I'm currently reading Spencer W. Kimball's "Faith Precedes the Miracle." I enjoy studying the gospel through the prophets because I often find it is easier to understand. This book uses almost constant scriptural reference and although I have read the same scriptures before and do understand their intent I appreciate the insights of our past prophet.
In reading prophets teachings however, I sometimes feel my beliefs, the modern world, and their statements conflict. Occasionally, I struggle to understand and I'm not sure if it's my own stubborn, opinionated approach to life, or if there might be justice in my thinking.
Let me highlight my current hangup for the sake of receiving any insights those who stumble upon my blog might care to divulge.
It's from the chapter, John and Mary, Beginning Life Together. First conflict: p 128 discusses the error young women make in preparing for a career that they will not follow. He specifically mentions languages, mathematics and business. He continues to discuss the need for studies relating to homemaking and child-rearing. Although I agree that understanding children, and the ability to teach and cook will make motherhood (a role I do wish to someday achieve) much easier, I don't understand the logic behind criticizing these other degrees. We can't all major in Marriage and Family Relations! And what a sad world it would be if we did. I make the argument that though some mothers are amazing mothers because they tell great stories and cook and sew; are not other mothers amazing because they can instill in their young children a sense of entrepeneurship and the concepts necessary to go on and start successful businesses. Some mothers make homemade bread and some mothers buy their bread. Must we be so quick to judge one mother over the other. Is that not the great understanding of our Heavenly Father to allow all different women to be mothers, each with their different skills and talents to raise children with these varying talents? And what about those women who will not be blessed to have children? Should they also deny their talents in "languages and mathematics and business?" As a young women today, how is one to know that you will not be called upon to support yourself, and or a family? Heaven forbid, I were to get married and my husband pass away, I will wish I was a successful business woman with her MBA and the skills necessary to provide for my family with a job that only requires me to be gone minimal hours a week.
Another paragraph that got me, p 129 "You wouldn't want to work outside the home... broken homes resulting when women leave their posts at home. You will remain at home... and when John comes home tired, you will be fresh and pleasant." Ok, really. As you know, if you're actually my friend, I am a bit of a work-aholic. I love working. And although I would love the opportunity to stay home with my children, part of me thinks that I would still enjoy a few hours working when I'm a mom (paid or volunteer). AND, the whole bit about being fresh and pleasant when the hubby comes home tired sounds like a load of bull to me. Ok, I've tended children and I've worked 12 hour shifts waiting tables and we've all heard me complain about waiting but seriously, taking care of kids is SOOOO much more tiring. Kids require infinite patience and even more energy! I will try to look good and keep my house nice, so that my husband will want to come home... but to think that he'll be tired and I won't because I've "just been at home all day" is the biggest lie I've ever heard.
I don't want to be misunderstood as disagreeing with the basic principles of the church or saying that the prophets are wrong. I believe that males and females are inherently different with individual roles. I also believe that it is important for a mother to raise her children. I just struggle to fit these ideals into my life in the world today. Am I supposed to wait around sewing and cooking until I find a husband and have children? Should I not be so hard on myself for not working in my field and gaining work experience, because I wish to someday raise children? Is it valid to argue that perhaps the life we live is different than the life some of our prophets who preached these doctrines lived? I mean we face different challenges than even our parents twenty years ago, and our children yet will face new challenges. We live in a world that changes on a daily basis, and though gospel principles do not change, I believe that our approach to effectively living those principles might require us to adapt.
Many of those who read this blog are talented, college educated mothers whom I respect to the utmost, brilliant career women working on furthering their education, or students diligently studying their field of interest (shelli just finish stats!). What do you think? Have you read this book? What are your thoughts relating to the Church's views on women's roles?
To end on a less serious note, there was a passage that just made me happy. Allow me to share: "There has grown up a deplorable exploitation of young women in queen contests. Practically every school, industry, political subdivision, celebration, and class must have a queen. There are queens for every vegetable, fruit, farm product, until it is ludicrous." Anyhow, he continues for two pages criticizing beauty pageants which just makes me laugh. Oh Utah and your beauty pageants...
I think I could win a title ;)
4 days ago