriously, taking care of kids is SOOOO much more tiring. Kids require infinite patience and even more energy! I will try to look good and keep my house nice, so that my husband will want to come home... but to think that he'll be tired and I won't because I've "just been at home all day" is the biggest lie I've ever heard.

I don't want to be misunderstood as disagreeing with the basic principles of the church or saying that the prophets are wrong. I believe that males and females are inherently different with individual roles. I also believe that it is important for a mother to raise her children. I just struggle to fit these ideals into my life in the world today. Am I supposed to wait around sewing and cooking until I find a husband and have children? Should I not be so hard on myself for not working in my field and gaining work experience, because I wish to someday raise children? Is it valid to argue that perhaps the life we live is different than the life some of our prophets who preached these doctrines lived? I mean we face different challenges than even our parents twenty years ago, and our children yet will face new challenges. We live in a world that changes on a daily basis, and though gospel principles do not change, I believe that our approach to effectively living those principles might require us to adapt.

Many of those who read this blog are talented, college educated mothers whom I respect to the utmost, brilliant career women working on furthering their education, or students diligently studying their field of interest (shelli just finish stats!). What do you think? Have you read this book? What are your thoughts relating to the Church's views on women's roles?

To end on a less serious note, there was a passage that just made me happy. Allow me to share: "There has grown up a deplorable exploitation of young women in queen contests. Practically every school, industry, political subdivision, celebration, and class must have a queen. There are queens for every vegetable, fruit, farm product, until it is ludicrous." Anyhow, he continues for two pages criticizing beauty pageants which just makes me laugh. Oh Utah and your beauty pageants...



I think I could win a title ;)

Look at this photograph, everytime I do it makes me laugh

I heard this line (yes, I do listen to Nickelback, and no I will not apologize) and had to show my embarassing photos.



Sometimes, I think it's funny to put the whole orange in your mouth at once.



This is me Preggers! (Or prepping to be Juno for halloween)

Can't forget we only get what we give

As previously devised, I'm breaking my info into seperate posts. Read further if you missed post 1 and 2 and 3.

Last Month in Review, Post 4: German Discoveries (as defined in a previous post, these discoveries are not necessarily German, though they may be, more accurately is that I discovered them whilst in Germany).

1. Belgian truffles are the best. I mean melt in your mouth, delicate blends of sweet and bitter that leave you wondering what hit you and aching for more. Never understood addiction? Try a truffle.



2. I don't get to eat many German foods since I live near a base, and I'm American (therefore I cook like an American), but I tried currywurst. It was alright, but I'd pick a döner over it any day.

3. German windows are sweet! You can turn the handle up to just vent the window open from the top (the bottom is still attached), or you can turn the handle down to completely open the window (the side is still attached). I suppose it's nothing special, but I like them. Although no window screens won't be so pleasant come mosquito season.




4. The Germans believe in steam mops... and now, so do I. Awesome! I used this one called the Maxx clean steam mop. I love it! I wish I could take it home with me. Yes, I am praising cleaning supplies on my blog, don't judge. What's that scripture verse... Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Ha ha ok I don't think that's a verse but whatever.

5. At German parades they give out cups of beer. Sorry kids, no candy... we prefer depressants over stimulants.

6. I really enjoy biking to get where I need to go. I especially enjoy it when the weather is nice. It is not so much fun to bike when it is snowing. The other night I was minding my own business, biking home from work and the blue lights start flashing. The polizei pull up beside me and start screaming at me in German. I meekly reply I'm sorry I don't speak German, just English. They keep yelling in German, and then finally "Dangerous! Dangerous!" I said sorry, they muttered stuff and then left. Well, I think I'm aware that it is "dangerous!", but I had to get home. Geez, they could have offered me a ride if it's soooo dangerous.

7. Speaking of snow. I'm tired of it. Worst winter in 30 years here in Ramstein, Germany. I wish it would stop. But then I remembered sno-creme. Did anyone else make this as a kid? I'd go out and collect a bunch of fresh snow (before it was tainted (yellow) by some animal, or walked on by some child (said with disgust... like who walks on snow ;)) Anyhow, then you add milk, sugar and vanilla to the snow and mix. I think that was all and it made this milk shake slush something that I used to think was so good. Funny memory to randomly come back, and I have an inkling that I'm the only kid weird enough to have done this? Confirm or deny?



8. While on facebook lately, there's always this ad to make "a love child" and combine your features with someone else's to see what your child would look like. The pictures are hilarious (see below) and it's so tempting. I wish you didn't have to pay for it.

Don't give up, you got a reason to live

As previously devised, I'm breaking my info into seperate posts. Read further if you missed post 1 and 2.

Last Month in Review, Post 3: The Restaurant Life

Since I know you're all dying to know all about waiting tables in germany (and so Cary doesn't have to suffer through my endless drabble on this topic) I bring to you the difference between Mac Grill stateside, and the MacGreasy in Germany!

Here's the break down:

Gorgeous Restaurant! And for some reason that just makes it more fun to work in. However, it also means that I have to sweep those beautiful wood floors, which is not so fun.

I get paid hourly! Yeah, yeah, i got paid hourly in the states, but $2.13 an hour doesn't count as pay when it's all taken in taxes and every check is void. Here it's actually a sizeable sum.

Hourly pay affects Tips :( People think that because it is europe and because we get a pay, they only need to tip 10% or not tip at all. I'm sorry, are you receiving the same crappy service you get in German restaurants? Do I act inconvenienced by your visit to my restaurant? Do you get anything other than your every whim satisfied whilst sitting in my section? That's right. You get American service, from Carla (meaning even better than necessary service). You always have a full drink (refills free of charge), your food is hot, or cold, or whichever modified way you require it, you get a smile, regular visits, and I even clean up after your little brat that you let empty every single sugar packet! So TIP like an american... Capiche?

Sorry about the rant, but yeah lots of peeps tip 10%, which sucks... however, thanks to the servicemen of my country, wink wink, I average good tips! Gotta love those tables of single guys!

It is so much busier than in the states. Due to a lack of options,(chili's, a crappy burger place, or the Mac-a-tuna) we are regularly on a wait. I also usually have a 5 table section (9 tables last saturday, yikes) and I usually have at least $800 in sales... which when you figure somewhere between ten to twenty percent tips, it works out pretty well.

The cooks here suck. Nothing against my German friends in general, but most of the cooks are German and there's a very different work ethic. They generally do not understand terms such as hurry, rush, on the fly, today, and the like. They figure people will get the food when they feel like making it. However, 40 minutes to make a fettucine alfredo doesn't exactly fit into the American service I described before and this sometimes creates a lot of stress where I'm concerned.

Also on the slow end are the bussers. Oh wait, yes, that's correct we have bussers. And yes I do bus all my own tables. The bussers here are worthless, but I still owe them 3% of my sales at the end of the night. Back home we as servers choose how much we tip out the bussers. This system can hurt the bussers because there are stingy servers; yet, mandating tip out bites because there's no incentive for the bussers to do anything, and it can be anywhere from 20 to 35% of your tips, which bites.

The fellow servers here are definitely different. The majority smoke, got married before age 20, have several children, and look about 18. There's a server who works here with his fiance and girlfriend. The servers cuss in, at, and around tables, and then hit up the strip clubs and brothels after work or drink beer until 6 in the morning. I suppose this isn't too different than most restaurants, but it's interesting to come back to this setting after serving in Provo, Utah for so long. Don't get me wrong, I still work with some great people... just different.

I don't have a car. This kinda sucks. I bike occasionally, but people are also really nice about giving rides to and from work. Everybody carpools here and doesn't seem to make a big deal out of it.

Overall, it's just a job. I enjoy it because I get to do what I'm good at, I stay busy, and I generally make as much money as I want to put effort into it. I don't think I'm necessarily making life long friends, but it's not exactly the bonding scene that Provo Macshack is either. It'll do for now, but I'm looking to get out of the restaurant industry when I get back.... if you know of any positions, ideas, suggestions... let me know!

Don't let go, you got the music in you

As previously devised, I'm breaking my info into seperate posts. Read further if you missed post 1.

Last Month in Review, Post 2: Metz, France

This was a short trip, but a fun first taste of France.

-Capri's worn with stockings to brave the winter cold. Awesome fashion statement. Really. C'mon, you don't want to try it? For heaven's sake, why not?

-Like luxembourg, I appreciate that I can gather bits and pieces with my meager french from all those years in high school.

-We ate at Le Monte Cristo. The waiter didn't speak a lick of english, which actually proved to be rather difficult and our first complete lack of verbal communication in Europe (us Americans always expect to run into english speakers... perhaps because we usually do). However, the waiter was really nice and we employed excellent universal sign language to acquire a delicious meal.

-Cora: the French Wal-Mart. This store is like the highlight for Americans all over Europe. Germans don't believe in convenience and only taking one trip once a week to obtain all your shopping needs. The funniest part to me, is that at least half of the brands are American. (And we wonder why they don't like us... it's really just brand envy)



-Le Patisserie and the chocolate shops are everything you ever imagined. Delicious rows of delectable little morsels waiting to taunt your tastebuds for only 3 euros a bite. Yeah, that's right 3 euros (5 bucks) a bite. So worth it.

We've got the dreamer's disease

Ok, due to a three week absence from blogging I'm going to break my post into 4 segments to make it more digestable and favorable to your palate, a.k.a. nobody reads a post that's too long.

Last Month in Review, Post 1: London

(I'll keep this like the Atlanta review... top ten and tidbits)

1. Broadway Shows! I got to see Les Miserable and The Lion King. Both were amazing! I enjoyed Les Mis more for the music, but The Lion King's set design was breathtaking.





2. Crossiants- the breakfast of choice in London. Yeah, they are good. Especially the chocolate ones. However, I'm not sure I can convert to the crossiant a day diet.



3. My first hostel experience. This was a great experience. The hostel we stayed at was really nice. It's like a dorm room with two bunk beds, lockers for 4 and a small (very small) bathroom. It's clean and just has basic sheets. So you bring your own towel and toiletries. It reminded me a lot of EFY/Youth conference where we stayed in dorms. It would have been perfect; however, I unfortunately was sick my second day in London, and flu like symptoms need to be nursed with a fluffy comforter and basic cable. **Note to self: when getting sick, hostel is one of the least favorable locations**



4. The Underground is easy and the most affordable travel option in London. Also they advertise these magical gnome gummies (two of my loves smooshed into one!), alas I never found these magical gummies though.



5. Portobello Road. (Famously depicted in the movie Notting hill) A market that takes up several miles on the street, there are many different shops as well as street vendors. They sell everything from antiques, jewelry, shoes, food, bikes, paintings, clothing, souvenirs... you name it, they probably sell it.





6. Castle tours are more enjoyable than the actual castle. Or perhaps I am just a sucker for the Beefeater's cliche jokes...





7. London has lots of free museums, which when you're spending as much as you are on everything else, is a pleasant bonus. I loved the Natural History Museum! Definitely worth your time if you're headed to London.

8. Traveling in cold, winter months is a bit of a downer. It's not so bad if you stay well bundled... however, this doesn't make for good pictures. On the bright side, there's a lot less tourists, some activities are cheaper, and you don't have to worry about the sunburn...

9. Overall, London is a more expensive place to visit (think NYC) but it's a lot of fun, and you can definitely adapt the trip to meet your budget. It was fun to have a balance of the regular tourist trap sites as well as other attractions. And Broadway is a must... really what better way to spend an evening?

... Oh are you waiting for No. 10? Right, I suppose I said this was a top ten list... eh, how about just ending with some fav. pictures?