You're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

So Bro. Judd gave some dating advice from the pulpit last sunday, and it was not only wise and inspired, but entertaining enough that I feel the need to share. 

First he stands up and says that the boys need to listen up. He says "Boys, you only need 3 things in a girl. First, find a girl who is more spiritual than you. Turn to your right. Yeah, every girl you see is more spiritual than you. Second, find a girl who is more intelligent than you. Turn to your left. Yeah, she's smarter than you too. Finally, find a girl who is better looking than you are. I don't even need to address that."

Then once the laughing dies down, he says "Ladies, listen up, LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. No guy is going to be perfect. He's not going to be the man you want him to be until he's been married to you for 25 years. So just find yourself a guy who honors his priesthood and you'll do ok."

Ha ha, I love my ward. So there ya go, straight from the bishopric's mouth. I'll let you know how this new pearl of wisdom ends up fitting into my repertoire.

I've got the gift of one liners...

Monday, May 4, 2009

I work. A lot. Some might call me a workaholic. At any rate, though many say that my work stories are funny, I feel that my families eyes tend to glaze over every time I tell them, so I'll share my random ponderings of the day.

(***WARNING: Insights into Carla's psyche are about to be divulged. It might be scary, mostly interesting, just consider yourself warned.***)

While swimming this morning, I got to thinking that it would be kind of hilarious to dump a shark into a pool with unsuspecting swimmers (ha ha mostly of the senior citizen variety). I pondered my own reaction to finding a shark in the pool. I imagine I would be kind of terrified, but what if you breed sharks to be friendly like dolphins, so you could swim with them? Could you breed sharks to be friendly? Alas, I suppose it doesn't matter because the obscene amount of chlorine in the pool would surely kill any living creature (I've decided that the globules of fat buildup distributed through out my body, thanks to macrackaroni grill are the only thing saving me from imminent chlorine poisioning.).

Next thought, while shaving I got to considering the lengths which women will go to in order to remove unwanted hair. We have all sorts of products from razors to Nair to various cremes and then cold and hot waxes. Among my friends, each and every method has been tried and it pretty much boils down to different strokes for different folks. But here's my question, how come you never hear about guy's doing anything but shaving? I don't see why a guy couldn't wax his face (girls do their eyebrows) or use Nair (they have face cream)? I'm curious if it's just social norms, or if a guy has tried some other method, or if someone is willing to volunteer and then post on this blog about his experience (I might possibly love you forever, and then proceed to talk about you in every conversation for the next two weeks). 

Hmmm... anyhow, now I'm lost in more thoughts and can't remember my other ponderings. Maybe next time. 

Oh and Jamie, Jo and Tyrone think that I am funny, so I figured I'd share my quote of the week. (Context: I'm getting ready to go to the gym Wednesday night (I've already had swimteam in the morning, and rollerblading that afternoon)) 

Jo: "What are you doing? You're not going to the gym again? You've already worked out 3 hours today!!!"
Carla: "Yes, (eye roll), because some day a boy is going to come and sweep me off my feet, and I need to be light enough to be swept! (smirk)"