On my knees I think clearer

Everyone seems to be very interested in my job situation... so allow me to fill you in.

As many of you know, I quit my job waiting tables in Germany (making absurd amounts for serving) to come home and win over Mr. Cary Tippets.

As you know, I accomplished my goal! And I decided to reward myself with a little time off from my typical 50-60 hour work weeks to plan a wedding.

Although, this was probably not the wisest decision... that is to leave only the daunting task of wedding planning on my plate without other distractions... it was enjoyable to have time to spend with Cary and friends, as well as ponder my next career move.

Well, the wedding came together, the honeymoon was bliss, and we came back to an empty apartment in provo the beginning of September.

Almost 6 weeks later... my apartment is not empty. I have two comfy couches, a sweet tv, a finished table, chairs that will get done some day, a kitchen that is all mine and decorations slowly going up on the walls. I also applied for countless jobs. I decided that the learning experiences as a server had been mostly exhausted, so it was time to set my hopes on other forms of employment.

Those other forms of employment weren't setting their sights on me, however. So after 3.5 weeks I decided to expand my search to include restaurant management. BOY, did the offers start pouring in. (At least I know where my strengths lie). I even got an offer pretty quickly for a well paying restaurant manager position. It seemed great, except as I was leaving the 7 hour orientation, I got that sinking feeling that can only be related to that feeling at the end of summer when you have to go back to high school. (I'm sorry if you loved high school, you are weird.)

Don't get me wrong, high school was a good experience for me. I played sports, participated in clubs, had lots of friends, and had great grades, but at the end of every summer a minor depression accompanied the wretched return of the cinder block prison. If you still don't understand me... go rent any movie with a teen in it.

Soooo, back to the details of my life, I decided to accept the offer stating I could start in a week (a.k.a. desperately hope for some other option to pop up in the next week).

AND it did! I got an offer as a physical therapy aide! I was so pumped. A job using my degree and something that might even give me insight to my education options down the road. I couldn't be more thrilled... til he told me the pay. Barely enough to cover the bills before taxes, and definitely not enough to glance past the ramen noodle aisle, I was deflated to say the least.

After weighing the pros and cons however, I decided new experience was the way to go. So I started the PT job and went back to the Mac Shack part time to make up the pay difference. Well, I didn't last very long. After a week and some crying because I never got to see Cary, I was spending 2 hours a day commuting, I felt unappreciated and overworked, the house hadn't been cleaned, the laundry hadn't been done and I was exhausted... not to mention I foresaw no time for friends in my near future, I quit.

The morning after I quit was glorious. I didn't have to rush out of bed at 5:30 to battle the traffic to work. I actually felt rested. I had time to make Cary lunch and kiss him goodbye. Despite praying before I quit, around 2 it sunk in that I'm the girl who quits a job in terrible economic times with no prospects in my future.

I'm silly, I know. I'm happy though, and that matters more to me. My family matters more. So (if you made it to the end of this post) please pray that I get a 2nd chance at finding a job, whether I deserve it or not. And if I can be so bold, let's pray that it pays enough to cover the bills and is closer to home :)