I think that I should hold on, hold on

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

This parenting gig is rough.

I won't lie.

Two kids threw me for a loop. Well, really, as Jerry Seinfeld described, anytime 2 people enter a room and 3 come out it's already gotten crazy. So, we've been working to adjust to our new normal which is just part of the process of adding a new member to the family Thankfully it's been so much smoother than those first few months with Zoey.

However, lately I've just felt like the day to day is such a struggle. Zoey has fully embraced all the independent, assertiveness and emotion that comes along with being a toddler (read: terrible two's) and I haven't been coping well.

Sometimes, friends or family praise Zoey for things such as her sleeping habits. And though each kid comes with a personality that make certain parts of parenting easier or harder... I've always patted myself on the back for doing my research, understanding my kid and taking the necessary steps to help her be the best little sleeper she can be. In fact, sometimes I get a little annoyed when people say she is just naturally a great sleeper.

Of course the flip side to that coin... is that I should also take responsibility for those habits that still need hammering out: screaming, crying, kicking, demanding things, picky eating, talking back, not listening. 

And as I've hung my head in desperation night after night, and handed her off to Cary before I let the very mean mom under the surface blow... I think I'm finally realizing it comes down to that last trait: not listening.

I'm not listening. 

It's hard to be 2. Emotions are hard things to deal with (most adults are still figuring out how). It's hard to have a taste of independence and not be able to control very much of your day to day. It's hard to have a mom all to yourself and then share her with a baby that needs more attention and time.

So I'm reading and studying and trying to be better. I'm trying to listen. I'm trying to help her listen (which is comical. I swear she's 2 going on 16.), and I'm so happy to say the last couple days have gone worlds better. Meltdowns are few and farther between, and though I love my baby girl to pieces I think we're learning to like each other again! 

Now, hopefully that I've recorded my shortcomings and with a little help from above--I will remember these lessons in a year and a half for Tucker (fingers crossed).


Ashley said...

You are a good momma, Carla! And yes....sleep is definitely a learned behavior, so I think you did a great job with helping Miss Zoey become a good sleeper.

Toddlers really are tricky, aren't they? I think you're doing exactly what you should be doing by listening and helping her listen (and handing her off to Cary when you know you need a break!) That's what I'm trying to do, too!

I love that picture of her in her little cheerleader outfit...so adorable!

Kaley said...

Thanks for being honest.

Last night I looked through facebook and instagram before going bed and let that familiar ache creep in as I asked myself (again) why everyone else in the world gets to have a boyfriend or husband or kids or someone to love them. It's really hard to watch people enjoy what you want so badly but can't have for some reason. I thought a lot about that and reminded myself that social media is such a warped view of reality. These people might have a spouse and kids but I can't see the other things they're dealing with, and I definitely can't see what they need. So thanks for keeping it real, and reminding me that the thing that I want so bad isn't quite as euphoric as I sometimes let myself think it is. Keep it up. You're doing better than you know.

Post a Comment