Just a man and his will to survive

Parenting is like psychological warfare

meets advanced torture techniques.

where the enemy employs all the best tactics.

think about it...

those big cute eyes

then BAM loud shrieking noises for no reason for hours on end

a cuddly hug with chubby little fingers wrapped around yours

and BAM bodily fluids coming out of all potential openings all over you

"mom, i want to go to the store with you!"

next thing you know "WAAAAAAAAA, NOOOOOO, GO HOMEEEEEEE" (lying on the disgusting floor)

oh and the sleep deprivation... (just notice when most of my blog posts occur)

Yes, parenting can be wonderful, and your kids are cute and you love them more than anything you've ever loved before--but, if you honestly try to tell me you've never thought the CIA directors developed all their means of extracting info from their harrowing experiences as parents...

well, I won't believe you.

(If you can't tell... today was a parenting fail all around. I lost the battle.
But I'm determined to win the war!
Perhaps I should watch some more Cosby Show and get some expert tactics)

I sure would like some sweet company

I'm gonna say what no mom who blogs ever says...

Some days the kiddos drive me absolutely crazy! 

Some days are filled with no sleeping newborn and a toddler who screams and cries and tests every boundary and word you say. Those days are tough and it can be easy to lose sight of the gift it is to be these kiddos mom. 

Our week started off a bit in that manner, the last two days however, my kids are perfect. My boy smiled and smiled some more at me, and boy does he have the best smile in the world. He's also started to get his baby chub and look a little less like an old man!

And my zo, just keeps making me laugh. Oh I don't know what I'd do without her! She sure makes the tough newborn days a lot easier to get through. 

My favorite moments this week include:

Everytime she pulls out a "mom" book (i.e. a book with just words and no pictures) she thinks it's a hymn book and starts singing "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam." (maybe I should read more often so she knows there's other books without pictures)

Her favorite activity this week is calling people. She gets especially excited when they don't pick up and she gets to leave a voicemail. 

She named her stuffed pig Penguin. It's really confusing people, but it is a funny looking pig that is a similar shape to a penguin, so it kinda makes sense. 

 

I got the eye of a tiger, fighter

(Reading the DVD cases since I said she couldn't watch the shows)

Lessons from a week unplugged:

1. Zoey is happier. I really thought it would be hard for her to give up watching her shows, but she only asked once all week to watch something. She woke up happier and generally behaved better throughout the day, I think because she loves having our undivided attention. (I started to realize I acted the same, and was pretty excited to get Cary's undivided attention in the evenings--like mother like daughter.)

2. It was brutal for me. Though I was pleasantly surprised at the better behavior from Zoey, that didn't make it any easier to get cleaning, cooking, or even just showering done. 

3. The art of bribery is alive and well. The least painful way to get some things done around here is to let Zoey watch some tv in exchange for what I need/want (i.e. When needing to comb her hair, getting her to sit is possible if you offer tv time. Last week just turned into me offering treats instead of tv. So ya know, rot her brain or encourage poor eating habits... I'm not sure how much I improved.)

4. A 1 year old is pretty capable of entertaining themselves. Zoey did really well with reading her books and doing puzzles when I had to feed Tucker.

5. A 1 year old isn't very capable of entertaining themselves. Her attention can only be held by puzzles/books/her toys for so much time each day which created a lot of pressure to go and do something to occupy our morning hours. Although I often try to plan a fun activity for Zoey each day, knowing I had to was challenging some days when balancing Tucker's needs and my sleep deprivation. 

6. Tv time makes getting ready possible. Showering or even just combing my hair and applying a touch of make up was ridiculously hard without something to hold Zoey's attention. Packing a lunch/supplies, unloading groceries, and cooking were also difficult and almost broke my conviction to limit screen time just about every day.

7. I felt really uninformed. I like knowing when hurricanes are forming and heading my way, or the government is in shutdown and our good for nothing representatives are not making any progress in getting it back up and running. These things are hard to know when you don't use tv, phones, or computers.

The take away: Generally, we're better off without the screen time and plan to keep it limited. However, there are certain circumstances in which it is a lifesaver and I fully plan to embrace it because, hey, I was born in the 20th century for a reason, right? 

We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

Recently, I was out in public with both kids and I went into a public restroom to change Tucker's diaper (props to me for actually finding the restroom... at this age it'd be so much easier to just change his diaper on the floor and move on, but people tend to frown on that).

Tucker was crying as I changed his diaper because he'd just woken up and was hungry. A lady comes up to me as I finish changing his diaper and says "I can see that you're a new mom, but you know- babies cry for a reason, and you need to figure out what that reason is."

Ummm. Really. 

Babies cry for a reason?

Mind blown. 

Then I read this article Dear Parents you need to control your kids, sincerely non parents.

I laughed. Especially when he moved on to the more annoying- parents of grown children who criticize parents (see above scenario). 

But then I also realized I'm guilty as charged. I see other parents with children who throw things at them, or have a yelling match, or are generally acting like horrible brats and judge the parents. I take these opportunities to observe behaviors, parent and child, around me and make mental notes of things I do and don't like, and things I plan to do or not do. And though this is probably just part of figuring out parenting in an attempt to avoid trying every parenting technique... we (I) can be a little kinder. 

How often have I wished someone would help me rather than stare? Or lost my cool after a particularly challenging day? Or been mortified at my child's behavior in public? 

Here's to trying a little harder to be a little better...

So wake me up when it's all over

I have a confession.

I let television co-parent.

I attempt to make myself feel better with whisperings of "you don't let her play on a computer, ipad or phone," "it's pbs-it's educational," "she's expanding her language skills watching," "maybe sesame street can teach her the alphabet faster than I can"

I wasn't always this parent.

There was a time we never turned on the tv. On the occassion I did attempt to get something done by letting Zoey watch tv, it bought me a meager 2 or 3 minutes. Then we discovered this super obnoxious baby music video, and suddenly I had my 20 minute window to shower, get dressed and perhaps clean up the kitchen.

And then she discovered Tangled.

 Ahhh, something enjoyable for me as well 

(I think this fueled my problem). 

Tangled became somewhat of a lifesaver during the particularly sick days of pregnancy and those long rainy days that never seemed to end in June/beg of July. 

(Do you remember those? Yeah the summer ended fabulously--but the beginning of summer was rainy and dreary and hardly screamed "let's go to the park"!)

Fast forward... Tucker was born and I'm at a complete loss.

 How am I supposed to take care of a newborn (newborns are supppperrr needy) and my rambunctious 1 year old, who left unattended (meaning parental figure is predisposed) turns the furniture into a jungle gym, colors on walls, and other mischievousness?

We started watching shows pretty much every morning to wake up and every feeding, and some nights just for fun. 

That is a lot of tv. For anyone. But especially for a 1 year old. 

Enter this article, 8 Ways Screens Are Ruining Your Family's Life

(I know, I know. Huffington Post. But it was a provocative read)

So we have embarked on a screen free week. 

Almost.

I'm allowed "essential phone time" (gps, messaging, calendar) and screen time during Tucker feedings in the middle of the night--because otherwise I get really angry that I'm up for hours when I'm exhausted/it's really boring to just sit for an hour in the middle of the night awake.

And now this post is just too long... 

check back to see what I'm learning.

Hey sugar show me all your love

It's 10:30 am.

*Read: 4.5 hours since I should have gotten out of bed with baby*

I can't be trusted with a computer on a Saturday morning.

(Thanks for the lazy morning Cary)

Right here waiting for you

So I've never been one to worry about dying.
(quite the opening line, eh...)

I have strong religious beliefs, and am of the mindset that Heaven will be pretty great.
I always figured it wouldn't be a big deal if I were to pass away prematurely.

I would feel bad for my parents, and once I got married I knew I would feel terrible for Cary (and would not-so-secretly hate that he'd most likely get remarried).

BUT,
driving home from the hospital last November something changed.

For lack of a technical term, let's call it MOM-XIETY.

If Cary's 15 minutes late my mind automatically jumps to a worst case scenario. If Zoey is sleeping quietly (she got the snoring gene from her dad), I have to check on her every 30 minutes. And, if we have to drive separate cars, my paranoia about the potential dangers facing half my family grows twenty fold.

I finally understand why my mom had us call ALL the time, and check in every 2 hours, even though we were still at the same friends house.

Mom-xiety.

It sucks.

I read (on pinterest I think) some quote about not worrying about bad things happening, because if they do you'll have lived it twice.

Sounds good.

But how do I actually apply that? I need a treatment for this ailment... because Cary often likes to chat with his workout buddy and I probably have enough horrible scenarios to make 10 years of fictitious 48 Hour specials.

I could spend a lifetime, earning things that I don't need

Some days as a stay at home mom are tough, and unrewarding. There's no measurement for your progress, no acknowledgements of your achievements. You see other women that are showered, well dressed, seemingly less worried about their finances and a small part of you itches for those opportunities...

But then someone else would get to see all these faces.



















And that's just not ok with me.

I love spending my days with her.

It's gonna be alright

saw this the other day after a really hard night... there may have been a glisten in my eye. sometimes commercials just get it right. wow, i just said that... yeah, well...

oh oh sometimes...

This week in the Tippets Residence:

-Zoey decided she likes dancing. She tries to mimic my moves=very funny.

-Zoey got her first swim lesson (in the bathtub (we wanted to try out our swimsuits)). She hates the bathtub... so we ended up taking a shower instead, which she loved.

-Zoey had spit up come out her nose... impressive? yes. painful? i imagine.

-Zoey had her first night where I tried just laying her in the crib and she fell asleep on her own without a single cry

-Also, she had her first 11 hour stretch of sleep (Ah-mazing)

Busy week.

Sunglasses make walks better

Ok, she doesn't like the swimsuit YET

Cary teaching Zoey how to plank

She has funny sleeping positions...

As for me, Cary has had a lot of 12 hour days this week....

which means I get to do whatever I want with the baby without getting told to leave her alone, AND I have to do all these things by myself (which is a lot harder).

AND since my little person can't say "thank you" or "dang, you're awesome mom"...

I sometimes feel underappreciated.

I mean, I typically think it's a feat to just keep baby alive, healthy and happy, but today I took baby girl for a walk, read a million books, tummy time, got her cleaned and dressed, did all my visiting teaching, did the grocery shopping, unloaded, cleaned the house, entertained baby girl and got the laundry done.

Where's my gold star? (do I sound whiny enough yet ;) Ok, really gold stars were always lame and overrated.

Actually, I'm just tired from my already full day, and would love a guilt free nap... but I gotta go whip up dinner for the missionaries.

Guess I'll just log these moments in my mind for the next day we don't do much of anything and I need to remind myself some days I have it together.