So I've never been one to worry about dying.
(quite the opening line, eh...)
I have strong religious beliefs, and am of the mindset that Heaven will be pretty great.
I always figured it wouldn't be a big deal if I were to pass away prematurely.
I would feel bad for my parents, and once I got married I knew I would feel terrible for Cary (and would not-so-secretly hate that he'd most likely get remarried).
BUT,
driving home from the hospital last November something changed.
For lack of a technical term, let's call it MOM-XIETY.
If Cary's 15 minutes late my mind automatically jumps to a worst case scenario. If Zoey is sleeping quietly (she got the snoring gene from her dad), I have to check on her every 30 minutes. And, if we have to drive separate cars, my paranoia about the potential dangers facing half my family grows twenty fold.
I finally understand why my mom had us call ALL the time, and check in every 2 hours, even though we were still at the same friends house.
Mom-xiety.
It sucks.
I read (on pinterest I think) some quote about not worrying about bad things happening, because if they do you'll have lived it twice.
Sounds good.
But how do I actually apply that? I need a treatment for this ailment... because Cary often likes to chat with his workout buddy and I probably have enough horrible scenarios to make 10 years of fictitious 48 Hour specials.
(quite the opening line, eh...)
I have strong religious beliefs, and am of the mindset that Heaven will be pretty great.
I always figured it wouldn't be a big deal if I were to pass away prematurely.
I would feel bad for my parents, and once I got married I knew I would feel terrible for Cary (and would not-so-secretly hate that he'd most likely get remarried).
BUT,
driving home from the hospital last November something changed.
For lack of a technical term, let's call it MOM-XIETY.
If Cary's 15 minutes late my mind automatically jumps to a worst case scenario. If Zoey is sleeping quietly (she got the snoring gene from her dad), I have to check on her every 30 minutes. And, if we have to drive separate cars, my paranoia about the potential dangers facing half my family grows twenty fold.I finally understand why my mom had us call ALL the time, and check in every 2 hours, even though we were still at the same friends house.
Mom-xiety.
It sucks.
I read (on pinterest I think) some quote about not worrying about bad things happening, because if they do you'll have lived it twice.
Sounds good.
But how do I actually apply that? I need a treatment for this ailment... because Cary often likes to chat with his workout buddy and I probably have enough horrible scenarios to make 10 years of fictitious 48 Hour specials.
3 comments:
I lost my best friend, suddenly, and tragically 6 years ago, and that was when I had my onset of "Mom-xiety" I realized that you could lose anybody at anytime. Though I have gotten much better, I still freak out if Todd is late, or is playing really aggressively in soccer. My way of "coping" has been to LOVE the crap out of people when I am with them. My goodbyes to friends and family generally take about 30 min. It at least gives me the peace of mind that my last words with somebody would be "I love you" instead of welp-see ya. (Truthfully though I think it makes Todd sort of crazy sometimes...)
Oh, I'm a worrier, too, and I'm not even a mom. I'm gonna be a basket case when I have kids. Sorry...no suggestions.
I have no suggestions either. I'm the same way...... :/
Post a Comment