Scars are souvenirs you never lose

I love this time of year. It almost feels more like a new start than New Years does to me. A new school year (I'm still adjusting to the fact that my life isn't defined by school years anymore), new clothes, new shoes, new tv shows, and of course... new people. New people at church, at school, at work, basically all my current social networks are changing and with change comes get to know you conversations which are oh-so-fun. 

These conversations typically go like so- "Hi my name is so and so, I am from whatever state, I have been attempting to figure out what to do with myself while at college for some amount of semesters and now I am majoring in this and that. La ti da."  YAWN. Oh wait, what was that. 

Exactly, these intro's are boring and nobody remembers any of the details. Recently, though, while sitting in one of these social settings with a number of new people, we were asked to go around and introduce ourselves by telling about our best scar or our worst date. It was the most entertaining "get to know you" that I think I've ever been a part of. 

So what's the story behind your scars?

When I grow up, I wanna be...

While watching Grey's Anatomy, Meredith discusses the benefits of being an adult... 

1. Driving- definitely the best thing to happen to any individual as they make their descent into the dismal existence that is adulthood.

2. Ice cream diet- ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner if you want... cause there's no one to nag you about the complete lack of nutrients 

3. Sex- oh wait, I'm mormon, darn....

Ha, then my roommate Rachel chimes in "sex, we can work on that, you'll be having sex in no time." 

......

......

Hmmm... yeah, my roommates are great influences. Don't worry, I'm not gonna go around breaking any commandments... I'll just stick to watching Grey's with half gallons of slow-churned cookie dough Dreyer's Ice Cream. 

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

While reading an article about the sappy Olympic commercials, i found a link to this article.

Ads We Hate: The most annoying commercials in the universe.

The slogan on Greyhound's most recent ad campaign: "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.' " A clever line, extolling the alleged laid-back nature of bus travel. Two problems. 1) I myself have experienced "bus rage"—every single time I've ridden a bus. 2) The ads went up just in time for the occurrence of what must be the absolute worst case of bus rage in history—an incident in Canada in which a Greyhound passenger beheaded his seatmate with a knife and then began "hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them." If you hadn't heard of bus rage before, you have now!

Ok, i must admit, I laughed. I know, I'm a disturbed person, who has obviously been calloused by video games and overly violent movies and reduced to a desentized cruel excuse for a human being... but seriously, i bet you laughed too. No, not because I think it's funny that some guy brutally killed and ate his busmate, but because sometimes commercials are so ridiculous you wonder how they ever got past the advertising executives.

And yet, despite the intro, i was having trouble recalling obnoxious commercials, so I decided to share my current favorite. Enjoy.

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive

As the Olympics draws to a close, it's only appropriate to end my Olympic postings with my favorite pictures of Michael Phelps!

Yeah, he know's he's hot.

You've got the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen

I've always hated those girls who planned out their whole wedding down to the most ridiculous detail when they were in high school. Or before they were even engaged for that matter. It always seemed kind of selfish to assume that everything would be exactly how you want it, when there is someone else with whom you are sharing the day. Not to mention, the fact that for many people their taste in clothing, music, and color schemes changes during the 5-10 years between high school and "the big day."

Yet, as is becoming rather common for me, I feel that I need to eat my own words and confess that I've become a total hypocrite. Despite my best efforts, as I've watched many of my friends get married in the past year, I've decided on a lot of preferences in relation to weddings and I'm sad to admit I do have a less than vague idea of what i want.

So, let me step out of reality for a moment and share some of these with you. Opinions are welcome, but I can't promise that I'll care what you have to say, because it'll be my (and some guy's) party and I can pretty much do whatever I want.

My vision is pretty much limited to the apparrel, the food, and more recently the dancing. I've already designed my wedding dress (my mom is a most talented seamstress, who is very accomodating when it comes to my designs), and it's a very casual dress reminiscent of a beach wedding (but obviously won't be, because I'm getting married in the temple). I want the guys in the wedding party to be wearing tan suits and rainbows (the flip flops). I also want the girls to be in a more casual summery dress (oh, yeah this fantasy is contingent on a summer wedding). I hate when the guys are in tux's and the girls are in sunday dress (or vice versa, satin dresses and slacks). Essentially I just want everyone to be casual and comfortable, but classy... think JCrew summer catalog.

Anyhow, so with the summer apparel, the backdrop most obviously has to be a Pig Pickin'. I mean seriously, a wedding is a celebration and therefore should be all about good food, good company, and good times. I define this as a Pig Pickin'. I love barbeque. I love the South. I love the outdoors. Need I say more.

So this was pretty much all I ever wanted out of a wedding, and then i saw this preview for some show where Napoleon and Tabitha (off So You Think You Can Dance) choreograph a wedding dance for couples (they do hip hop routines), and I thought that'd be cool. I mean who wants to dance to some lovey dovey crap like Jesse McCartney's "beautiful soul" (i'm really sorry if I just offended someone), I sure don't! No of course not, I'd rather bust it out to some sick Chris Brown song like "Forever." Ha, I know, you're all thinking "and how is that better." Fair enough, I maintain the right to dismiss this part of my plans at any time. But for today at least, i think it would be cool to bust out a hip hop routine at my wedding.

Oh, and I want the groom to have the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen (hey, it's my fantasy wedding!)

So there ya go, the crazy girl side of me. Oh and when this all goes down, you're totally invited. Just remember your sunglasses and appetite!

I want to run through the halls of my high school

Actually, I have no desire to ever step foot in my high school again. It's like that Jack Handy quote "why ask me how school was, it's like a drive by shooting, i'm just glad I made it out alive."

I do, however, want to scream at the top of my lungs. I mistakenly thought I graduated from high school 4 YEARS AGO. Oh contrare, I dwell in the dismal, gossip invested, back stabbing, immature world that should be called Macaroni Grill High. Anyone, who rejoices upon high school graduation, has yet to stumble upon the dream crushing realization that high school is merely a preview of life and the drama continues as long as you're a functioning member of society. It is a strong person who can continue into life unscathed and revel in their lack of concern towards other opinions and the immature and selfish games we play to get ahead in life.

I'm not sure how well I'm playing the game, but i suppose Kanye put it best... that, that don't kill me, can only make me stronger.

Henry the eighth, I am I am

Having just watched The Other Boleyn Girl, I am amazed at the drama and complete lack of morals the involved parties displayed. Geez, and I thought our political system has issues...

Lessons I learned from The Other Boleyn Girl

1. Committing adultery will not only send you to hell, it'll lead to you and your sister sleeping with the same man, you sleeping with your brother, and the loss of your head... They should use Anne Boleyn in high school health classes as a shining beacon of why you should remain abstinent.

2. Violence against women is fine if said women "seduced" you into breaking your ties with the Catholic Church.

3. Bastard children are perhaps lucky to be unclaimed by their psychologically damaged father.

4. And of course, never underestimate the power of women... no male heir could have done what Elizabeth did so powerfully for 45 years.

*Disclaimer: Wikipedia does not paint the picture of such a conniving power hungry wench as hollywood does. Ok, really the movie was interesting and it prompts you to seek out the 5 facts that you know hollywood spun a 2 hour movie out of. (dang it, i know i'm not supposed to end sentences with prepositions but I'm too tired to rewrite it... goodnight)

In my mind I'm going to Carolina...

So I found this old list of 25 ways to know you're from North Carolina and it made me laugh... so i will share a few of my fav's.

You Know You're From North Carolina if:

-You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.
-You sold Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a school or church fundraiser before those glazed doughnuts went global.
-You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school.
-People are not fat, they're healthy
-You've actually uttered the phrase "it's too hot to go to the pool."
-School was cancelled because of cold, heat, and hurricanes
-The festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco
-You know what a pig pickin' is, and you consider being a "Pork Queen" an honor.

Well, welcome to my world a little bit. Anyhow, in other news Chelsie Hightower, Gev and myself are becoming fast friends (meaning they came in for another 20 minute meal at the Mac Grill!). I am proud to say I got a picture this time, and if I ever bother to learn how to add pictures to my blog it will be up shortly.

I don't quite know how to say how I feel

I can only imagine how Michael Phelps feels. I'm ecstatic and tired, and all I've done is watch. Way to go Michael! Congratulations.

That is all.

Because I'm sure it isn't good- that's the impression that i get

Wow, so while perusing through some friends blogs and then linking to their friends blogs I came across this assessment of the fourth and final book in the Twilight series. Having just completed the book, so as to better defend my stance on the poor quality of the series, I really couldn't have summed it up better myself. So here's to stealing from other people's blogs...


For some inexplicable and perverse reason, I spent the last hour and a half of my life perusing an online copy of Breaking Dawn. You know, the new manual for Young Women's and Relief Society. And this is what I learned:

1. Sub/dom is the model for the ideal relationship. (That's right: forget that "equal partnership" article that the Hafens wrote up for the Ensign. They just haven't discovered the thrill and fulfillment of rocking your wife to sleep while singing her a lullaby.)

2. Promising self-betterment is a great way to get a guy to sleep with you. Bonus: after you've achieved your goal (the sex part, not the betterment part), he'll be so happy that he'll totally forget about that little promise you made about education.

3. Speaking of education, it really is just a way to half-heartedly pass the time until you get knocked up. After the happy event, who needs it? Out the window!

4. Being pregnant is really, really awful.

5. Bella is the noblest vampire ever. Why? Because she doesn't need human blood! All she needs is sex, sex, and more sex! (And lots of helpful vampire friends to watch the baby. All the time. Until it's convenient for her to remember that said baby exists (ie: in the morning).)Throw Fascinating Womanhood and A Fascinating Girl out the window. We've got all we need right here to raise the next generation of errand-running angels.

A bit harsh, and yet well said.

And the world spins madly on

He is amazing! He is just straight up amazing. Tonight's race was incredible. To be honest, I'm a traitor in thought. I didn't think he had it. It looked like he was going to lose, but with one hundreth of a second he out touched for the gold medal. (It makes me feel better to know that his mom thought he had 2nd as well, and then practically fainted when she saw that he won.) Anyhow, the swimming is nearly over, and then I have to wait four more years til the London Olympics to share my love of swimming with the World. But for now Michael Phelps has won 7 Gold Medals, is one of the greatest Olympians of all time, and has potential to be the greatest swimmer of all time.

In other news, I was explaining something to a couple of new guys who are training at Macaroni Grill, and my manager walks by and states that I am available (always looking for prime opportunities to embarass his employees). So I ask him what makes him think that I'm available, and he matter of factly states that there aren't any guys good enough to make me completely unavailable. (the collective ahhh now comes from all 2 people that will read this). Yeah, I know... not true, but a really sweet thing to say. Anyhow, perhaps I should write him a note about it* (inside joke with mac grill employees, or at least the cool employees :)

Lame posts lately, I know, sorry. I'll try to make my life more interesting so as to have better posts, and well, cause life's just better when it's interesting.

I met the girl on tv

So I have just been on cloud nine right, with the Olympics and all, but to put icing on the cake, Chelsie Hightower and Gev from So You Think You Can Dance came into Macaroni Grill last night to eat. It was hilarious! I see them walk in, totally do a double take, and then go running back to Jodi screaming "you won't believe who just walked in!" We then proceeded to watch them through their entire meal just gushing and debating whether we should bug them or leave them to their date. Graciously, we allowed them to eat their food in peace, but I talked to them as they were leaving and even got a hug from both (they seemed almost equally as stoked- to know they have nerdy fans like me). Anyhow, what a night.

Of course I didn't get out of work til midnight because I couldn't stop talking about So You Think You Can Dance and the celebrities that I touched! And of course this morning I had to call my mom and sisters to brag about meeting them and now it's 1 pm and I'm feeling pretty worthless.

Ehh who cares. In the grand scheme of things am I going to remember and be glad that I used this day productively or that I watched every swim race in the 2008 Olympics and met Chelsie and Gev. Yeah, I agree, definitely the later...

Please get me a towel, Mr. Tangerine Speedo

I just witnessed perhaps one of the greatest swim races of my time. The Men's 4 x 100 Free Relay was incredible. I'm not sure there's even words to describe that relay. Basically it was the perfect relay. The U.S. team swam the perfect race to beat the highly favored French Men's Team by 8 one hundreth's of a second, not to mention shattering the previous world record by 4 seconds (that's like going from a 6 min mile to a 3.5 min mile in 2 weeks, for all you non-swimmers). And of course, as if winning gold and rubbing it in the french's face isn't good enough... Michael Phelps is now 2 for 2 in his quest for 8 gold medals in one olympics, which would make him the greatest Olympian in history. Bascially to sum this all up, I'm pretty much as ecstatic as I was when UNC won the NCAA title in 2005. I only wish that I actually had some of my swimming friends to watch it with me, or at least my little sister. Anyhow, I should probably go rest my voice now if I have any desire to talk to my tables at work tomorrow... (ha, so much to respond to that, but i'll leave it alone).

***Disclaimer: If you're already tired of my posts on the Olympics, you might want to tune out of my blog for the next 6 days... as there are many more swimming events to come***

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in

Just some quick random thoughts, because I should have gone to bed forever and a day ago, but.... of course I got sucked into another 3 hours of Olympics. I love the Olympics. I think they are so entertaining. It's just incredible to me what people can do, and the spirit that allows people to set aside political, religious, and ethnic differences for 17 days every 2 years to rejoice in the human spirit (I know I sound like one of the television ads... it happens after watching practically 15 hours of Olympics in a 28 hour time period... ok i tivo through the commentator and boring stuff, but it is still pretty ridiculous.)

On another note, 2 friends from work (Swift and Peter) and myself are going to open a conglomerate of businesses. We're considering naming them Johnny Swift Industries with one of our first companies being 'Fork Me Fondue: Come take a dip in our pot.' Ha. I'm still laughing, I think it's very catchy.

Now, on to my beauty rest (I have a potentially life changing dinner tomorrow (ha, that's for you peter ((since you're my only blog reader, anyhow))) :)

Seriously! Seriously?

Do you ever watch a movie and wonder how the heck it won so many awards? I mean I'm talking an Oscar for Best Picture for goodness sakes. Best Picture? Really? Was this movie really the best picture for said year? Well, that's just sad, because I then immediately assume that the rest of the films produced that year must have been pretty bleak. This has happened in recent years, but I've been watching a lot of old Best Pictures Oscar winners and I've been so disappointed. Shouldn't a "best picture" be able to transcend time and appeal to the masses even generations later?

Well, perhaps it's just me. Let's be honest, I love the orignial Buffy the Vampire Slayer... so what do I know about best pictures.

Cause I'm easy like sunday morning

Today's a good day. I love overcast summer days. I also love string cheese, my new favorite snack. It's 60 calories of protein and calcium filled goodness (a.k.a. behold the power of cheese).

Everybody go, the party's over.... I want to be alone in my head in my bed tonight

I'm finding lots of jobs that would lead me to places that provide less than optimal social scenes (google: Supai, Arizona). Some days I think so what... a social life is over-rated. I could be completely happy going to work, going to the gym for a couple hours and then settling into my bed to enjoy a couple netflix delivered hours of mindless entertainment. Could I though?

The same girl who sinks into a pit of despair when she realizes not one person texted her today, who would rather sit at Macaroni Grill an hour after her shift ends just to chat, who started blogging so she's not talking out loud to herself, do you think this girl can handle a practically non-existent social life in a town where she knows no one? (Although that seemed like a run-on sentence, I think that sentence is actually grammatically correct, amazing...)

Annie are you ok, Annie are you ok, are you ok Annie?

I need a roommate. Or to be more correct, I need my roommates to be home once in a blue moon. Or I need a friend. Will you be my friend?

Seriously, though, I'm searching for jobs and sometimes I stumble across the most ridiculous job advertisements, which just ache to be aprreciated (a.k.a. mocked) by more than my lowly self. And yet, I sit here... alone, chuckling and wondering if these advertisements are truly out there in cyberspace for the world's entertainment or if someone hacked into my computer and planted them just for me. I'm pretty sure it's the former, which is almost more dismal.

Anyhow, there's also this other position. It's this successful businessman (runs 3 companies) who is looking for a personal assistant (female) who also has an exercise/health background, is organized, and can handle phone calls and meetings with important people. Sounds right up my alley, right? The job is part-time, pays well, and involves lots of paid international travel. Should one actually apply for such a job? Sadly, with the world we live in today, I wonder whether he is just a beast to work for or a serial rapist putting out a rather clever job ad to lure in innocent girls. Well, since I have nobody to discuss said job with, if I end up applying, please watch for me on Dateline.

Happiness is...

My more recent blogs have been somewhat depressing. And although, recent activities in my life are not the most exciting or on my top 100 list of things I enjoy doing, I'm actually quite happy. Life is good. To illustrate let me just list 5 measley things to celebrate.

1. Twitch is in the finals
2. My favorite flavor of ice cream has been on sale 2 weeks in a row
3. I have a Netflix subscription which delivers little envelopes of delight about every 2 or 3 days
4. I just glanced in the mirror and I look hot (of course these moments are most often at midnight when I'm home alone, but it's a confidence booster anyways)
5. AND..... I'm going to my baby's daddy's house to have dinner with his family in approximately one week, one day, and 23.pie hours (just kidding about the countdown) ((but seriously, our baby is named biscuit and once he's done cooking in my oven, he's gonna be one ridiculously good-looking kid))

So.... yeah.... the list is slightly over the top with a pathetic meter rating of about 'a day in the life of paris hilton,' but i'm just trying to illustrate that life is good and I think I'm better than I've been in a while. I suppose Carrie Bradshaw summed it up well "Happiness is like a butterfly- the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..."