Because I'm sure it isn't good- that's the impression that i get

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Wow, so while perusing through some friends blogs and then linking to their friends blogs I came across this assessment of the fourth and final book in the Twilight series. Having just completed the book, so as to better defend my stance on the poor quality of the series, I really couldn't have summed it up better myself. So here's to stealing from other people's blogs...


For some inexplicable and perverse reason, I spent the last hour and a half of my life perusing an online copy of Breaking Dawn. You know, the new manual for Young Women's and Relief Society. And this is what I learned:

1. Sub/dom is the model for the ideal relationship. (That's right: forget that "equal partnership" article that the Hafens wrote up for the Ensign. They just haven't discovered the thrill and fulfillment of rocking your wife to sleep while singing her a lullaby.)

2. Promising self-betterment is a great way to get a guy to sleep with you. Bonus: after you've achieved your goal (the sex part, not the betterment part), he'll be so happy that he'll totally forget about that little promise you made about education.

3. Speaking of education, it really is just a way to half-heartedly pass the time until you get knocked up. After the happy event, who needs it? Out the window!


4. Being pregnant is really, really awful.

5. Bella is the noblest vampire ever. Why? Because she doesn't need human blood! All she needs is sex, sex, and more sex! (And lots of helpful vampire friends to watch the baby. All the time. Until it's convenient for her to remember that said baby exists (ie: in the morning).)Throw Fascinating Womanhood and A Fascinating Girl out the window. We've got all we need right here to raise the next generation of errand-running angels.

A bit harsh, and yet well said.

3 comments:

emily j said...

Carla, I am so happy you have a blog! I chose to not read the fourth vampire book. I struggled so much with the second and couldn't even finish the third that I just couldn't justify torturing myself further. I do enjoy your comments however. And I love that it's now the new YW/RS manual. I'll be sure to skip those meetings for a while. Keep on blogging!

Jamie said...

I would say that assesment is on the harsh side. 1) She wasn't just tryin to get any guy to sleep with her, it was her husband. 2) Sex, sex and more sex...yah, so what, she's a newlywed. She got pregnant on her first night of her honeymoon, which was not her fault because no one even knew that was possible, not to mention that the baby matured WAY faster than any human baby. 3) The other vampires LOVED watching the baby...she still took the baby home with her every night and they just went at it after lil Renesme was asleep, just like most other parents on the planet. Cut her some slack. Ha, I know it sounds like I loved the book but I didn't. It was boring and there was never really that great twist. I just thought the post was off.

Emily L said...

Carla,

All I have to say is THANK YOU!

Kelly and I feel that same way. I told Kelly your thoughts on the series and she was so happy that the entire world has not been deceived. I don't get it. The books are weak. I started the fourth a few days after it came out and I still haven't finished it and I'm not sure I will. I was so mad/disinterested by the end of Bella's Story that I couldn't take it anymore, so I did what I hate to do - I read ahead. I figured there was no way I could endure the entire book without knowing what happens. Knowing the outcome did ease my pain a bit and I almost finished, but with only a hundred pages or so left in the book I found myself once again disinterested. I also found myself rolling my eyes quite often. I know the books are popular and it is an interesting story, but it’s just not my cup of tea. And seriously, what is up with all the sex situations and jokes? I don’t remember seeing a picture of Fabio on the cover.

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