I want a simple explanation for what I'm feeling inside

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I underestimated the stress of planning a wedding.

As far as planning a wedding goes, nothing goes as planned. And, although these things aren't a big deal, when compounded with the all the emotions you're feeling... they tend to result in meltdowns of various degrees.

So for memories sake (and perhaps to either allow you to reminisce the events leading up to your big day, or mentally prepare for your future big day), here's some of my more exciting meltdowns.

1. Dress Shopping- Allow me to explain that although I am a size 2, this does not necessarily make for happy dress hunting. The average wedding dress shop stocks dresses for girls who are a size 6 and about 6 feet tall (not really, but obviously this allows enough fabric in case they are, and hemming is only a minor fee ;) if they aren't). I went to about 8 bridal stores before my breakdown over the fact that every dress made me look like a hobbit just waiting for the foot hair to grow in! So before you decide to hate on the little girl... check her feet, she might have to go schedule a waxing appointment before anyone will take her engagement seriously.

2. Ties- Cary has a large family, with lots of boys. This means we need about 24 ties for our wedding. At the typical $10-$15 a tie, this makes for quite a chunk out of the wedding budget! Well, determined to make ends meet... I search high and low to find a NY wholesale tie retailer and order some ties! For only $3 each! (Sorry they're a little on the short side, dad). Fantastic, right? Well, if they hadn't come in the WRONG color. So far all the wedding merchandise was carolina blue (if you don't automatically have a visual of this color, I'm not sure about the status of our friendship). The ties are in a cobalt/pool/wannabe turquoise blue. After a week of fretting and being less than pleasant, I decide that I can't find ties anywhere else (oh and the company's return policy is not actually a return policy) and I now reel to rearrange everything around this color.

3. His ring- Cary and I were at a bridal fair looking at rings when he finds one he likes. It costs around $200. Cary decides that the price is ridiculous and they sell men's rings for $50 online, so we should just order one. Sounds good to me. So we get him sized, go online and find almost the exact ring and order it. Well, the ring has come and.... it doesn't fit. Sucks to size it, but I figure at least it wasn't too expensive. Until, I'm told you can't size a titanium ring... (I probably should have known this before hand, but sadly, I did not). So now, with the wedding a week away, I have a ring that is too big for my fiance's finger and a return policy that will take two weeks to get me a new ring.

4. Money- Not only is planning a wedding stressful because our society has countless shows demonstrating the amazing things you can do with $250,000, and you don't have that, but it's a bit emotionally/financially stressful to write out $600 checks on a regular basis. Trying to make your imagination fit within your budget is difficult and extremely time consuming. It takes lots of searching online, shopping, coupon clipping and then I've resorted to crafting (which would probably be fun if I wasn't making 15 of the same thing). To illustrate the stress, let me share one of my scarier moments (and yeah, Cary still wants to marry me ;)

After a long saturday of wedding stuff, we headed home. I'm tired and just feeling overwhelmed, so Cary suggests we stop at 7-Eleven and get a mountain dew for me. I state that I don't want to spend the money and I'll just go home and drink water cause it's free. He insists on getting me a soda... it's only $1.50! Finally, annoyed I pull in and say you can go get yourself a drink, but I don't want one. So he goes in and after 5 minutes comes out with a soda and a chocolate milk. When he gets in the car, I say "I didn't want a soda." He says, good cause I'm gonna drink it. I respond, "Since when do you drink Mt. dew... you're a Dr. Pepper guy." "Since now" he says. Then not even trying to hide my annoyance I ask how much did you pay for that? He says $1.60 (and it's a 20 oz. bottle). And then I just lose it. Seriously! "Cary, the fountain drinks are only a dollar, you get twice the amount of soda, and it tastes better!" Probably realizing that I'm right, he says "well, it's not for you anyhow." He opens the soda, takes a swig and then makes a face, followed by "This really isn't good." Me: "Duh, you got a diet." Cary: "Seriously! Aghhh. That's it, I'm throwing it away." Me: "You're not throwing it away, you just wasted $1.60... I'll drink it."

Ha ha, I'm ridiculous... but at least, so are our arguments. It makes it so much easier to laugh and move on 5 minutes later. Hmmm, and now I want a Mt. Dew...


Mary said...

Oh man, being engaged was completely incredi-stressful. Once when I was stuck at my sister's house sans car I started crying because I wasn't going to be able to get to Christian's apartment soon enough. I admit it, I was completely pathetic. So I called Christian {who was sick} and made him come and pick me up. And I know you know this already, but it's the most worth it thing of all time.

Marisha said...
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Marisha said...

Haha, oh Carla, we've all been there. Here's my 2 cents, "because everyone's entitled to my opinion!" (:

The dress, will look amazing no matter what. Pay whatever it will cost to get it altered because, yes you only wear it once, but it's in every picture and nothing looks worse than a dress that doesn't fit right. It comes off cheap.

The ring, if you already returned it in hopes of getting the new one, buy a cheap replacement. No one will know the difference. Or use the big one, by a cheap one for him to wear once you do send it back.

Saving money, always good. But don't stress, weddings do cost money. That's it. And you only get married once {sometimes twice (: }, make it count. You don't want to look back on your pictures and see the cheapness shining through.

Last thoughts, get a good friend/family member to video tape your ring ceremony {if you have one}, first dance as husband and wife, father/daughter dance, cutting the cake etc. Videos are priceless and I wish so bad that I had paid for someone to tape our wedding. Videos and pictures last forever, pay the extra money there. Also, whatever you do, don't let anyone else tell you what you should be doing for your wedding! Trust your gut. You know what you want.

D and I have had similar silly fights, that's normal. Have you had Mt Dew throw back? It's made with real sugar like back in the day, hence the name. It's priced $2.98 for a 12 pack at Sam's club if you have a membership. Or $3.98 at Walmart, $4.98 at Target. So worth it! (: Also Walmart has regular Mt Dew, 24 pack for $5.98.

Ok, that's all I have to say. (: When you marry the right person, it is awesome like Mary said. It's work, but awesome. Can't wait to see pictures! You're going to be GORGEOUS!

Olho no Olho said...
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Olho no Olho said...
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Olho no Olho said...

The Carla if you really go through this nightmare I let Jesus Christ find a council he can get you to a solution. And it looks good if that's what you want. look around you do you think something better ... you are a beautiful cat kisses

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