We've got the dreamer's disease

Ok, due to a three week absence from blogging I'm going to break my post into 4 segments to make it more digestable and favorable to your palate, a.k.a. nobody reads a post that's too long.

Last Month in Review, Post 1: London

(I'll keep this like the Atlanta review... top ten and tidbits)

1. Broadway Shows! I got to see Les Miserable and The Lion King. Both were amazing! I enjoyed Les Mis more for the music, but The Lion King's set design was breathtaking.





2. Crossiants- the breakfast of choice in London. Yeah, they are good. Especially the chocolate ones. However, I'm not sure I can convert to the crossiant a day diet.



3. My first hostel experience. This was a great experience. The hostel we stayed at was really nice. It's like a dorm room with two bunk beds, lockers for 4 and a small (very small) bathroom. It's clean and just has basic sheets. So you bring your own towel and toiletries. It reminded me a lot of EFY/Youth conference where we stayed in dorms. It would have been perfect; however, I unfortunately was sick my second day in London, and flu like symptoms need to be nursed with a fluffy comforter and basic cable. **Note to self: when getting sick, hostel is one of the least favorable locations**



4. The Underground is easy and the most affordable travel option in London. Also they advertise these magical gnome gummies (two of my loves smooshed into one!), alas I never found these magical gummies though.



5. Portobello Road. (Famously depicted in the movie Notting hill) A market that takes up several miles on the street, there are many different shops as well as street vendors. They sell everything from antiques, jewelry, shoes, food, bikes, paintings, clothing, souvenirs... you name it, they probably sell it.





6. Castle tours are more enjoyable than the actual castle. Or perhaps I am just a sucker for the Beefeater's cliche jokes...





7. London has lots of free museums, which when you're spending as much as you are on everything else, is a pleasant bonus. I loved the Natural History Museum! Definitely worth your time if you're headed to London.

8. Traveling in cold, winter months is a bit of a downer. It's not so bad if you stay well bundled... however, this doesn't make for good pictures. On the bright side, there's a lot less tourists, some activities are cheaper, and you don't have to worry about the sunburn...

9. Overall, London is a more expensive place to visit (think NYC) but it's a lot of fun, and you can definitely adapt the trip to meet your budget. It was fun to have a balance of the regular tourist trap sites as well as other attractions. And Broadway is a must... really what better way to spend an evening?

... Oh are you waiting for No. 10? Right, I suppose I said this was a top ten list... eh, how about just ending with some fav. pictures?

If I were a boy... I think I could understand

I apologize for my lack of blogging, especially in light of my promises to blog on a regular basis upon moving to Europe... as I have new discoveries worth mentioning daily. However, I find that between e-mailing, facebooking, g-chatting, skyping, and generally explaining things on a regular basis I don't always posess the desire to "journal" my adventures on the blog. However, in an attempt to get me going on documenting the last month, let me just share my most recent discovery... for my outdoor/adventure female readers.

I present to you....




Yes, the freshette. "If you are an active outdoor woman you know what a hassle it can be trying to urinate when restrooms are unsanitary or unavailable. The alternative of having to get halfway undressed can result in exposure to the elements and embarrassment. This is where the Sports & Travel Freshette plays a vital role, Allowing you to urinate while standing, requiring minimal or no undressing!"

For the low price of $23.95, you can relieve yourself standing up!

As much as I find this amusing and somewhat funny, I can't help but think I would have paid 24 bucks to have this while hiking Timp.

Feedback:
a) Brilliant or just weird?
b) Would you use this? In what circumstances?
c) Technicalities... are these devices ever as easy to use as they seem?

Darling it's better down where it's wetter

Just read this on msnbc:

Researchers in Germany found that drinking two 8-ounce glasses of cold water increased their subjects' metabolic rate by 30%, and the effect persisted for 90 minutes.

Fascinating.... So why the crap are you denying me water, Germany?!?!? WHY??????????

Well I'm on my, I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way

Some of you might have made fun of me in the past because I frequently proclaim that I'm not sick, because I refuse to get sick. Colds are defiantly warded off by not indulging my runny nose, and mind over matter typically wins.

I, however, am sad to report that I have met my demise whilst chilling in Germany, and I blame the kids. Ha ha, typical I suppose, but seriously I haven't hung around kids in a long time and now I live in the basement apartment of a girl who has two little one's, which we all know are just disease carrying hosts waiting for an unsuspecting college student (post college, whatever) to come their way.

If I was more talented with computers I would post the clip from You've Got Mail where she's home sick and he brings her daisies and she says "my head feels fuzzy." It'd be great and you're blog stalking ways would be satisfied...

Alas, since I lack such skills, I will resort to entertaining you with more of my German discoveries (do not be confused, some of these have no relation to Germany, merely that I am in Germany while happening upon these discoveries).

1. Driving 100 mph on the autobahn is AWESOME! Whoever said speeding doesn't really get you anywhere was wrong. It gets you everywhere, and in a timely manner.

2. Döner equals delicious. See picture.



3. Fake nails are not conducive to winning a competitive game of Nertz. Since my need to win a random pick up game is greater than my need to look good... the likelihood of my ever splurging on fake nails again is slim.

4. Europe is a continent of dehydrated folk. The human body is some 75%ish water... in most of the world. In Europe it's more like 68% beer and 7% water. I recently paid 3 euros (about 5 bucks) for .25mL (about 8 oz) water. This is absurd! Seriously, drinking water is not only a basic human right, but should be complimentary when you're paying 15 to 20 euros for a meal.

From now on, that tacky American seen carrying her own Nalgene bottle into restaurants will be Carla.

5. Germany builds overpasses for animals. They're covered with trees and grass. So animal friendly here...



6. The girls military uniforms seriously need redesigning. I believe I could more than adequately design uniforms that are functional yet not so hideous. In fact I could design uniforms considered flattering, and modest (there's enough sexual harrassment suits as it is). If anyone knows who I should contact about this, let me know. I'm thinking I'll shoot a little e-mail over to Obama with my ideas.




Oh and two funny stories relating to peeps over here:

1. We were at dinner and talking about how people are light/heavy sleepers and one of the girls I'm friends with told a story of how her cat gave birth to kittens on top of her bed while she was sleeping in it. Gross, eh? I'm baffled at how one can sleep through such a strenuous and painful process for any mammal, but then I unfortunately am a light sleeper...

2. The 1 year old girl who lives upstairs is a bit on the chubby side. I was helping her get ready to go out, so i put a shirt on and kept trying to pull the shirt down, but it kept popping up just like the mouse's shirt on cinderella. It was pretty hilarious, and if anyone wants to rub her belly for good luck I'm only charging one euro :)





WELL, that's all for now, heading to France on Wednesday-so stay tuned

Gotta let me live, gotta let me do for me, gotta let me learn...

So I did it, I took the leap, despite the doubters out there, and I made it to Germany! Am I crazy, well of course I am. Nobody moves to a country where they don't speak the language without being a little off their rocker, but if thousands of people can move to the states and make it work, I can certainly get by for a few months in Germany.

Here's some of the things I've learned thus far...

1. I like Icelandair...

a) 33 in. of legroom, perfect for my 31 in legs (no, 2 in really doesn't make that much difference, a plane is still uncomfortable when you're on it for 6 hours straight)

b) No ice in the drinks allowing for more beverage

c) Though there's no food, not even peanuts for a 6 hour flight, they do offer free entertainment (free being the key here, most airlines do not maintain this word in their vernacular)

d) Said free entertainment is also edited for language and content. Ha here were some of the funniest replacement phrases
1) Did you bag her?
2) Toe job
3) Son of a brick

-If you find these offensive do not, I repeat do not watch the free entertainment on Iceland air. I however, enjoyed watching Lie to me and Burn notice.

2. Iceland is really dark. At 8 am, it was pitch black and I couldn't see any stars. Hmmm...

3. Cuckoo clocks are annoying. They're chirping is especially annoying in the middle of the night. And this is compounded by the multiple clocks that can be found in german homes.

4. Knudsens sparkling cherry juice is just like cough syrup, smell and everything.

5. Living in Germany is going to be texting detox for me... I can't wait to get back to the states and come back with a vengenance. Expect lots of text messages in about 6 months.

6. This won't really be a break from American life. The exchange rate for the dollar is kind of terrible, so I'll probably stick to American groceries and everything else on base, except when traveling.

Well, every day is a new experience. I hope this all works out for me.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip

Some ponderings...

So imagine you were stuck on a desert island, and you got to choose one other person to be stuck with you.



Many would choose their boyfriend/girlfriend because they enjoy spending time with them blah blah blah (let's not focus on how selfish it is to choose him/her to be stuck on a desert island, thus ruining his/her future as well).

Ok... it gets a little crazier after this, but stick with me, I'm curious about everyone's opinion.

So, you're on a desert island. Just the two of you. Your options are to get married or to not get married (committing adultery is not an option, we're rolling with the assumption that you are mormon, sorry folks). Now, I realize this wouldn't be a temple marriage, but since you are the only two people on the island you could decide on the law and then lawfully be wed.

So I'm just gonna conclude you choose to get married, because well you chose this person to be stuck with you, and it could be a very long time (or you could die) so you might as well just get married.

So here's my question (finally, right?). Do you just say we're married and that's that, or do you make up some kind of ritual/event/phrase anything to make it feel like you actually did something to pass from singledom to marriage?

I thought there should be something ridiculous such as the gentleman must swim around the island 3 times, followed by blah blah blah...

Items to consider:

1. Is the island the size of the island on Lost? or much smaller?
2. Is there just beach on the island, or do you also have forest?
3. After being on a desert island are you afraid you'll realize you made a poor decision of who to bring?
4. Or are you hoping to be like gilligan's island--who got lost after only a 3 hour tour--pretty much making it highly realistic that you will be found within a week.

I'm thinking over the things that you said

I've been home for the past two weeks and I've realized that my family might have some small issues with communication.

For those who think I am judgemental and unfairly assessing my family (cause what do I know, when I only come home for Christmas). I say to you, good point. However, here are just two examples from dinner.

Emily: "Yeah my flight leaves at 3 pm and lands at 10 pm."
Mom: "Isn't that amazing that planes are so fast. Although I really liked Mammoth park."

Ummm yes... many faces from Carla... followed by, "I'm sorry, those two sentences are in no way correlated? Am I the only one who is lost?"

(Translation for you: Yes, planes are fast; however, because we drove to Missouri we were able to stop at Mammoth park, which I really enjoyed.)

Now, as though one example ever proved anything. Enter Heather.

Emily: "I really want to learn how to can."
Heather: "Canning requires sugar."

Well, clearly canning requires sugar, so I suppose you would have to hear Heather's tone, but it was said as though sugar was a huge problem. Eventually the missing conversation was explained to me (Emily is on a no sugar diet).

I get what you're thinking... these aren't a big deal Carla. But imagine a whole dinner with sentences missing and soon you're in a puddle of despair wondering what happened to basic english.

May, I also point out that Emily (the english professor) is the common link in these two stories. Just saying...

As long as there is thirst, there's always...

The beauty of coming home for more than 3 days at Christmas is the opportunity provided for your family to remember all the ridiculous things you have done throughout your life and bring them back up to declare your stupidity to the world.

Let me share one such instance for your unbridled enjoyment.

As I recall this event occured during either the summer of '98 or '99. At this time in my young adult (yes, I use that loosely) life, my family would take summer vacations to the beach. During these warm, endless, sunny days, my brother and I thought it was much more entertaining to utilize sunscreen for temporary tattoo's as opposed to the intended overall sun protection Waterbabies advocates.

We typically would fashion a batman, superman or large A on my brother's chest in the vain hopes that he would be permanently (a few months) branded. Well, I can't say that any of our attempts actually resulted in anything more than a slight discoloration of his chest.

So when my sister dared me to write a sunscreen tattoo on my leg, I quickly agreed and thought it would be little more than the front of my legs looking a shade lighter than the back.

Of course, as my family is very classy, her inspiration for my less than flattering mark can be traced to a popular ad campaign at the time. Let me refresh your memory...





Yes, I wrote "Make 7" on one leg and "Up Yours" on the other, only to have it become the most successful sunscreen tattoo anyone has ever seen. My bishop found it particularly unnerving that following Sunday to look down from the podium and see an innocent Beehive with her legs crossed and read "Up Yours."

And as though the humiliation of having obscenities tanned into my legs last through the entire winter isn't enough, my family brings these stories up at dinner 10 years later.

Gotta love family.

Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!! (ok my post is a few days late... whatever)

I rang in the New Year in Atlanta. And here's the top ten things I loved about Atlanta.

1. Coke World was awesome and this was one of my favorite commercials.



2. A hair salon named "Oh My Nappy Hair" Salon.

3. Virginia Tech beating Tennessee at the Chick-fil-A bowl.

4. All the little boys dressed in suits at church.


Well, technically they were all young black boys; however, google image finder sucks. You get the point.

5. Shopping at Ikea. Ha ha, I don't know why this is such a thrill for me...

6. Copeland's Cheesecake. Food was great! Cheesecake was great!Good way to end the day.

7. Petting a shark at the aquarium!

8. Seeing the piranha's at the aquarium (Piranha's are my favorite).



9. Great seats at the Atlanta Hawks v. New York Knicks game.

10. Seeing the peach drop.


Well, it wasn't all that exciting, but it was something to do.

You pull me closer to love

I'm leaving for Germany!

Holy cow, it's been a little crazy getting to this point, but I'm leaving at the end of the week. And I can't help but want to give my shout-outs...

I keep thinking of the lyrics from Wicked's "For Good":

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you....

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Ok, ok this post is starting to sound like I'm dying, or moving permanently which is not the case, but as it is a new year, full of new year's resolutions and all that jazz, it's a great time to thank all of those who have definitely made an impact on my life over the past year or two in P-town.



Jo: My friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, my roommate, my consultant, my voice of reason, the list goes on and on. I am surely better because of our friendship and I count my blessings everyday for having moved into your apartment in august 2007. Thanks.



Those who made work at the macshack bearable. Lots to name, none of which actually read my blog, but good co-workers make all the difference at work and they're free on call therapists/life coaches/motivational speakers/career counselors/comedians and overall just good friends. Thanks.






To my roadtrip buddies: Cassie and Dee you guys are awesome friends. It's not just anybody that I would choose to spend any amount greater than thirty minutes in the car with, and give me a car and a credit card and the two of you are definitely on the top of my list for an adventure. Thanks.



Becca: You just encourage me to do all the crazy things that pop into my mind, and for that you are truly awesome. It takes a remarkable friend to encourage craziness, and an even better one to join in. Thanks.



Cary: You definitely impacted my last half of the year for the better. And though some boyfriends would never forgive me moving 5,000 miles away... you said "it's not everyday you get to see the world carla morgan, just make sure to come back" Thanks for being the best "on-pause" boyfriend I've ever had (and no, that is not mocking the fact that you're the only "on-pause boyfriend" I've ever had).

So here's to another crazy year... can't wait to catch up over some Kneaders/Zupas/Cafe Rio/Hospital food/and everywhere else we frequent.

Gotta get home this year

My sister had a bad date. She told me about the boy's complete lack of conversation abilities and described the date as a bad game of twenty questions. One such question being "Who is your favorite President?"

This begs the question who has a favorite president? Or more importantly, why would you ask this on a first date (supposing you are not both poli sci majors who lack interests relating to the general population)?

Of course, upon 2 more seconds of pondering I find the abundance of possible answers fascinating. This lowly gentlemen's reponse was "Abraham Lincoln of course! (which in and of itself defends my sisters position to never go on a date with this bloke again).

Why Abraham Lincoln of course? Just cause he helped prevent us from being a nation divided?

What about Theodore Roosevelt, who instigated the national parks system, providing me with lots of great vacation memories. Or Andrew Johnson, who couldn't even read. What a role model, to prove that something as small as illiteracy should never hold you back. How about Andrew Jackson, who created the spoils system, teaching americans that you should never leave your friends behind for success... bring them along. Heck, or JFK, presiding with style! Heck, one could even argue for President Palmer or President Bartlett. Oh the hour long conversation that could have been had if this boy had just one ounce of creativity or inclination towards a good debate. So sad...

On that note, though, I recently drove 40 (maybe +) hours across the country with a boy who is not lacking for interesting conversation. I would roadtrip with him again in a heartbeat.



He even got out to take pictures of state signs with me!



On our 3 hour detour through Chicago. We stopped for breakfast at the Bongo room, which is worth a 3 hour detour even in the middle of winter.

You still doubting me...



Ummm yeah, those are the delicious pancakes. Next time you're anywhere near the midwest... seriously, do yourself a favor and stop in

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

So, it was a good Christmas. The whole family was in town. Cary drove to North Carolina with me... more pictures and details on that to come.

Anyhow, on Christmas Eve we watched old home videos of Christmas mornings when we were younger and I'll be the first to admit I had a lot of attitude and was quite the little punk (although cute--in a punky brewster kind of way), but seriously.... who wants underwear for christmas???

Here is evidence of my early development and mastery of the infamous eye-roll.





Oh, and don't worry... this year we brought back the term "radical" with every gift opened.

So this is christmas, And what have you done

I wrote my parents Christmas card this year. I figured I'd post it for your enjoyment.

Merry Christmas,

Another month, another year, another decade has come and gone and we're all left wondering where it went. It's easy to reach another Christmas and wonder where the year has gone, but fortunately for us, society demands we revisit the details of the year for the benefit of our friends and family.

Due to mom and dad's busy schedules, I graciously offered to help with the Christmas preparations by writing the annual Christmas letter. Please note that I have not been home since last Christmas, making my observations (in some people's opinion) less than accurate :). May I also add my own disclaimer: The following is purely for classification sake and is not mutually exclusive as we are all siblings and certain character traits tend to run throughout families.

So I begin the detailing of all of our lives.

THE SUCCESSFUL ONE: Heather continues to lead the way for the Morgan children illustrating the pathway we all hope to someday walk down. Since a house and furnishings were the accomplishment of previous years, she decided it was impertinent that she acquires a large flat screen TV, and TiVo to entice the visitation of her siblings. We are all going green (with envy) and continue to attempt to model her example.

THE SMART ONE: Emily has established herself in Kansas City, Missouri as an educator (English Professor to be exact). Not only is Emily fighting the noble fight of demolishing poor syntax among our Mid-Western friends, she has taken it upon herself to spread important cultural knowledge to her students (they've never heard of The Office or Peanuts (the cartoon)... I know, hold back your outrage... Emily has come to the rescue)). She has also set herself apart as the other official adult in the family, having bought herself a lovely home this year.

THE MUSICIAN: No, Art does not receive this classification because of his incredible Guitar Hero skills. Though Arthur’s sisters have classical training with piano and violins, he has branched out into the world of rock, alternative and pop music (I told you I haven’t been home in a year, sorry I can’t be more specific). He is now part of a successful band, which performs mostly around Charlotte, North Carolina. However, keep an ear out for when he comes to your very own PC via ITunes.

THE TRAVELER: I continued my quest to see the majority of the United States this year reaching almost all but Disney World (clearly, one must save Disney for a special occasion). I embark on my adventures of Europe this coming year.

THE STUDENT: Jamie keeps us constantly informed of the latest and greatest YouTube videos, and though some may judge whether she is making the most of her college education, I’ll back her up by saying she would be a failure if her college experience didn’t keep her “in the know” where YouTube is concerned. And I am informed that she does actually go to class and has even picked a major , English (maybe she can edit this for me). Now, if she could just work on getting us UNC basketball tickets...

THE YOUNGEST: You may think that this is cheating Kimberly out of a title, but really it’s because she has too many to choose from... The Artist, The one who lives with mom and dad, The Peacemaker, The Swimmer, etc. Etc. In reality, Kimberly is the one waiting to accrue all our titles and blow us all away, but in the meantime she continues to hold down the fort at home, master a ridiculous amount of instruments, maintain her athletic prowess through swimming, and prepare for and aspire to artistic perfection at NYU. Look forward to her updates in future letters.

THE PARENTS: Though they continue to marvel at the direction each child has chosen, they can’t help but boast that they have quite the array of personalities, talents, and accomplishments pervading their brood. They have definitely assured that they will be taken care of and entertained in their old age, but to avoid early onset they have begun an impressive regimen of triathlons, 5 and 10k’s. I pray, may we not drive them crazy in this New Year!

If you made it all the way to the end of this gratuitous letter, thank you for indulging me and may your holidays be warm and bright.

Love,

The Morgan’s

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day

That's a lot of opportunities for deep philosophical soul searching thinking--- or in carla's case, menial, less than gratifying, imponderables.

I have had a most enduring dry spell in the blogging world. My creativity has dried up into a deep knotted creative black hole that continues to suck out any spark of imagination.... so in the attempt to pen something, namely anything, I'll share some of the more precious thoughts in my last 86,400 seconds.

1. Disney Princesses on Ice tickets are selling for $6... seriously? who knew the princesses were so cheap. Don't sell yourselves short ladies, it's a poor economy and we could all use a little comic relief, I could definitely spare 6 bucks to support the underpaid disney mascots skating around an ice rink.


2. New Jesse McCartney song... LOVE IT. Cheesy, horrible music, but have we not already established through my blog titles that I thrive off this crap.

3. Dear Omni Management,
You sent out a note stating the hot tub would be fixed as of last saturday, November 7, 2009. Although, we have faith in your ability to come through on your promises, the hot tub is currently still only full of leaves and dirt from **ahem** 12 months accumulation. Unless we are unaware of a new fangled contraption with which to heat the body sans warm water in the midst of snowy utah winter weather, we would appreciate it actually be filled. We apologize for the not so happy note, but let us know if we can do anything to get this project under construction (namely contact BYU housing again!).
Thank you,
Omni Tenants

4. Germany plans continue. I'm still planning on going despite the fact that my heart plummets into my stomach when I think about certain people I'm leaving behind in Provo, but I'm excited for the change and the little piece of adventure I can add to my repertoire. Think of all the awesome blog posts I'll have to keep you entertained!

For once in my life, I'm scared to death

So I don't want to make too big of a deal about this next piece of information, but I felt that I could share with those people who read my blog.

I've decided to move to Germany!

I'm terrified and excited all at the same time. I'll be leaving Utah in december and then flying to Germany in January.

My dad's main concern is that I will go over there and get swept off my feet by an airman (when I state that I made it this far being single his response, boys in provo are wimps and air force officers are confident go getters). Well, no need to fear, I will only touch their arm for 2 seconds at a time ;) (see previous post).

So, just let me know if you wanna stop by for a visit....

***oh yeah, and if you could not mention this to my employers (I should probably do that myself... and I'm waiting for the right time) I'd appreciate it, thanks... that's probably just you peter :)***

I could use someone like you and all you know

***Disclaimer: Sorry if I've already told you this story in person***

Sometimes, when I'm closing Jo will stop by work and help me close because she just got off work and Macaroni Grill is on the way home. One recent evening she stopped by and started a conversation with my manager about dating. He went on to express my need to get married. So rushing to my defense, I obviously inquire as to why it is so necessary that I get married (not that I am opposed, purely I feel defensive in that I don't think I'm a failure just because I'm single and 23). He explains that marriage will help me to mellow out. Now why will marriage mellow me out, I ask, it's not as if marriage is a cure all for personality shortcomings. His response: "Carla, getting some is like smoking mary j's everyday... you'll totally mellow out."

He then decides that he is going to hire my husband in this next hiring round and that I need to work on being able to get a guy. So he gives me three pieces of advice.

1. I need to break the physical contact barrier. This can be as simple as touching a guy's arm, but for NO LESS THAN 3 SECONDS. (ok, ok, that's easy enough)

2. I need to be teachable. I need to let a guy teach me something. (I struggled with this one, as I am not a stupid girl and I refuse to pretend to be one (he originally suggested I let guys teach me about waiting tables... please, I've trained most the guys at work.... not that I think i'm perfect but this just isn't realistic) ANYHOW, the point being that I'm a know it all and guys like to feel like they know more than the girl or at least can show her something. So I'm working on it.

3. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they're lame. (My goal... to find a guy who's jokes aren't lame.)

So, I promised to incorporate these pearls of wisdom into my daily life, which leads us to a story.

Why Carla is the biggest goober on the face of the planet :)

So Jo and I decide that the turnover in the ward is a great opportunity to experiment with Jesse's "How to Get a Guy" principles. So sunday night there's a group of us all chatting and Jo prompts me to go ahead and try my tricks. (Unfortunately, the guy that I decided to use as my tester was made previously aware of these tactics).

So I say "Hey cary, how's it going" meanwhile lightly touching his arm to get his attention. One second, two second, three seconds.... PERFECT!

Cary: "I'm great, how are you carla." (Ha, step one as a goober... make a big smile at Jo, because step one worked.)

I respond with something to the effect of being good.

Conversation continues, and then Cary interjects "Hey carla, did you know that 20% of people in provo smoke."

Me: "No, i didn't... wow, that's a lot!"

......

.....

about 30 seconds pass

.....

.....

before I RUIN IT BY BEING ME!!!

Me: skeptical face "really? 20%? That just sounds ridiculous."

Everyone in the group: "CARLA!!!!! you were doing so well! You're supposed to just go with it!"

DANGIT!

Well, I'm a work in progress. I've been practicing all week, I'll keep you posted on any measurable progress.

Tired of this...

The internet has been down FOREVER!!!!! UGH!!!! But, I read this on facebook and died laughing, because, well... it's my life.

You know you're a server when...

1. You know that "in the weeds" is NOT a camping term.
2. You cant decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners
3. You're pissed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check.
4. You can figure out 20% like nobodys business.
5. You heavily debate putting on a gratuity for a big party. And may call in a second opinion to evaluate the table.
6. You're familiar with the signature cocktail: water with lemon.
7. You don't have any idea what the special is and could care less.
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does. And even if they screw up you still tip at least 20%.
9. You hang out at the server table.
10. You know about all your co-workers sex lives and drug habits. And you participate in one or the other; or both!
11. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it.
12. Same goes for the death section.
13. You understand the importance of booths.
14. You know that an over cooked steak is the worst re-cook ever.
15. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30 minute ticket times.
16. You will take the long way around just to avoid your table.
17. You hate making desserts.
18. You get weeded waiting forever for the bar to pour you a freakin beer.
19. You live out of your car.
20. You always have cash on you, yet you're always broke.
21. Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked.
22. You know who sells the good drugs.
23. You never know what happened to the wine key.
24. You become a nocturnal creature.
25. Everybody on a Sunday AM shift has a hangover.
26. The busser is never around when you need him.
27. Getting cut does not equal getting out.
28. You need a manager card to wipe your ass!
29. A mess up is always appreciated by the starving servers...
30. And you're all like a bunch of vultures when it happens!
31. When in doubt-you go with medium.
32. You use the term 86 in regular conversation. Yet you have no idea where it came from.


The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting and rude to others eating, not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money. Not to mention, if you are our last table we have to wait for you to leave before we can leave.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we can't pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out.

5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Look at the first number of your bill. ie. if your bill is $30, double the 3 & you have a $6 tip. If the second number is more than 5 however, you must add a dollar. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage which is $2.13. And we are taxed on 15 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 and we tip out $4-5 to the busser, bartender, and whoever else then we pay tax on 10 dollars and we make $5. It seems small but it adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do this?

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.

7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.

8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing, please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. And ask us how we are doing as well. It's called manners. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some bread?", or "What are the soups?" Just sit tight for a damn minute & let us talk. You're not helping us out & saving us time by stopping our greet, you are pissing us off.

11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

12. THE PICKY PEOPLE:
When you're taken to a table, sit there. There's a reason you were taken to that table and it's because that server is next on the rotation. If you prefer a certain table, section, window seat etc. specify that to the host/hostess BEFORE they walk you to your table!! Don't wait till they get to the VERY back of the restaraunt then ask "can we have a booth?" "Can we sit by the window?" No! The reason you weren't sat by the window or in a booth is most likely because the server by the window or the server with the booths just got sat and you will receive better service if you stay put. If you ask BEFOREHAND the hostess has time to sit you accordingly. They have time to find you a table where you will be happy to sit AND receive good service!

13. THE WAVERS:
If you wave at me or try to talk to me while I am talking to another table or have a huge tray in my hand, I WILL ignore you. We have other people besides you to take care of and unless we are standing still or hanging out by a computer, we are doing something. It is rude to think we will stop what we are doing for one table just to come help you. Let me put this heavy ass tray down in the middle of the dining room to find out you want more sauce. Do not grab me, or wave, or shake your glass, or call me ma'am or waiter or any other pet-name you want to call me because you were on your cell, or talking, or interrupted my initial greet where I told you my damn name!

Ahhh, i Love my life. Good Times.

Who knew?

I have writer's block because i spend all my creative juices writing for other people's blogs... anyhow.

I saw this commercial again and laughed. A little guidance and inspiration for your day...

2 am and she calls me cause I'm still awake

35 Truisms that couldn't be truer

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Sunday, August 23, 2009 at 6:51pm

1. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

2. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

3. Bad decisions make good stories.

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again

8. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

9. Was learning cursive really necessary?

10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

12. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

13. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

14. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

15. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

16. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

17. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

18. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

19. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

20. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

21. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

22. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

23. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

24. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

26. I''m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

27. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

28. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

29. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

30. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

32. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

33. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

34. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

35. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

It's taking all of my energy

It's been a rough day.... so here's some of my therapy, that I figured I'd share with you. Just in case you're having a rough day as well :)

Home Remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

On a balcony in summer air

I love this video.

Now all our memories are haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye

I read a quote once that said "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

I've come to the realization that the footprints aren't related to the actual amount of time that a person spends in our life. It's a hard realization when you recognize that someone who has been a major part of your life can leave without any affect on your daily happenings, and it's an even harder realization when you recognize that someone who has spent such a minute amount of time with you, has left a gapping hole in your world.

And I just want to say holes suck.

However, that's not a happy way to end a blog post, so here's another quote for your ponderings. "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

Jo and I are having a bit of trouble with life planning.

I continue to have mini mid-life crises (sp?) whenever it dawns on me that I am doing nothing with my life, and I'm not particularly happy about it. I usually pick myself up, go back to work, and continue on with my humdrum life (imagine the accent of the girl in "Singing in the Rain"), only to have the exact same meltdown a month or two later. Cheesecake can only fix this problem so many times.

Jo is embarking on her junior year and has no clue what she would like to major in. So I try to help her pick a major because deep down I think I just want to continue getting bachelor's degrees for the rest of my life. For me, the problem is not a lack of interest in all of the majors, it's that I would pick so many of them.

At any rate, we continue to struggle and are left in the abyss of indecision. I warn you, it is lonely and depressing and fat accumulating and boring and uninspiring and mind numbing and various other unpleasant adjectives.

So, I suggested that Jo plan my life and I'll plan hers. She immediately shot me down. I don't think she likes this game. Anyhow, so I'm left with my faithful readers... all 3 of you! What next, I ask? If you were me, what would you do? (seriously though, don't tell me what we would all do if we had an alter ego that had no inhibitions and limitless funds, but what would you actually do?)

Thanks in advance for the input... all advice will be carefully weighed before making an rash decisions!

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them

It's a well known fact that a slow economy kills the restaurant industry. You can only imagine how painful it is as a server to work a slow shift... so we (my fellow co-workers and I) tend to create our own drama for entertainment's sake.

A glimpse of today's excitement: A two top (restaurant lingo for table of two) walks in and it's a gentlemen who looks to be in his early thirties and a girl who looks to be maybe 18 (on a good day). So of course everyone immediately starts gossiping about this couple and the age gap.

Being the good person that I am... (pause for laughter to subside)... I try to defend the pair by suggesting that they work together or are perhaps related; Noble efforts until they start holding hands and gazing longingly into one another's eyes (awkward).

So, now that we have established that they are definitely together (which is incredibly disturbing), all sorts of guesses as to the ages come flying. I say that he is most definitely in his 30's and she is probably still in high school and maybe he's like that creepy seminary teacher who slept with his 16 year old student, at which point should I report them?

Jared, thought that he just looked old and that she probably just looked really young and is most likely 22 or 23. BULL**** I look young, but if I was out with a 30 year old, I think most people would figure out that I'm in my mid twenties (geez, that sounds old). There's no way she's in her mid twenties.

So then we start coming up with ways to card the couple. They weren't drinking so we were left to preposterous excuses that are too ridiculous to even type.

I suggest the server card him when he pays with his credit card, or at least give me the guy's name and I'll google him. (Yes, I said it, I'd google him. Everyone told me I'm creepy. But I have no shame. I'd google him, and anyone else. In fact, I've probably googled you!)

Well, no need to card the guy, he paid with an American Express. And get this! He's been a card holder since 1997! So, knowing that you have to have pre-established credit to get an American Express card, teens in the 90's didn't have credit cards like they do now, and you pay for an American Express, we're deducing that the earliest he would have joined American Express was at the tender age of 21, meaning he is now.... ta da 33!

It feels so good to be right. Ahhh but now we have to figure out her age. I suggest the server strike up conversation along the lines of "You look so familiar, did you go to high school around here?" "What year did you graduate?"... oh you haven't yet, mmmhmmm.

Haha, well we never figured out her age, but it at least provided about 30 minutes of shameless entertaining gossip. Don't you wish you stood around all day not making money.

I had that dream again where I was lost for good in outerspace

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. This ensures that all the shampoo will have rinsed out over the 5 minutes to wash the rest of me.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? grey

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, but I'd rather kiss the second to last person. Or I can think of a couple others as well.

4. Do you plan outfits? On sundays I try on 3 or 4 and then always resort to an outfit I know I'll be comfortable in. The rest of the week I have my go-to outfits that I wear over and over.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Exhausted, a little lonely because Jo is out of town, and thanks to that stupid question, wishing it wasn't gonna be such a long time before I kissed someone again.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? eewww the stripes on my plaid couch.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Mmmm it involved eating papa john's and then saving the leftovers then waking up the next day and eating the leftovers. A rather delicious dream, that is probably my subconscious telling me it wishes I would crack down and buy some food.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? I wait tables. I meet new people every day.

9. What are you craving right now? Ice cream kind of, but not enough to get off the couch.

10. Do you floss daily? No, but I'm getting better since I bought those disposable floss pick things.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Ugh, nothing particularly appetizing.

12. Are you emotional? I was recently told that I was the most unemotional girl that the individual had ever met. It was then seconded by several others.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. That's just stupid.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Bite.

15. Do you like your hair? Most days. I'd say it's one of my better features.

16. Do you like yourself? Yes, but I'm extremely hard on myself, and I believe I have lots of areas for improvement.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? No, I'd rather spend the night with a friend.

18. What are you listening to right now? Jack's Mannequin.

19. Are your parents strict? Not especially. They had rules, but I think my over active conscious always made it so they didn't have to be too strict.

20. Would you go sky diving? HECK YES! Let's go!

21. Do you like cottage cheese? No. Eeww I just pictured fatty white cellulite thighs.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes. Several. But typically I don't care.

23. Do you rent movies often? I have netflix, so technically all the time.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? No.

25. How many countries have you visited? Not enough.

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes.... Ha ha i second Shelli on this one!!! My favorite was when Kira made a prank phone call - "This is your local bunny calling. Have you been naughty or nice?"

27. Ever been on a train? Yeah.

28. Brown or white eggs? White are cheaper.

29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yes, and it's like a third arm... it's painful going without it for several days.

30. Do you use chap stick? Only about every ten minutes.

31. Do you own a gun? No, I don't think they're necessary. Seriously... i live in Provo Utah!

32. Can you use chop sticks? I can, but no... I eat cereal more than anything else.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Not who I want to be with tonight.

34. Are you too forgiving? I'd say I'm just the right amount of forgiving.

35. Ever been in love? Yes.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Chilling with me/I don't know.

37. Ever have cream puffs? This quiz is making me hungry.

38. Last time you cried? Hmmm several months ago comes to mind... but I have that lingering feeling I'm forgetting one time.

39. What was the last question you asked? Are you asleep already?

40. Favorite time of the year? Summer is a superior season. I wish it was infinite.

41. Do you have any tattoos? No, and I never will. But if I had to get one slash lost my mind momentarily I'd get a tarheel on the inside of my right ankle.

42. Are you sarcastic? Yes.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes. Interesting idea. Waste of 2 hours.

44. Have you ever walked into a wall? Ha. Yes.

45. Favorite color? Clear. No. Blue.

46. Have you ever been slapped by someone? Yes.

47. Is your hair curly? Used to be.

48. What was the last CD you bought? Holy, I can't remember that far back. I think it was a christmas cd about 5 years ago.

49. Do looks matter? Yes, but they're not the end all be all.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Cheater's bug me. Though trivial there used to be some girls in my stake who would cheat at games and I always felt it my civic duty to expose them for what they were. I hate a cheater.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No, I pretty much stick to texting.

52. Do you like your life right now? Umm I'd be ok with a couple changes.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No.

54. Can you handle the truth? I can't take this question seriously because I just picture Jack Nicholson screaming "You can't handle the truth."

55. Do you have good vision? Yes. Hearing, no.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Hate, no. Dislike, Umm sure. I'm not perfect.

57. How often do you talk on the phone? At least once a day.

58. The last person you held hands with? Not sure.

59. What are you wearing? Booty shorts (boxer style) and a men's white button down shirt. Hmm it sounds a lot sexier than it actually is.

60. Are you going to get straight back to work now? This implies that I'm doing this survey as a break from work, which I'm not. I worked my 11 hours straight today. I'll finish this and continue to read everyone's blog.

It's 3 am I must be lonely

Since returning from Germany, I completely lack the desire to work. It's summer. The season for play! Late nights, barbeques, bonfires, summer flings, ice cream, sitting on the lawn chatting, pools, tanning, scandalous clothes, and everything else fabulous in this world. And obviously, whenever one is enjoying such fabulous things, what do you want to do? Share them! So why won't anyone come play with me?

It's 3 am, 10 am, noon, 6 pm, 9 pm, 11:30 and I'm still lonely.

Life in Plastic, it's fantastic!

*Side note: The title does tie in to my post, but also they played this song in a club in Germany... seriously, Germany, let's step up our music selection.*

So, rather than continue to repeat myself (or more likely just respond with Germany was fine), I figured I should write down some of my adventures from the past 3 weeks. Here goes (not necessarily in any particular order):

1. First of all, I got to use a company credit card, which is awesome! If there were two desserts I wanted, instead of picking one I just got both. Why not? (you're picturing a much rounder carla right now, but don't worry i only put on like 5 lbs., 10 max)

2. I always said if I ever had a job where I had a company card I would tip fat... and tip fat I did! (I always tip fat with my own money too) ((And before you go judging me for wasting company money, we rarely got to go out, so when we did, yes I was gluttonous... but I still didn't even spend a third of my allowance))

3. The trip to Germany began with a painfully long flight which was then followed with the 7 hour Tour de Germany! All in all it was a 26 hour travel day. *Note to self (or those reading this blog): when someone is arriving after a 14 hour flight, send someone to the airport who will know how to get home)

4. It's all good though, because the people that were in the lost van with me turned out to be fun people as well as people who can help me get another opening :)

5. Also, we would come across a sign that read "Ausfarht," and one of the girls would exclaim oh yay, ausfarht this is where we were before... bahahaha.... ausfarht means exit, we saw a lot of those signs.

6. All in all, the whole experience felt very much like girls camp. You work your tush off from 8 am til 11 pm and you're expected to be perky the whole time. You have pasta pals (buddy system) and you give them gifts at the end of the 3 weeks (much like secret sisters). Everyone goes out together and is constantly being counted (we even had to line up single file once... how embarassing). There are certification packets that the servers have to complete (basically like certifiying each year of camp). And everyone plays pranks throughout the entire trip.

7. So basically what I'm saying is, the trip was hard and fun, exhausting and exhilarating, frustrating and rewarding and every emotion in between. They all told me I'd cry, but don't worry, no tears were shed (it's confirmed, I am cold hearted).

Favorite Quotes of the trip

1. "Man, we're staying in a freaking nice a** prison." (The hotel wasn't officially open yet, so we were on lockdown after 11 pm. It was a really nice hotel, but with no lights after 11, no internet, and no way to get back in if you left... it really did feel like a prison)

2. "Man this song is depressing... turn it up." (Taking a taxi to a restaurant one night, one of the 40 year old guys said this about Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry')

3. Scenario: Ivan, who is puerto rican, hasn't been eating much on the trip because he is a picky eater and complains that all we eat is bread. Big Joe also is sick of bread and offers to make lunch one day.

Big Joe to Ivan: "Hey man, I'm making burritos and chili today."

Ivan to Big Joe: "I'm not mexican, b****" (as the mexican server walks by)

Ivan turns to Mexican server: "No offense."

(it just doesn't sound as funny in print, sadly there's no way to type Ivan's accent which makes everything ten times funnier than it normally would ever be)

Highlights of the Trip

-We met the band blue october

-I got to have real gelato!

-I got a teddy bear that yoddles (please come over--it'll make your day)

-Plastic (company credit card)

-The sun doesn't set til 10:30 pm, so even though you're in work all day we still got out right as the sun was setting, which was so nice!

-The bed in the hotel was absolutely amazing... I just wish I had had more time to bond with it.

-One of the Air Force head honchos gave us a military coin. Basically you keep the coin with you and if you run into anyone who should have the coin at a bar, you can lay it on the bar and if they can't produce their coin than drinks are on them, if they do show their coin you have to buy everyone at the bar drinks. I guess it's pretty prestigious to get a coin, so I was pretty stoked about it. Plus you better believe I'm gonna walk into mac grills all over the country now, slam my coin down and make them buy me a coke! (That was the running joke, since I don't drink and coke doesn't set anyone back very much)

-I have lots of new friends all over the country... you never know when that will come in handy.

So, in case you didn't have the patience to read this, which I can't really blame you, the trip was good. There were hard days and they were long days, but it was an amazing opportunity and I'm grateful I was chosen to go, and I'd go again in a heartbeat.

Time, where did you go?

I leave in 5 days!!!!!!!!

Yes! I'm so excited. It's felt like a long time coming. And it's finally here, and it's gonna be awesome! If you don't know what I'm talking about, then we're not friends. Just joking... it probably means I'm a terrible friend and didn't fill you in. I'm going to Germany in 5 days! 

So I went shopping today to get all the travel size stuff and other odds and ends I need. It was just like when you used to go shopping for camp to get all your gear. I love this kind of shopping. It's so fun to get new stuff, especially when it's for an adventure. It's almost as good as shopping for a new school year (but not quite, because that results in tons of new clothes... which i can't exactly justify for this trip). 

I did however, get a new pair of dress pants from Gap and I love them. Not to brag, but these are miracle pants that make me look HOT. I unfortunately just need a place to wear them. Cassie suggested a date, but since I scare boys, I'll have to think of something else.

Finally, despite all the pending excitement, my life has recently been reduced to work and prison break. I am new to the show Prison Break, but i'm really enjoying it. It's addicting and has taken over my life to the point where I have passed on the gym two days in a row because I only had time for the gym or prison break, so I chose prison break. Kinda pathetic, I'll admit it. But Wentworth Miller is hot, so don't judge. 

***Disclaimer: I was going to pardon all the exclamation points (all you cynics) who think you should only use them when you are seriously overjoyed... but I am seriously overjoyed, so I'm leaving them. No pardon.****

I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me

Ha, so I reread my post from saturday night, and yeah... rough night. Good thing I've developed a short term memory for bad nights at the restaurant. 

Anyhow, I thought I would quickly post something happy so all of you (yes the two people that read my blog count as "all") do not become concerned for my overall well-being. 

Dang, I just took a bathroom break and now I can't remember the funny anecdote I was going to share. Pathetic. Ooh shiny object. Seriously.

Side note though* (because I have to tie the title in somehow, right?) Sometimes I get in a group of people and I just start talking to entertain. I'll say whatever if I know it'll get a laugh, and sometimes I can be pretty ridiculous. My family (who are the ones who read this blog) can attest to this. And even though people do find me entertaining (which makes me really happy), sometimes a boy you're interested in joins the conversation.... and inevitably, I get home and think "way to go, carla.... dang, now (said boy) just thinks I'm a crazy!"

Life's funny.

Where does the good go?

Waiting tables, or any job that gets paid based on tips, is an interesting occupation in that people get to decide your pay and therefore use this opportunity as a chance to evaluate you. 

I don't know what it is about waiting tables, but people totally milk this chance to evaluate a complete stranger based on sometimes a 5 minute interaction. Certain people feel that it is their responsibility to mankind to point out to the world everything that is wrong with their server as if it is a huge injustice to the world that their server couldn't hand out straws while balancing a tray of 10 drinks and handing those out to the correct person without spilling. 

Let me illustrate this in a way that everyone who's ever had a job can understand. Typically jobs require some sort of evaluation by your superior. Fortunately this usually only takes place every 6 months to a year. Now they often start off by listing the things that you are doing well in, and then they hone in on those little things that just don't cut it for them. If you are actually a competent employee who is well liked by your superiors these are often petty things for the sake of offering room for improvement. However, despite the fact that these judgements are small, it's still somewhat cutting to hear these, and I know very few people who are not affected by these statements. 

Now imagine going through this scenario 15 times a night. Sure there are appraisals that are fabulous, and people that love you... and then there are those people that rip you apart, and are not satisfied til their malacious venomous piece is said. To everyone. 

I can't really even describe my night. I wish it could just go away. I want someone to call. I want someone to hold me. I know that I'm an adult and having someone hold me isn't going to make my problems go away. I can't just pass them off. It's not like when you are five and mom holds you and really can erase everything, but I want to be held none the less. I don't want to be asked why it was a hard day. I don't want someone to solve my problems or get me to talk it through. I just for a few moments want that comfort, to not feel so alone, to feel that when the world is trying to tear you down there's still someone on your side. 

Well, i guess it's just me and the ipod... and for days like these, I have Jack's Mannequin.

It's gonna be a hard day

(It's gonna be a hard day)

Don't panic, don't panic

We are hanging here