When I'm wiser and I'm older

When I get to the pearly gates, my first question:

Why will my babies sleep in my arms while I'm standing perfectly still, but as soon as I sit down they wake up??? Seriously, they're in the same position, is there some slight change in the force of gravity on their tiny bodies or what?

Followed by:

Why can babies laugh in their sleep long before they can laugh while awake? Is their slumber that much more amusing? Are they also already having complete conversations in their sleep? I think we need to tap into newborns dreams.

Who's got your money, money

In the event of Carla and Cary's untimely demise:

(A little background: we have been miserably sick for the last 6 days. Due to lack of proper health insurance we have resorted to the ever so helpful webmd to diagnose us. It has been determined that we are either suffering from West Nile viruse, bronchitis, or the common cold. In case, we are not just a bunch of babies who can't handle a sniffle, and the wretched mosquito's have infected us with their deadly disease... i decided it would put my mind at ease to draft a "not technically" legal will.)

So, we have decided that our belongings will be dispersed as so:

-Samsung 32" LCD TV- Carla's Parents
-Incredible comfy tan couches- Also carla's parents
-Cary's computer- Eldest nephew, Emerson
-Ice Cream Maker- Joanna Johnson, best friend and roommate
-Ipod touch- Kim, cause she'll know what to do with my sweet jams
-My one and only Knife- Art, he appreciates good knives
-My car- Dad, I know how much he loves the alarm
-Rice Cooker- Emily, because her not having a rice cooker is like the rest of the world not having a microwave
-Heather and Tim- My gnomes... I trust they will take care of them.
-Our sweet grill- Jeremy, he has a balcony
-Bookshelf and books- Jamie, because an english major can never have too many books, but can have too many books to stack in corners thus needing a bookshelf

To all my devoted blog readers, I don't really have much, but you are welcome to put in dibs for whatever you like. For Cary's family (i didn't forget them... they just already have nice tv's and such), we would like to disperse our monies among the nieces and nephews evenly. Unless, in the likely event that it is hardly worth going to the bank to split up the sum, we allow the parents to just take the children out for extremely large ice cream sundaes.