Love is complicated. I know that's not exactly some profound world shattering statement. We all know this. Yet it still interests me how complicated love can be despite billions of people inhabiting the earth, dealing with all types of relationships every day. I mean shouldn't somebody have a clue.
Some guys at work keep telling me about their relationship problems. One wants to marry a girl and she has all of a sudden become distant, giving crap excuses like she's not sure the spirit is telling her the same thing. I mean I'm all for involving Heavenly Father in major life decisions, but if you don't want to marry someone, man up and just say it. Another guy is dating a girl who wants to marry him, but he isn't sure. He says he's at the point where he doesn't mind seeing her and spending time with her, but it also isn't top on his list of things to do each day. That makes me sad. Is it so unrealistic to want a relationship in which the other person is excited to see you even after 6 months, a year, or 20?
Perhaps, it's the constant stream of Grey's Anatomy episodes on our apartment television, but I've come to a few conclusions about what I want in a relationship.
1. In the spirit of Grey's, I want someone who looks at me the way McDreamy looks at Meredith. I know that sounds absurd because it's a tv show, but in all reality he just always seems to convey sincere emotions when looking at her. It's concern when she's upset, and attentiveness when she's talking, and the overall I can't believe I'm with her kind of look.
2. I want a guy who talks about me the way President Hinckley talked about his wife. They weren't without their problems, and he often talked about needing to go for a walk around the block, but in the same breath he could say she was the girl of his dreams. He always had so much respect and appreciation for her.
3. I read a book recently that restored my hope in romantic novels (after all the dribble that is twilight, i was seriously doubting (sorry to those who love twilight, i don't mean to offend... and i don't mean to go off on that book)). So my favorite conversation in this book isn't a particularly climatic one at all, but it just seemed more real than most books, in that it's not exactly the most eloquent, but it's sincere and tugs at the heart strings- in it's own way. So, the background is a boy talking to a girl, they're just friends, and he's explaining how he thinks of her.
"I mean, if you gave some guy the assignment of creating a woman using as little material as possible but without cutting any corners, he'd make you."
"Why, that's so--- sweet?" But it was sweet. No one had ever told me my corners were uncut before.
"I don't know if it's sweet, but it's true. When you're around other women, they end up looking sprawling and overdone, like whoever made them got carried away."
"Went way overbudget," I said.
"Right. Although, the person who made you may have gotten a little extravagant with your face, but probably because he had some left over to spend."
"Economical guy that he was." I laughed.
Anyhow, I guess I don't know what I mean by #3, other than I want to have real conversations that aren't out of a movie, but seem sweet to me and that's all that matters. Although on that note I do love on Grey's when Meredith tells Derek she loves him "in a really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a boom box over my head kind of way"
So there you go, my ideals for a relationship. They don't seem awfully unrealistic to me, but who knows- maybe it would be easier if i rattled off a list with stats such as 6 ft 2 in, brown hair, blue eyes, college educated, loves the beach, etc. etc.
I'll just leave you with this thought from our good friend, the wise man Dr. Seuss: "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"
