Suddenly I see, this is what i wanna be

Monday, September 15, 2008

So Emily and I were having a conversation (if you can call messages over facebook a conversation) about *shocker* how much it sucks to be an adult. We were contemplating the fact that people constantly ask those of us who are single what we are doing with our lives, and they expect big answers. They expect us to be productive and successful and going places. Yet, to my knowledge married people don't get asked these questions. It's like getting married gets you off the hook. All of a sudden nobody expects you to be going places, and doing things to change the world for the better. You're married. That is going places and doing things. 

Oh, but I can hear you. Sure, Carla, being married is so great, instead of asking about jobs they ask you when you're having kids. SO WHAT!!!! Are you trying to say that making babies is hard. I don't buy it. Heck, it's enjoyable to boot. Which then leads me to the pregnancy state of being. Somebody asks me "Are you just trying to be a career server, or what?" Yes, yes of course my lifelong dream was to take orders from people detailing whether they want mushrooms in their pasta or a lime in their coke. However, they turn to my friend who is pregnant and does she get asked what she is doing with her life. No, she's pregnant.... Yeah, let that sink in. 

Since when did being pregnant become an active pursuit in life. I mean it effects your daily life and I'm not in any way trying to say that it is easy or shouldn't be respected and taken seriously. However, it is still an involuntary bodily process. It's not as though you have to take 10 hours each day and focus "grow baby, grow baby, grow (ha ha in my head that sounded like V-Ice singing go ninja, go ninja, go)."

So, I have decided that from now on when people ask what I'm doing with my life I'm gonna say "I'm metabolizing. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm metabolizing." Crinkled foreheads, and questioning looks. "What you thought metabolizing wasn't something you do with your life... oh, are you sadly mistaken. See, because I'm focused I metabolize at twice the rate you do." Cynical looks. "Yeah, that's right, twice the rate."

If that doesn't work, I'm resorting to "I'm in the witness protection program, I can't give you any details, but they call me Carla."


Emily said...

Very true. I've decided many times to just start making up interesting goals/details of my life, but when it actually comes down to answering questions I usually just cave and tell peole the same boring stuff I always do.

Jamie said...

I'm totally with you Carla...and let me just add one more question that us single grown ups are constantly asked, "so when are you getting married". Yah, married people might have to deal with the "so when are you having babies" question....but they dont have to deal with the "so when are you gettin married" question which could be worse because I believe that in many people's cases they would actually LOVE to be married, or atleast in a relationship that is heading in that direction, and yet they're not and that question is just a constant reminder.

emily said...

I love the question "so why are you not married?". Which basically means that they either think we just don't have the desire to get married (almost impossible in the Mormon world) or that something is wrong with us which prevents us from having the opportunity.

Here is how I believe these people think such a conversation should go:

Random person: So why are you not married?
Me: Oh gee, I guess I just never thought about it before.
Random person: Well, you should start to think about it.
Me: Oh my, thank you so much for implanting the idea in my head, otherwise I may have never have thought about it.
Random person: No problem, you should get on that.
Me: Oh, I will, right away

And to think...if they had never asked, I just wouldn't have even considered it!!

And might I add that most of these types of questions come from those who were married at the ripe-old-age of 19, 20, or 21 - Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just don't they get it.

Teri said...

Carla, I'll have you know that I get asked both, "So what are your plans for you life," and "So, when are you having kids?" However, most people greet me by saying, "Hey, haven't you graduated yet?" And on top of that I won't graduate for another year and half. At least you finished early. :)

Carla said...

k, emily... this is me responding... i totally agree with all of the above statements and I think i could probably write a follow up blog about why i don't think it's acceptable for a job to be what you are doing with your life. I mean so what if you're a lawyer, or a doctor or whatever, shouldn't we all be more curious about the goals you are pursuing. Such as the service you do, hobbies, travels... anyhow, i suppose after all this I conclude that the grass is always greener on the other side. You can always be doing more, be a better person, more educated, more accomplished etc etc etc.

And on that note, because I don't feel like the overachiever prodigy that i could probably be, today I'm going to sit at home and watch some more tv on dvd. Feel free to join.

elizabeth said...

I hate all questions like that. When are you getting married, when are you having babies, what are you going to do when.....They are all rude! I just don't like rude, nosy people. I REALLY hate people asking me about children, I hate it a lot. I usually say that I am not sure I even want to keep the one I have. But now I fear that might give Lilly a complex so I have to come up with something else. I don't think it's fair to segregate married vs. single people, I think it is the rude people of the world who ask those questions! I still get asked all the time why I got a music degree and what amd I going to do with my life.

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