One more chance to hold you close

HAPPY 4 month BIRTHDAY Zoey!

(Well, yesterday.... I got a little busy)

Sometimes, I think you are growing up so fast, but most the time I think you're only 4 months??? You are such an alert little girl, constantly looking around observing everything. Not much gets past our little girl, you definitely catch every look I shoot your dad, and everytime my ipod beeps with a words with friends request.

We regularly remind ourselves that we only get to enjoy you everyday for a few short years before you're off conquering the world. You are beautiful and smart and you already have a keen sense of humor that catches your dad and I off guard, it's no doubt you'll be successful at whatever you set out to do.

Over the last month, you have gotten so much more smiley, and you laugh (mostly during conversations--making us worry you know exactly what we are talking about). You still don't really like the carseat or stroller (making your first trip not so successful), and I foresee lots of telling you to slow down as soon as you can walk. You love chewing your hands, which I'm constantly trying to keep dry, and you've even found your feet--despite my protests they aren't for eating. You love chatting it up with the other babies at church, so much they get a little alarmed at how vocal you are!

Everyone stops to tell you how cute you are, and it only increases because you then pause and flash your biggest smile.

We love you more everyday, and are totally convinced you are the perfect addition to our twosome.

Eating your feet :/

Our sick day spent in bed... you kept making funny faces for the camera

Hands in the mouth... that captures about 90% of the photos we take

I love your deep blue eyes.

I wanted a birthday pic in your cute dress... you wanted to play peek a boo, it always makes you smile--even if I think you're still pretty young to totally understand.

You know it's gonna make it that much better

It's springbreak, YAY!!!!!

Cary is thoroughly enjoying his first (and last) ever college springbreak!

And I'm loving having him around to help with Zoey, but mostly because he makes me laugh all day...

Yesterday, he walks out of the room wearing brown pants and a black tee shirt, and gets this attitude like Tim Gunn "I know this is a total fashion faux pas, brown and black, but I don't even care."

Later I'm flipping through channels and stop on an Insanity infomercial (we're slightly (maybe a little more than slightly) obsessed with the insanity workout program) and look at Cary, hey that could be us in a few more weeks! Then they show a testimonial and this guy has a 6 pack, but they're all out of line, and Cary says "umm yeah, I hope my abs aren't messed up like that, if they are I'll just always keep my shirt on at the beach and just shrug "yeah, I'm fit'"

My personal fav... I was telling Cary a story and realize I was sometimes a horrible sister, and say "wow, I'm kinda suprised my sisters still like me." Cary gets really sarcastic "seriously though... next time I see your sisters I'm gonna ask them 'How can you even stand Carla?'" Haha, only he can make me laugh about my many flaws. But, I told him that makes it sound like our marriage is falling apart, so we decided to save that one for our house only...

oh, and the blog...

It's gonna be alright

saw this the other day after a really hard night... there may have been a glisten in my eye. sometimes commercials just get it right. wow, i just said that... yeah, well...

beautiful girls all over the world

Most of the time Zoey is busy sucking her thumb and making goofy faces at me, but sometimes she catches me off guard and I see a gorgeous little girl instead of my curious, silly babe.





Thanks to my friend, Amanda Swafford for taking some cute photos of Zoey--we really appreciate it! Check out her other work at http://www.amandaswafford.co/blog or book a session, she does families, kids, engagements, and weddings.

my milkshake brings...

Zoey and I are having a sick day.

We're lying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy. (Don't judge me)

Wishing there was a cook-out across the street. Really any decent milkshake joint would suffice. I need to remember this next time we move... must live near fast food with good shakes for when I'm sick.

Anyhow, I plan on being here most of the day... any good shows I should watch? Revenge is rumored to be entertaining... thoughts? I've also heard Once Upon a Time, Alcatraz, and Downtown Abbey...

Let me know

oh oh sometimes...

This week in the Tippets Residence:

-Zoey decided she likes dancing. She tries to mimic my moves=very funny.

-Zoey got her first swim lesson (in the bathtub (we wanted to try out our swimsuits)). She hates the bathtub... so we ended up taking a shower instead, which she loved.

-Zoey had spit up come out her nose... impressive? yes. painful? i imagine.

-Zoey had her first night where I tried just laying her in the crib and she fell asleep on her own without a single cry

-Also, she had her first 11 hour stretch of sleep (Ah-mazing)

Busy week.

Sunglasses make walks better

Ok, she doesn't like the swimsuit YET

Cary teaching Zoey how to plank

She has funny sleeping positions...

As for me, Cary has had a lot of 12 hour days this week....

which means I get to do whatever I want with the baby without getting told to leave her alone, AND I have to do all these things by myself (which is a lot harder).

AND since my little person can't say "thank you" or "dang, you're awesome mom"...

I sometimes feel underappreciated.

I mean, I typically think it's a feat to just keep baby alive, healthy and happy, but today I took baby girl for a walk, read a million books, tummy time, got her cleaned and dressed, did all my visiting teaching, did the grocery shopping, unloaded, cleaned the house, entertained baby girl and got the laundry done.

Where's my gold star? (do I sound whiny enough yet ;) Ok, really gold stars were always lame and overrated.

Actually, I'm just tired from my already full day, and would love a guilt free nap... but I gotta go whip up dinner for the missionaries.

Guess I'll just log these moments in my mind for the next day we don't do much of anything and I need to remind myself some days I have it together.

tonight is the night is the night...

i just have to say...

spending all day with zoey is probably 10 bajillion times better than spending all day at Verizon (no offense, they were a good company to work for)

I just enjoy teaching her about books and games and songs soooo much more than attempting to teach some people how to save contacts in their cell phone...(actually i bet i could teach zoey how to save a contact pretty quickly--well, as soon as she masters the use of her thumbs and quits jamming them in her mouth every other second)

And when zoey yells... it's kind of funny. She doesn't get mad very often, it's more of a yell-pause-is mom paying attention to me yet-yell-(*pause, I'm serious here*)-oh, big smile there's mom!

It's a tough job, not for the weak of stomach, with terrible pay and no vacation days accruing, but we have fun entertaining ourselves.


(she is focusing really hard on wiggling out of her chair... then how will i get a lunch break?)

Just wait, come summer when I post pics of us lounging by the pool, you'll all be jealous :)

And I will always love you....

Oh, Valentine's Day...

Everyone has an opinion about it.

There are the friend's who hail it as "Singles Awareness Day" and boycott anything lovey-dovey, the friend's who mock the commercialism and deny the need for a day to profess their love,

and those who dress up as cupid and pass out valentine's in hopes of spreading "the love" or holiday cheer.

No matter what category you fall into,

I think everyone wants a little love.

Are you seriously going to tell me when the candy grams and singing valentine's got delivered in high school you didn't secretly hope you might get one (although that would be horribly embarassing at the same time)?

Or even if you've squashed out all excitement for the day you wouldn't smile inside if someone gave you a chocolate and said something thoughtful and nice?

I don't deny I've always wanted these things on Valentine's Day.

When I was younger, every year my dad would give me a box of chocolates and it would make my day. When I was 4 years old my brother saved his allowance and bought me a rose at school and brought it home for me on valentine's day. I felt SO special. One year in provo after slaving all day at the restaurant I came home to a valentine from all my north carolina guy friends (and I might still have it).

And, although I don't recall many horrible valentine's days, I never managed to have a boyfriend on valentine's day until Cary. Our first year was spent 6,000 miles apart. He mailed me a package with a love letter I'll save forever and valentine's peeps (if that isn't love, I don't know what is). Last year, I had to work all night at Verizon. It wasn't the best work day but I came home to shrimp linguine, spinach arugula salad, and we went to a fancy dinner the next night.

But, this year was my best valentine's day yet!

I know that Cary loves me everyday, and he is good about reminding me, and suprising me throughout the year, but with a newborn (especially), cheesy romance takes a back burner to massive spit ups and lack of sleep.

Cary bought me roses (yes, I'm usually the cynic that says they will just die--but come on, they're gorgeous), and wrote me a love note, and took me to my favorite restaurant... and on top of it all, Zoey laughed at all the funny things we said tonight! That girl has great comedic timing and I laughed so hard my face hurt.

Today,

I'm grateful for a cheesy commercialized holiday to celebrate how lucky i am to have Cary in my life. I wouldn't pick anyone else, and I look forward to many wonderful Valentine's Days to come...

***title: rip whitney houston, i loved some of your music***

Falling slowly sing your melody

Happy 3 month birthday Zoey!!!

People ask us all the time, if we can't remember life without you?

Well, I can, vaguely, remember what it feels like to be well-rested, have a flat stomach, and run all my errands in one trip... but life is definitely more entertaining with you around.

You are such a bubbly, fun little baby. You are easy going and you started really laughing this week! We're not sure if you actually think we're funny, or just crazy, but either way we LOVE your laughs and do everything we can to encourage them.

You are getting soo big (well to us at least). You're 12 lbs, and blazed out of your newborn clothes about 3 weeks ago, right past 0-3 mo, and even your 3 mo clothes are almost too short. You are definitely a tall, slender little girl.

Your favorite book is Dr. Seuss's ABC, you always try to mimic whatever exercise your mom is doing, and you especially love getting out and seeing the world (as well as all the attention everyone gives you--quite the social butterfly already).

Baby girl, we love you, and are so glad you came to our family. We truly couldn't have designed a better baby. You are the perfect addition and we are excited for you to continue growing and keep us on our toes.

Love,
Mom and Dad



So spoiled... hanging out in bed.



Hanging with dad



Getting dressed






All dressed up



Love those cheeks.



Ok, she's giving me the finger... I think she's done with photos

In my mind I'm going to carolina

Superbowl, schmuperbowl.

TODAY is game day.

UNC v DUKE 9 pm EST.

I mean, it's only the biggest rivalry in college basketball, and the 2nd biggest sports rivalry ever behind yankee/red sox.

This rivalry dates back to 1920 and has continued with at least 2 games per season often determining the ACC champion.

They have played a total of 232 games with UNC winning 131 of those :) These teams are neck and neck with the most season championships, ACC championships, and UNC is 3rd for all time NCAA championships (5) and Duke is 5th (4).

I mean, in the last 30 years UNC and Duke account for 27% of the NCAA championships, one of these teams has been pre-season ranked #1 at least 50% of the time and ranked at least top three 72% of the time.

This all just boils down to.... a really good game. UNC is currently smoking hot, and Duke well, not so much. Guess we'll see who shows up to play tonight :)

GO HEELS!!!!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Mmmhmm... baby wouldn't go back to sleep at 4 am. So guess who gets put in her snowsuit and then plopped in bed with mom.

Oh yes, we do what we gotta do in the tippets household.

baby come on ooh ooh ooh ooh

I was supposed to wake up baby girl an hour and a half ago... according to the baby books.

The thing is, as much as I try to encourage a schedule, she does what she wants.

She doesn't sleep great at night, some nights she crashes at 8, some nights she's wide awake til midnight. I just don't know.

And I'm exhausted.

And apparently she's exhausted too. So far she's slept through a fire alarm and me taking a picture of her.



The way she sleeps is too funny, right?

The problem is... she was supposed to wake up an hour and a half ago, so I've pretty much wasted the last hour waiting for her to wake up so I can feed her. Oy vey.

Tips? Advice? Comments? Concerns.... actually you can probably just keep those to yourself, this first time mom does a good enough job worrying I'm screwing my kid up :)

You make my dreams come true

Happy Groundhog Day!!!

The first groundhog day I ever celebrated was with good friends, Liz and Jim Pittcavage!

(borrowed photo from liz's fb page)

We watched the movie groundhog day and ate stovetop popcorn thanks to Jim.

I thought the movie was extremely depressing. I felt so bad for the guy and just wanted the day to end.

However, I watched it again while feeding baby and decided it's not so bad. So perhaps you should curl up with some popcorn and enjoy a little cinematic celebration of this fine/ridiculous holiday!

(call me if you need to borrow it)

Oh and the groundhog did see his shadow. 6 more weeks of winter to which I say BRING IT ON!!! With an average temp of 70 degrees, it can be winter til May according to me!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I'm supposed to be working on a talk for church this sunday.

The topic is Christ before his mortal ministry

(basically what can we learn about Christ in the Old Testament and how that has impacted my life).

I'm at a loss. Any tips would be GREATLY appreciated.

So,

rather than reading conference talks and the scriptures,

I'm reading about parenting (hey, at least I'm not reading tabloid websites),

and I came across this great article!

Quirky Discipline Rules That Work

(You should really just read it, she says it better than I could)

But, quick glance for those who don't want to read the whole article:

1. You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work too.

-Brilliant. They either really want to be with you and will help, or they'll leave you to get things done.

2. I don't work past 8 p.m.

-If they want bedtime stories and what not, no dragging their feet. Ahh I forsee watching Grey's Anatomy in peace...

3. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit

-Basically a more pleasing way to say life's not fair

4. Take that show on the road

-As a mom you really don't have to watch/listen to them perform hours on end or try to talk over them, they can continue playing in another room.

5. We don't argue about money

-Stop begging before it begins. If you say you're not buying something, end of discussion. Two sided though, you have to allow your children to spend their money how they choose.

6. I can't understand you when you speak like that

-Validate feelings, but don't tolerate whining, screaming, rude or otherwise unacceptable language.

7. There's no such thing as boredom

-Encourages kids to entertain themselves, use their imagination, etc.

I represent an entire generation

When you get pregnant the waves of advice never seem to stop.

Everyone's opinion about baby essentials was especially confusing.

I mean, some people were telling me to buy baby wipe warmer's (how ridiculous, as far as I'm concerned a little cold wipe on the tush should be incentive to not wake me up in the middle of the night ;)) to my parents saying all I needed were diapers, onesies, carseat and a crib.

And, though there is a lot of truth to my parents opinion, there have been a few other items that have been fabulous with zoey and made my life so much easier.


Como tomo bottles- absurdly expensive, but they make switching between nursing and bottle seamless, which according to friends is amazing, and according to me worth the money.


















Bouncy Chair, or anything really that will hold the baby that they will sit in, because sometimes you need your hands free and they don't want to be on the floor.





















SwaddleMe- Straightjacket for babies. It keeps babies from waking themselves up during their more active dreams. For a baby who moves a ton--it really does make a big difference in how long she will stay asleep.





















Snowsuit- Ok, this one is probably purely a Zoey thing... but the kid will not stay swaddled in a blanket. She hates to be confined. So a suit covers all her limbs, getting her toasty warm and she falls right asleep. Don't judge me--but we have nights where I'm desperate and put her to bed in her snowsuit because it worked.















Nursing cover- I just sewed one (from this pattern), but it's so much easier than fumbling with a blanket.

Oh and of course the boppy (or as Cary likes to say, my breast friend)... baby is conditioned so when I grab the pillow she calms down because she knows she's getting fed. Also, I'm able to write these oh-so-informative blogs because the pillow frees up a hand!

Anyhow, I'm not saying any of these items are neccesities, simply that to this tired mama these are worth every penny, buy again in a heartbeat items.

What are your baby essentials?

Lala how the life goes on

Stories of Nary

Wow, life got the better of me and killed my blogging momentum, but what better way to get back to business than with a Nary story.

One night during Christmas break, I am up feeding Zoey and my nose starts to run. Generally trying to be considerate of Cary sleeping (why do we both need to be sleep deprived?), I try to get through the feeding, but eventually decide I desperately need a tissue. So I nudge Cary and ask him to hand me a tissue (he was sleeping next to the tissues).

This is where Nary enters.

I ask for a tissue, and Cary hands me March of the Penguins on dvd. Then rolls over and goes back to sleep.

I stare quizzically at Cary and attempt to finish feeding Zoey, but within 5 minutes the snot is about to drip down my face and I am forced to again wake up Cary.

I say "Cary, I really need that tissue."

NARY responds "What the crap! I already gave you a tissue."

Me: "Ummm no, you handed me March of the Penguins"

Nary: "Why would I hand you March of the Penguins?"

Me: "That's a great question. No idea, but I need a tissue. NOW"

Nary: exasperated tone "Oh my gosh. Geez, here's your tissue"

Again... the hilarity factor definitely increases once my nose is wiped and morning comes when I can tell Cary about his late night alter ego.

Oh Nary...

Children behave, that's what they say when we're together

Baby is going through another growspurt, which means she eats every 2 hours, which means I'm not sleeping.

Yay.

I find it slightly less miserable if I pass the hours by reading random blogs (material that generally doesn't require much thought).

Anyhow,

Cary is trying to be supportive, and since Nary is no help, he goes ahead and takes the baby after the 7-9ish feeding and lets me get a nap before she eats next.

So this morning after I finish feeding the baby,

Cary offers to take the baby and I keep reading the blogs on my ipod.

He then tells me "put the ipod away you're supposed to be sleeping!"

I slide the ipod under my pillow.

Cary: "Just like a kid (scolding look), you're just gonna pull it right out when I leave"

Me: "No, I'm not"

Cary: "Yeah you are, give it to me"

Cary then lunges for the ipod, me: "NO I won't" as I throw it across the room

Yeah...

Mmmhmmm...

We're totally ready to be parents.

All the other kids with the...

Sometimes a laugh can fix a rough morning...



Thank You Ellen!

Don't you blink you might miss it

tidbits about zoey

3. Zoey is 2 months old today! Happy 2 months baby girl. She is almost out of newborn clothes, starting to vocalize more, sleeping better, getting cuter by the day, and... a pretty advanced baby ;)

yeah, yeah, yeah every new parent thinks their kid is advanced, but let's check out the milestone chart at babycenter.com

Advanced Skills for 2 months
Holds head steady-check
Can bear weight on legs- check
lifts head and shoulders during tummy time- check

Emerging skills for 3 months
Squeals, gurgles, coos- check
Recognizes your voice- (well mine, cary, and grandma) check

Advanced Skills for 3 months
Turns toward loud sound- check
Can bring hands together and bat at toys- check

Holding her own bottle!

So for the record baby girl... you're advanced! (Nevermind that she was 2 weeks late (and yes, I reserve the right to hold that against her for as long as I want))

It doesn't matter as long as we got eachother

Sometimes being in the student phase of life isn't always the greatest...
and then around comes Christmas break.

Cary has been home for a whole month! It has been glorious!

I LOVE having him around. We're definitely not a couple who gets tired of each other or needs our own space. I wish he could stay home all the time. We often ask ourselves why we didn't pull a bieber and make millions in our teens so we could stay home and raise our baby (maybe babies in the future) together, then open an ice cream shop as our retirement from parenting.

All I can say is
he has a pretty flexible schedule and gets to be home more often than most husbands/fathers...
but Zoey and I already miss having him around. Hurry up Spring Break!!!

Just look over your shoulder

tidbits about zoey

2. Zoey is already my little social butterfly. She loves going to crowded places and constantly looking around. She will let anyone hold her. And she's especially happy being held up to your shoulder so she can look over and see what's going on...

And he don't know...

Stories of Nary

Nary is Cary's alter ego, also known as Negative Cary. He only shows up in the middle of the night when awoken from a deep sleep. You would think after being married over a year, I would have encountered Nary before recent events... but I didn't often get up in the middle of the night before recent events.

The discovery of Nary

About 2 weeks after Zoey was born, I was getting up every 2 hours to feed baby girl and one night in the rush to calm the crying kiddo I forgot to grab the extra pillows at the end of the bed to lean against.

So, even though I try to avoid waking Cary up in the middle of the night (I want him to be rested for school, so he can get good grades, graduate and make lots of money), I tap him on the shoulder and ask him to hand me the pillows that are literally 3 feet from his hand.

Cary, turns, stares at me, and then with a voice of exasperation states "I'm too tired," and rolls over and falls back asleep.

Oh, was I steaming at that point. I was so angry--he's tired!?!?!

About an hour later as I'm rocking HIS baby back to sleep, he wakes up a little and asks a question which I answered in a snappy, irritated manor. He then asks why I'm so angry, and I refresh his memory of the previous encounter and he claims he has no recollection.

Hence, the realization that Cary has an uncontrolled, rude, alternate personality between the hours of midnight and 6am.


Stay tuned for more Nary stories... they're funny (once I get over the initial anger)

Play the music low

tidbits about zoey
(for those who aren't close anymore to get to know her yourself)

1. Zoey will not fall asleep on her own. She requires rocking, which the first few weeks of life nearly killed my back (rocking while standing, she knows when you're sitting and screams in protest)... until I discovered her love of music. She will almost always fall asleep within 10 minutes if you rock her and sing her to sleep.

Cary and I have decided she's destined to be a great singer with regular exposure to some of the greats at such a young age. She's also destined to write a novel titled "My life is a bad musical" because Cary and I are the worst singers you've ever heard....

She still gets a look of suprise when we burst into song... someday she'll just hang her head in shame.

December never felt so wrong...

No posts about zoey's first christmas.

I'll confess, december didn't go how I had planned, ok hoped. I was just trying to stay on top of the basics and didn't really touch on christmas celebrations/traditions at all.

C'est la vie.

It's a new year and I am getting a fresh start!

A few years ago I finally discovered a few keys to successfully completing my new years resolutions. First, keep it to 3 or 4 (generally, a spiritual, physical and intellectual for me) this keeps you from getting overwhelmed. Second, the goal has to be measurable (i.e. lose 10 pounds, not just "get in shape"). Third, you have to be accountable--whether to family, friend, cyberspace, whatever works.

My spiritual goal this year is to actually have Family Home Evening every monday. Before Zoey, I was great at dismissing FHE because every night was Cary and I at home... (if you ever need excuses I'm really good at them).

Anyhow, now that I'm a parent I figure there's a few things I should at least try to do ;)

Monday, we discussed our goals for the year, broke them down for the week and will report back next week on our progress. We also discussed President Monson's new years message, specifically attitude--a key to success in any area.

“Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.” -Charles Swindoll

At least she has grandma's that buy her christmas ornaments and outfits :)

We're gonna party like, like it's two thousand and twelve

Happy New Year!

Baby girl slept while we rang in the new year...



In true mormon fashion, sparkling juice and all



Cary even has the drunken stupor down


And then we called it a night at 10:30... yup, yup we're majorly sleep deprived newbie parents. We don't sneer at the opportunity for sleep even if societal norms mock us for tunring in early.

It's been quite the year! Lots of fun times and good changes, but also probably the first since I was 11 years old where I didn't think "where has the year gone, I can't believe it's already New Years!" Eh, pregnancy can do that to ya...

Here's to a new year, full of parenting adventures, warmer weather, new friends in our new town and whatever else comes our way!

She's got hair like a superstar.... (not so much)

Zoey has developed Alopecia.

I'm pretty distraught. Yes, I suppose I am extremely shallow and would like my baby girl to keep her hair... but, it's more an extreme sense of guilt since she only lost all her hair after I gave her a bath last night. Her hair is still just as thick on the back of her head, but the top is totally bald! She has the hairline of a 50 year old man....

Or her 26 year old father?

You tell me?

It doesn't help that she's also developed a farting problem to rival an 80 year old man. Sigh, I have a lot to teach her about being a lady!

Oooh this is how it starts

Zoey is 1 month old!

(And she hates taking pictures as much as her mom)


stats on Zoey:

-She's starting to put some chub on. She weighs 9 lb 8 oz! Meaning she went from the 32% in weight up to the 50%. Such a good little eater! And she's in the 83rd% for height. (I don't know how I made a tall baby, but I'm real happy for her)

-She started smiling her 2nd week, but it still happens right after a good meal or after passing gas... but i suppose those two things make a lot of people smile

-Her first laugh in her sleep was on thanksgiving day

-She started tracking me with her eyes at 2 1/2 weeks.

-She holds her head up and looks around... this started early, but she's definitely getting stronger and almost to the point where I don't have to worry about supporting her neck

-She absolutely hates sleeping on her back, will tolerate her side, and sleeps best on her tummy. This makes me slightly paranoid about SIDS, but sleep deprivation wins and we do our best to make it safe for her to sleep on her side or tummy.

- Everytime she cries for more than a minute, cary plays me a lame movie about the period of purple crying... it doesn't help the situation.

-Cary wanted me to include, that she finally loves him more than her grandma. (He thinks she doesn't really love him--not true just different than her adoration of the baby whisperer).

Lately, she really likes to go through 3 diapers in about 15 minutes. She has this thing about waiting until she's in a clean diaper to finish her business. Family tells me that newborns don't plot--but if you could see her grin, you'd doubt too. I think she knows what she's doing and finds herself hilarious.

Seriously though, she's more fun every day and we're excited for all the big milestones to come!

And honestly to look you in the eye, it's easier to lie

I have a beautiful, healthy baby.

It'd be really easy to just post pictures of her and pretend life is shiny and perfect. It's easy to only mention the funny ancedotes and happy moments and allow everyone else to fill in the blanks with visions of a well adjusted mom who has finally reached her calling in life.

But why do I have to lie?

Because I'm afraid you'll quit reading? Possibly. But people listen to horribly depressing songs all the time. Because I'm afraid to admit I'm not perfect? Perhaps. Doesn't everyone want to be the person who makes it all seem easy. Because I am too prideful? Obviously. I only have one kid, and a supportive husband and my pride tells me that I am extremely capable of taking care of a baby.

And yet...

I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel defeated... by a cute (not so chubby) 8 lb baby girl.

I can't say that there's been one thing to tip me over the edge. It's everything. The three 2 hour bouts of sleep because of nighttime feedings that are supposed to get me from day to day are definitely catching up with me. The physical pain that typically begs a few days rest to recover, which will never happen. The heartbreak of that ;ittle quivering bottom lip when I can't figure out what my baby needs followed by desperation to make the crying stop. The inability to stay on top of chores, which equals a dirty home and is not helping with the lack of peace in my life. The exhaustion that compels me to collapse whenever possible, verses the need to stay on top of daily tasks and needs such as bathing and eating. The guilt of not doing anything to meet Cary's needs, when he's the only thing getting me from day to day.

And then of course there is my body image--i place way too much value on my appearance. The philosophy it took 9 months to gain the weight, it'll take time to lose it doesn't comfort me. My previously flat sculpted stomach from hours of concentrated workouts is now in a sad state of shriveled excess skin and stretch marks that no amount of ab workouts will ever make look half as good as helen mirren in a bikini. Nothing fits, which often crushes all resolve to get out and pull myself out of this rut. I pull the fat pants back on and one of Cary's t-shirts and allow myself to stay in all day.

If I could change even one thing would it be enough? I don't know. I suppose the only therapy I could come up with was to get it off my chest. So here it is.

Please don't feel the need to come to my rescue.

Like the title says "it's easier to lie." Ah, the weird quirk of my generation. We'll post our darkest feelings on the internet, but if you ask us point blank, we'll lie.

I have a case of the baby blues. Perhaps, I just needed to write it down so I remember what to expect next time.

Despite it all,
Let's just say,
I'm not so down that I don't still thank the heavens every day that I'm no longer pregnant!

Oh and for those who just look for pictures (I know you do mom, it's ok :) Here's a little humor to sum it all up.

I can tell by your eyes that you're not getting any sleep

I have started countless blog posts in the past weeks, and then baby girl wakes up or something else comes up and I never seem to finish writing the posts. So... maybe one of these days I'll finish them, but for today I'll just share a moment of my life via pictures.

Zoey loves sleeping in this position. What a goof!



I caught her laughing in her sleep. I wish she would laugh when she's awake, but I enjoy it while she's napping too. Wonder what she's dreaming about--probably her dad's dancing ;)



I'll be honest, sometimes life with a newborn feels a little overwhelming and I pause and think "What have I gotten myself into? Oh, what I would give for a 5 hour stretch of sleep!" And then she giggles in her sleep and it cracks me up and melts my heart. Those laughs get me through another day and hopefully soon they'll become daytime giggles and nighttime slumber.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Family Dinner at the Tippets Residence

(Friend's brought us dinner tonight (it was delicious))

(**These friends have a 2 months old baby boy, which is how the conversation got started**)

Cary: Hey Zoey, your boyfriend is 13 lbs. How do you feel about that?

Carla: Oooh we have a chubby chaser on our hands.

Zoey: [thought: why won't they give me my pacifier]

Carla: ooh or you could go for J.B. I mean he's a year older than you, but definitely a good looking little boy... and he has cool parents too.

Cary: Well, it's not like you have much competition so I suppose you can make up your mind later.

Carla: Well there is [good looking friend's in the ward]'s daughter. She'll make for some stiff competition Zoey.

Cary: Whatever Zoey, your mom is much more conniving. [Good looking friend in the ward]'s lost her edge.

Carla to Cary: Conniving huh? I'm not sure how I got dragged into this... [dirty look]

Zoey: [coincidentally makes same dirty look]

**Haha I forsee lots of great dinner conversations once Zoey can also verbally contribute**