Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

So, it was a good Christmas. The whole family was in town. Cary drove to North Carolina with me... more pictures and details on that to come.

Anyhow, on Christmas Eve we watched old home videos of Christmas mornings when we were younger and I'll be the first to admit I had a lot of attitude and was quite the little punk (although cute--in a punky brewster kind of way), but seriously.... who wants underwear for christmas???

Here is evidence of my early development and mastery of the infamous eye-roll.





Oh, and don't worry... this year we brought back the term "radical" with every gift opened.

So this is christmas, And what have you done

I wrote my parents Christmas card this year. I figured I'd post it for your enjoyment.

Merry Christmas,

Another month, another year, another decade has come and gone and we're all left wondering where it went. It's easy to reach another Christmas and wonder where the year has gone, but fortunately for us, society demands we revisit the details of the year for the benefit of our friends and family.

Due to mom and dad's busy schedules, I graciously offered to help with the Christmas preparations by writing the annual Christmas letter. Please note that I have not been home since last Christmas, making my observations (in some people's opinion) less than accurate :). May I also add my own disclaimer: The following is purely for classification sake and is not mutually exclusive as we are all siblings and certain character traits tend to run throughout families.

So I begin the detailing of all of our lives.

THE SUCCESSFUL ONE: Heather continues to lead the way for the Morgan children illustrating the pathway we all hope to someday walk down. Since a house and furnishings were the accomplishment of previous years, she decided it was impertinent that she acquires a large flat screen TV, and TiVo to entice the visitation of her siblings. We are all going green (with envy) and continue to attempt to model her example.

THE SMART ONE: Emily has established herself in Kansas City, Missouri as an educator (English Professor to be exact). Not only is Emily fighting the noble fight of demolishing poor syntax among our Mid-Western friends, she has taken it upon herself to spread important cultural knowledge to her students (they've never heard of The Office or Peanuts (the cartoon)... I know, hold back your outrage... Emily has come to the rescue)). She has also set herself apart as the other official adult in the family, having bought herself a lovely home this year.

THE MUSICIAN: No, Art does not receive this classification because of his incredible Guitar Hero skills. Though Arthur’s sisters have classical training with piano and violins, he has branched out into the world of rock, alternative and pop music (I told you I haven’t been home in a year, sorry I can’t be more specific). He is now part of a successful band, which performs mostly around Charlotte, North Carolina. However, keep an ear out for when he comes to your very own PC via ITunes.

THE TRAVELER: I continued my quest to see the majority of the United States this year reaching almost all but Disney World (clearly, one must save Disney for a special occasion). I embark on my adventures of Europe this coming year.

THE STUDENT: Jamie keeps us constantly informed of the latest and greatest YouTube videos, and though some may judge whether she is making the most of her college education, I’ll back her up by saying she would be a failure if her college experience didn’t keep her “in the know” where YouTube is concerned. And I am informed that she does actually go to class and has even picked a major , English (maybe she can edit this for me). Now, if she could just work on getting us UNC basketball tickets...

THE YOUNGEST: You may think that this is cheating Kimberly out of a title, but really it’s because she has too many to choose from... The Artist, The one who lives with mom and dad, The Peacemaker, The Swimmer, etc. Etc. In reality, Kimberly is the one waiting to accrue all our titles and blow us all away, but in the meantime she continues to hold down the fort at home, master a ridiculous amount of instruments, maintain her athletic prowess through swimming, and prepare for and aspire to artistic perfection at NYU. Look forward to her updates in future letters.

THE PARENTS: Though they continue to marvel at the direction each child has chosen, they can’t help but boast that they have quite the array of personalities, talents, and accomplishments pervading their brood. They have definitely assured that they will be taken care of and entertained in their old age, but to avoid early onset they have begun an impressive regimen of triathlons, 5 and 10k’s. I pray, may we not drive them crazy in this New Year!

If you made it all the way to the end of this gratuitous letter, thank you for indulging me and may your holidays be warm and bright.

Love,

The Morgan’s

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day

That's a lot of opportunities for deep philosophical soul searching thinking--- or in carla's case, menial, less than gratifying, imponderables.

I have had a most enduring dry spell in the blogging world. My creativity has dried up into a deep knotted creative black hole that continues to suck out any spark of imagination.... so in the attempt to pen something, namely anything, I'll share some of the more precious thoughts in my last 86,400 seconds.

1. Disney Princesses on Ice tickets are selling for $6... seriously? who knew the princesses were so cheap. Don't sell yourselves short ladies, it's a poor economy and we could all use a little comic relief, I could definitely spare 6 bucks to support the underpaid disney mascots skating around an ice rink.


2. New Jesse McCartney song... LOVE IT. Cheesy, horrible music, but have we not already established through my blog titles that I thrive off this crap.

3. Dear Omni Management,
You sent out a note stating the hot tub would be fixed as of last saturday, November 7, 2009. Although, we have faith in your ability to come through on your promises, the hot tub is currently still only full of leaves and dirt from **ahem** 12 months accumulation. Unless we are unaware of a new fangled contraption with which to heat the body sans warm water in the midst of snowy utah winter weather, we would appreciate it actually be filled. We apologize for the not so happy note, but let us know if we can do anything to get this project under construction (namely contact BYU housing again!).
Thank you,
Omni Tenants

4. Germany plans continue. I'm still planning on going despite the fact that my heart plummets into my stomach when I think about certain people I'm leaving behind in Provo, but I'm excited for the change and the little piece of adventure I can add to my repertoire. Think of all the awesome blog posts I'll have to keep you entertained!

For once in my life, I'm scared to death

So I don't want to make too big of a deal about this next piece of information, but I felt that I could share with those people who read my blog.

I've decided to move to Germany!

I'm terrified and excited all at the same time. I'll be leaving Utah in december and then flying to Germany in January.

My dad's main concern is that I will go over there and get swept off my feet by an airman (when I state that I made it this far being single his response, boys in provo are wimps and air force officers are confident go getters). Well, no need to fear, I will only touch their arm for 2 seconds at a time ;) (see previous post).

So, just let me know if you wanna stop by for a visit....

***oh yeah, and if you could not mention this to my employers (I should probably do that myself... and I'm waiting for the right time) I'd appreciate it, thanks... that's probably just you peter :)***

I could use someone like you and all you know

***Disclaimer: Sorry if I've already told you this story in person***

Sometimes, when I'm closing Jo will stop by work and help me close because she just got off work and Macaroni Grill is on the way home. One recent evening she stopped by and started a conversation with my manager about dating. He went on to express my need to get married. So rushing to my defense, I obviously inquire as to why it is so necessary that I get married (not that I am opposed, purely I feel defensive in that I don't think I'm a failure just because I'm single and 23). He explains that marriage will help me to mellow out. Now why will marriage mellow me out, I ask, it's not as if marriage is a cure all for personality shortcomings. His response: "Carla, getting some is like smoking mary j's everyday... you'll totally mellow out."

He then decides that he is going to hire my husband in this next hiring round and that I need to work on being able to get a guy. So he gives me three pieces of advice.

1. I need to break the physical contact barrier. This can be as simple as touching a guy's arm, but for NO LESS THAN 3 SECONDS. (ok, ok, that's easy enough)

2. I need to be teachable. I need to let a guy teach me something. (I struggled with this one, as I am not a stupid girl and I refuse to pretend to be one (he originally suggested I let guys teach me about waiting tables... please, I've trained most the guys at work.... not that I think i'm perfect but this just isn't realistic) ANYHOW, the point being that I'm a know it all and guys like to feel like they know more than the girl or at least can show her something. So I'm working on it.

3. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they're lame. (My goal... to find a guy who's jokes aren't lame.)

So, I promised to incorporate these pearls of wisdom into my daily life, which leads us to a story.

Why Carla is the biggest goober on the face of the planet :)

So Jo and I decide that the turnover in the ward is a great opportunity to experiment with Jesse's "How to Get a Guy" principles. So sunday night there's a group of us all chatting and Jo prompts me to go ahead and try my tricks. (Unfortunately, the guy that I decided to use as my tester was made previously aware of these tactics).

So I say "Hey cary, how's it going" meanwhile lightly touching his arm to get his attention. One second, two second, three seconds.... PERFECT!

Cary: "I'm great, how are you carla." (Ha, step one as a goober... make a big smile at Jo, because step one worked.)

I respond with something to the effect of being good.

Conversation continues, and then Cary interjects "Hey carla, did you know that 20% of people in provo smoke."

Me: "No, i didn't... wow, that's a lot!"

......

.....

about 30 seconds pass

.....

.....

before I RUIN IT BY BEING ME!!!

Me: skeptical face "really? 20%? That just sounds ridiculous."

Everyone in the group: "CARLA!!!!! you were doing so well! You're supposed to just go with it!"

DANGIT!

Well, I'm a work in progress. I've been practicing all week, I'll keep you posted on any measurable progress.

Tired of this...

The internet has been down FOREVER!!!!! UGH!!!! But, I read this on facebook and died laughing, because, well... it's my life.

You know you're a server when...

1. You know that "in the weeds" is NOT a camping term.
2. You cant decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners
3. You're pissed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check.
4. You can figure out 20% like nobodys business.
5. You heavily debate putting on a gratuity for a big party. And may call in a second opinion to evaluate the table.
6. You're familiar with the signature cocktail: water with lemon.
7. You don't have any idea what the special is and could care less.
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does. And even if they screw up you still tip at least 20%.
9. You hang out at the server table.
10. You know about all your co-workers sex lives and drug habits. And you participate in one or the other; or both!
11. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it.
12. Same goes for the death section.
13. You understand the importance of booths.
14. You know that an over cooked steak is the worst re-cook ever.
15. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30 minute ticket times.
16. You will take the long way around just to avoid your table.
17. You hate making desserts.
18. You get weeded waiting forever for the bar to pour you a freakin beer.
19. You live out of your car.
20. You always have cash on you, yet you're always broke.
21. Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked.
22. You know who sells the good drugs.
23. You never know what happened to the wine key.
24. You become a nocturnal creature.
25. Everybody on a Sunday AM shift has a hangover.
26. The busser is never around when you need him.
27. Getting cut does not equal getting out.
28. You need a manager card to wipe your ass!
29. A mess up is always appreciated by the starving servers...
30. And you're all like a bunch of vultures when it happens!
31. When in doubt-you go with medium.
32. You use the term 86 in regular conversation. Yet you have no idea where it came from.


The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting and rude to others eating, not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money. Not to mention, if you are our last table we have to wait for you to leave before we can leave.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we can't pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out.

5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Look at the first number of your bill. ie. if your bill is $30, double the 3 & you have a $6 tip. If the second number is more than 5 however, you must add a dollar. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage which is $2.13. And we are taxed on 15 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 and we tip out $4-5 to the busser, bartender, and whoever else then we pay tax on 10 dollars and we make $5. It seems small but it adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do this?

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.

7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.

8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing, please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. And ask us how we are doing as well. It's called manners. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some bread?", or "What are the soups?" Just sit tight for a damn minute & let us talk. You're not helping us out & saving us time by stopping our greet, you are pissing us off.

11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

12. THE PICKY PEOPLE:
When you're taken to a table, sit there. There's a reason you were taken to that table and it's because that server is next on the rotation. If you prefer a certain table, section, window seat etc. specify that to the host/hostess BEFORE they walk you to your table!! Don't wait till they get to the VERY back of the restaraunt then ask "can we have a booth?" "Can we sit by the window?" No! The reason you weren't sat by the window or in a booth is most likely because the server by the window or the server with the booths just got sat and you will receive better service if you stay put. If you ask BEFOREHAND the hostess has time to sit you accordingly. They have time to find you a table where you will be happy to sit AND receive good service!

13. THE WAVERS:
If you wave at me or try to talk to me while I am talking to another table or have a huge tray in my hand, I WILL ignore you. We have other people besides you to take care of and unless we are standing still or hanging out by a computer, we are doing something. It is rude to think we will stop what we are doing for one table just to come help you. Let me put this heavy ass tray down in the middle of the dining room to find out you want more sauce. Do not grab me, or wave, or shake your glass, or call me ma'am or waiter or any other pet-name you want to call me because you were on your cell, or talking, or interrupted my initial greet where I told you my damn name!

Ahhh, i Love my life. Good Times.

Who knew?

I have writer's block because i spend all my creative juices writing for other people's blogs... anyhow.

I saw this commercial again and laughed. A little guidance and inspiration for your day...

2 am and she calls me cause I'm still awake

35 Truisms that couldn't be truer

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Sunday, August 23, 2009 at 6:51pm

1. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

2. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

3. Bad decisions make good stories.

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again

8. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

9. Was learning cursive really necessary?

10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

12. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

13. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

14. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

15. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

16. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

17. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

18. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

19. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

20. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

21. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

22. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

23. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

24. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

26. I''m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

27. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

28. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

29. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

30. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

32. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

33. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

34. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

35. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

It's taking all of my energy

It's been a rough day.... so here's some of my therapy, that I figured I'd share with you. Just in case you're having a rough day as well :)

Home Remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

On a balcony in summer air

I love this video.

Now all our memories are haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye

I read a quote once that said "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

I've come to the realization that the footprints aren't related to the actual amount of time that a person spends in our life. It's a hard realization when you recognize that someone who has been a major part of your life can leave without any affect on your daily happenings, and it's an even harder realization when you recognize that someone who has spent such a minute amount of time with you, has left a gapping hole in your world.

And I just want to say holes suck.

However, that's not a happy way to end a blog post, so here's another quote for your ponderings. "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

Jo and I are having a bit of trouble with life planning.

I continue to have mini mid-life crises (sp?) whenever it dawns on me that I am doing nothing with my life, and I'm not particularly happy about it. I usually pick myself up, go back to work, and continue on with my humdrum life (imagine the accent of the girl in "Singing in the Rain"), only to have the exact same meltdown a month or two later. Cheesecake can only fix this problem so many times.

Jo is embarking on her junior year and has no clue what she would like to major in. So I try to help her pick a major because deep down I think I just want to continue getting bachelor's degrees for the rest of my life. For me, the problem is not a lack of interest in all of the majors, it's that I would pick so many of them.

At any rate, we continue to struggle and are left in the abyss of indecision. I warn you, it is lonely and depressing and fat accumulating and boring and uninspiring and mind numbing and various other unpleasant adjectives.

So, I suggested that Jo plan my life and I'll plan hers. She immediately shot me down. I don't think she likes this game. Anyhow, so I'm left with my faithful readers... all 3 of you! What next, I ask? If you were me, what would you do? (seriously though, don't tell me what we would all do if we had an alter ego that had no inhibitions and limitless funds, but what would you actually do?)

Thanks in advance for the input... all advice will be carefully weighed before making an rash decisions!

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them

It's a well known fact that a slow economy kills the restaurant industry. You can only imagine how painful it is as a server to work a slow shift... so we (my fellow co-workers and I) tend to create our own drama for entertainment's sake.

A glimpse of today's excitement: A two top (restaurant lingo for table of two) walks in and it's a gentlemen who looks to be in his early thirties and a girl who looks to be maybe 18 (on a good day). So of course everyone immediately starts gossiping about this couple and the age gap.

Being the good person that I am... (pause for laughter to subside)... I try to defend the pair by suggesting that they work together or are perhaps related; Noble efforts until they start holding hands and gazing longingly into one another's eyes (awkward).

So, now that we have established that they are definitely together (which is incredibly disturbing), all sorts of guesses as to the ages come flying. I say that he is most definitely in his 30's and she is probably still in high school and maybe he's like that creepy seminary teacher who slept with his 16 year old student, at which point should I report them?

Jared, thought that he just looked old and that she probably just looked really young and is most likely 22 or 23. BULL**** I look young, but if I was out with a 30 year old, I think most people would figure out that I'm in my mid twenties (geez, that sounds old). There's no way she's in her mid twenties.

So then we start coming up with ways to card the couple. They weren't drinking so we were left to preposterous excuses that are too ridiculous to even type.

I suggest the server card him when he pays with his credit card, or at least give me the guy's name and I'll google him. (Yes, I said it, I'd google him. Everyone told me I'm creepy. But I have no shame. I'd google him, and anyone else. In fact, I've probably googled you!)

Well, no need to card the guy, he paid with an American Express. And get this! He's been a card holder since 1997! So, knowing that you have to have pre-established credit to get an American Express card, teens in the 90's didn't have credit cards like they do now, and you pay for an American Express, we're deducing that the earliest he would have joined American Express was at the tender age of 21, meaning he is now.... ta da 33!

It feels so good to be right. Ahhh but now we have to figure out her age. I suggest the server strike up conversation along the lines of "You look so familiar, did you go to high school around here?" "What year did you graduate?"... oh you haven't yet, mmmhmmm.

Haha, well we never figured out her age, but it at least provided about 30 minutes of shameless entertaining gossip. Don't you wish you stood around all day not making money.

I had that dream again where I was lost for good in outerspace

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. This ensures that all the shampoo will have rinsed out over the 5 minutes to wash the rest of me.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? grey

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, but I'd rather kiss the second to last person. Or I can think of a couple others as well.

4. Do you plan outfits? On sundays I try on 3 or 4 and then always resort to an outfit I know I'll be comfortable in. The rest of the week I have my go-to outfits that I wear over and over.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Exhausted, a little lonely because Jo is out of town, and thanks to that stupid question, wishing it wasn't gonna be such a long time before I kissed someone again.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? eewww the stripes on my plaid couch.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Mmmm it involved eating papa john's and then saving the leftovers then waking up the next day and eating the leftovers. A rather delicious dream, that is probably my subconscious telling me it wishes I would crack down and buy some food.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? I wait tables. I meet new people every day.

9. What are you craving right now? Ice cream kind of, but not enough to get off the couch.

10. Do you floss daily? No, but I'm getting better since I bought those disposable floss pick things.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Ugh, nothing particularly appetizing.

12. Are you emotional? I was recently told that I was the most unemotional girl that the individual had ever met. It was then seconded by several others.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. That's just stupid.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Bite.

15. Do you like your hair? Most days. I'd say it's one of my better features.

16. Do you like yourself? Yes, but I'm extremely hard on myself, and I believe I have lots of areas for improvement.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? No, I'd rather spend the night with a friend.

18. What are you listening to right now? Jack's Mannequin.

19. Are your parents strict? Not especially. They had rules, but I think my over active conscious always made it so they didn't have to be too strict.

20. Would you go sky diving? HECK YES! Let's go!

21. Do you like cottage cheese? No. Eeww I just pictured fatty white cellulite thighs.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes. Several. But typically I don't care.

23. Do you rent movies often? I have netflix, so technically all the time.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? No.

25. How many countries have you visited? Not enough.

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes.... Ha ha i second Shelli on this one!!! My favorite was when Kira made a prank phone call - "This is your local bunny calling. Have you been naughty or nice?"

27. Ever been on a train? Yeah.

28. Brown or white eggs? White are cheaper.

29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yes, and it's like a third arm... it's painful going without it for several days.

30. Do you use chap stick? Only about every ten minutes.

31. Do you own a gun? No, I don't think they're necessary. Seriously... i live in Provo Utah!

32. Can you use chop sticks? I can, but no... I eat cereal more than anything else.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Not who I want to be with tonight.

34. Are you too forgiving? I'd say I'm just the right amount of forgiving.

35. Ever been in love? Yes.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Chilling with me/I don't know.

37. Ever have cream puffs? This quiz is making me hungry.

38. Last time you cried? Hmmm several months ago comes to mind... but I have that lingering feeling I'm forgetting one time.

39. What was the last question you asked? Are you asleep already?

40. Favorite time of the year? Summer is a superior season. I wish it was infinite.

41. Do you have any tattoos? No, and I never will. But if I had to get one slash lost my mind momentarily I'd get a tarheel on the inside of my right ankle.

42. Are you sarcastic? Yes.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes. Interesting idea. Waste of 2 hours.

44. Have you ever walked into a wall? Ha. Yes.

45. Favorite color? Clear. No. Blue.

46. Have you ever been slapped by someone? Yes.

47. Is your hair curly? Used to be.

48. What was the last CD you bought? Holy, I can't remember that far back. I think it was a christmas cd about 5 years ago.

49. Do looks matter? Yes, but they're not the end all be all.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Cheater's bug me. Though trivial there used to be some girls in my stake who would cheat at games and I always felt it my civic duty to expose them for what they were. I hate a cheater.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No, I pretty much stick to texting.

52. Do you like your life right now? Umm I'd be ok with a couple changes.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No.

54. Can you handle the truth? I can't take this question seriously because I just picture Jack Nicholson screaming "You can't handle the truth."

55. Do you have good vision? Yes. Hearing, no.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Hate, no. Dislike, Umm sure. I'm not perfect.

57. How often do you talk on the phone? At least once a day.

58. The last person you held hands with? Not sure.

59. What are you wearing? Booty shorts (boxer style) and a men's white button down shirt. Hmm it sounds a lot sexier than it actually is.

60. Are you going to get straight back to work now? This implies that I'm doing this survey as a break from work, which I'm not. I worked my 11 hours straight today. I'll finish this and continue to read everyone's blog.

It's 3 am I must be lonely

Since returning from Germany, I completely lack the desire to work. It's summer. The season for play! Late nights, barbeques, bonfires, summer flings, ice cream, sitting on the lawn chatting, pools, tanning, scandalous clothes, and everything else fabulous in this world. And obviously, whenever one is enjoying such fabulous things, what do you want to do? Share them! So why won't anyone come play with me?

It's 3 am, 10 am, noon, 6 pm, 9 pm, 11:30 and I'm still lonely.

Life in Plastic, it's fantastic!

*Side note: The title does tie in to my post, but also they played this song in a club in Germany... seriously, Germany, let's step up our music selection.*

So, rather than continue to repeat myself (or more likely just respond with Germany was fine), I figured I should write down some of my adventures from the past 3 weeks. Here goes (not necessarily in any particular order):

1. First of all, I got to use a company credit card, which is awesome! If there were two desserts I wanted, instead of picking one I just got both. Why not? (you're picturing a much rounder carla right now, but don't worry i only put on like 5 lbs., 10 max)

2. I always said if I ever had a job where I had a company card I would tip fat... and tip fat I did! (I always tip fat with my own money too) ((And before you go judging me for wasting company money, we rarely got to go out, so when we did, yes I was gluttonous... but I still didn't even spend a third of my allowance))

3. The trip to Germany began with a painfully long flight which was then followed with the 7 hour Tour de Germany! All in all it was a 26 hour travel day. *Note to self (or those reading this blog): when someone is arriving after a 14 hour flight, send someone to the airport who will know how to get home)

4. It's all good though, because the people that were in the lost van with me turned out to be fun people as well as people who can help me get another opening :)

5. Also, we would come across a sign that read "Ausfarht," and one of the girls would exclaim oh yay, ausfarht this is where we were before... bahahaha.... ausfarht means exit, we saw a lot of those signs.

6. All in all, the whole experience felt very much like girls camp. You work your tush off from 8 am til 11 pm and you're expected to be perky the whole time. You have pasta pals (buddy system) and you give them gifts at the end of the 3 weeks (much like secret sisters). Everyone goes out together and is constantly being counted (we even had to line up single file once... how embarassing). There are certification packets that the servers have to complete (basically like certifiying each year of camp). And everyone plays pranks throughout the entire trip.

7. So basically what I'm saying is, the trip was hard and fun, exhausting and exhilarating, frustrating and rewarding and every emotion in between. They all told me I'd cry, but don't worry, no tears were shed (it's confirmed, I am cold hearted).

Favorite Quotes of the trip

1. "Man, we're staying in a freaking nice a** prison." (The hotel wasn't officially open yet, so we were on lockdown after 11 pm. It was a really nice hotel, but with no lights after 11, no internet, and no way to get back in if you left... it really did feel like a prison)

2. "Man this song is depressing... turn it up." (Taking a taxi to a restaurant one night, one of the 40 year old guys said this about Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry')

3. Scenario: Ivan, who is puerto rican, hasn't been eating much on the trip because he is a picky eater and complains that all we eat is bread. Big Joe also is sick of bread and offers to make lunch one day.

Big Joe to Ivan: "Hey man, I'm making burritos and chili today."

Ivan to Big Joe: "I'm not mexican, b****" (as the mexican server walks by)

Ivan turns to Mexican server: "No offense."

(it just doesn't sound as funny in print, sadly there's no way to type Ivan's accent which makes everything ten times funnier than it normally would ever be)

Highlights of the Trip

-We met the band blue october

-I got to have real gelato!

-I got a teddy bear that yoddles (please come over--it'll make your day)

-Plastic (company credit card)

-The sun doesn't set til 10:30 pm, so even though you're in work all day we still got out right as the sun was setting, which was so nice!

-The bed in the hotel was absolutely amazing... I just wish I had had more time to bond with it.

-One of the Air Force head honchos gave us a military coin. Basically you keep the coin with you and if you run into anyone who should have the coin at a bar, you can lay it on the bar and if they can't produce their coin than drinks are on them, if they do show their coin you have to buy everyone at the bar drinks. I guess it's pretty prestigious to get a coin, so I was pretty stoked about it. Plus you better believe I'm gonna walk into mac grills all over the country now, slam my coin down and make them buy me a coke! (That was the running joke, since I don't drink and coke doesn't set anyone back very much)

-I have lots of new friends all over the country... you never know when that will come in handy.

So, in case you didn't have the patience to read this, which I can't really blame you, the trip was good. There were hard days and they were long days, but it was an amazing opportunity and I'm grateful I was chosen to go, and I'd go again in a heartbeat.

Time, where did you go?

I leave in 5 days!!!!!!!!

Yes! I'm so excited. It's felt like a long time coming. And it's finally here, and it's gonna be awesome! If you don't know what I'm talking about, then we're not friends. Just joking... it probably means I'm a terrible friend and didn't fill you in. I'm going to Germany in 5 days! 

So I went shopping today to get all the travel size stuff and other odds and ends I need. It was just like when you used to go shopping for camp to get all your gear. I love this kind of shopping. It's so fun to get new stuff, especially when it's for an adventure. It's almost as good as shopping for a new school year (but not quite, because that results in tons of new clothes... which i can't exactly justify for this trip). 

I did however, get a new pair of dress pants from Gap and I love them. Not to brag, but these are miracle pants that make me look HOT. I unfortunately just need a place to wear them. Cassie suggested a date, but since I scare boys, I'll have to think of something else.

Finally, despite all the pending excitement, my life has recently been reduced to work and prison break. I am new to the show Prison Break, but i'm really enjoying it. It's addicting and has taken over my life to the point where I have passed on the gym two days in a row because I only had time for the gym or prison break, so I chose prison break. Kinda pathetic, I'll admit it. But Wentworth Miller is hot, so don't judge. 

***Disclaimer: I was going to pardon all the exclamation points (all you cynics) who think you should only use them when you are seriously overjoyed... but I am seriously overjoyed, so I'm leaving them. No pardon.****

I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me

Ha, so I reread my post from saturday night, and yeah... rough night. Good thing I've developed a short term memory for bad nights at the restaurant. 

Anyhow, I thought I would quickly post something happy so all of you (yes the two people that read my blog count as "all") do not become concerned for my overall well-being. 

Dang, I just took a bathroom break and now I can't remember the funny anecdote I was going to share. Pathetic. Ooh shiny object. Seriously.

Side note though* (because I have to tie the title in somehow, right?) Sometimes I get in a group of people and I just start talking to entertain. I'll say whatever if I know it'll get a laugh, and sometimes I can be pretty ridiculous. My family (who are the ones who read this blog) can attest to this. And even though people do find me entertaining (which makes me really happy), sometimes a boy you're interested in joins the conversation.... and inevitably, I get home and think "way to go, carla.... dang, now (said boy) just thinks I'm a crazy!"

Life's funny.

Where does the good go?

Waiting tables, or any job that gets paid based on tips, is an interesting occupation in that people get to decide your pay and therefore use this opportunity as a chance to evaluate you. 

I don't know what it is about waiting tables, but people totally milk this chance to evaluate a complete stranger based on sometimes a 5 minute interaction. Certain people feel that it is their responsibility to mankind to point out to the world everything that is wrong with their server as if it is a huge injustice to the world that their server couldn't hand out straws while balancing a tray of 10 drinks and handing those out to the correct person without spilling. 

Let me illustrate this in a way that everyone who's ever had a job can understand. Typically jobs require some sort of evaluation by your superior. Fortunately this usually only takes place every 6 months to a year. Now they often start off by listing the things that you are doing well in, and then they hone in on those little things that just don't cut it for them. If you are actually a competent employee who is well liked by your superiors these are often petty things for the sake of offering room for improvement. However, despite the fact that these judgements are small, it's still somewhat cutting to hear these, and I know very few people who are not affected by these statements. 

Now imagine going through this scenario 15 times a night. Sure there are appraisals that are fabulous, and people that love you... and then there are those people that rip you apart, and are not satisfied til their malacious venomous piece is said. To everyone. 

I can't really even describe my night. I wish it could just go away. I want someone to call. I want someone to hold me. I know that I'm an adult and having someone hold me isn't going to make my problems go away. I can't just pass them off. It's not like when you are five and mom holds you and really can erase everything, but I want to be held none the less. I don't want to be asked why it was a hard day. I don't want someone to solve my problems or get me to talk it through. I just for a few moments want that comfort, to not feel so alone, to feel that when the world is trying to tear you down there's still someone on your side. 

Well, i guess it's just me and the ipod... and for days like these, I have Jack's Mannequin.

It's gonna be a hard day

(It's gonna be a hard day)

Don't panic, don't panic

We are hanging here

Then you lay your hands freezing on me, and I mumble can you wake me later

So I have given up my much criticized somewhat crazy habit of waking up at 5 am! Though I am saddened by this new development, it has become necessary to change my pursuit for physical perfection to one of mental stability :)

The title is just in reference to how refreshing it is to wake up when I naturally wake up as opposed to when the evil (yet greatly appreciated) little ipod starts playing and the cold air beckons me from my cozy self heated slumber. 

So I'm just taking a month off of swimming (and even though you don't care, I'll explain why).

A) I'm exhausted and I'm soon headed off for a business trip to Germany where energy is of the utmost importance, hence the need to at least restore myself back to balance if not stock pile

B) Even though my schedule hasn't changed, more things happen at night in the summer and people stay up later, making it all that much harder to get up at 5 am... seen how I'm hardly one to leave a party early

So, that is all. 

Changing subjects, Pixar's Up came out this week. It's projected that it would take about 105,854 balloons, each 3 feet in diameter to actually lift a house. Since I'm about a thousand times lighter than a house, I calculate that it would take only 106 balloons to lift me. Cool. But then I wonder... If one popped and you continued popping one by one would you gradually descend back to earth, or would the lack of just one create such a weight difference that you would immediately plummet? I would like to know before I try.

You're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be

So Bro. Judd gave some dating advice from the pulpit last sunday, and it was not only wise and inspired, but entertaining enough that I feel the need to share. 

First he stands up and says that the boys need to listen up. He says "Boys, you only need 3 things in a girl. First, find a girl who is more spiritual than you. Turn to your right. Yeah, every girl you see is more spiritual than you. Second, find a girl who is more intelligent than you. Turn to your left. Yeah, she's smarter than you too. Finally, find a girl who is better looking than you are. I don't even need to address that."

Then once the laughing dies down, he says "Ladies, listen up, LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. No guy is going to be perfect. He's not going to be the man you want him to be until he's been married to you for 25 years. So just find yourself a guy who honors his priesthood and you'll do ok."

Ha ha, I love my ward. So there ya go, straight from the bishopric's mouth. I'll let you know how this new pearl of wisdom ends up fitting into my repertoire.

I've got the gift of one liners...

I work. A lot. Some might call me a workaholic. At any rate, though many say that my work stories are funny, I feel that my families eyes tend to glaze over every time I tell them, so I'll share my random ponderings of the day.

(***WARNING: Insights into Carla's psyche are about to be divulged. It might be scary, mostly interesting, just consider yourself warned.***)

While swimming this morning, I got to thinking that it would be kind of hilarious to dump a shark into a pool with unsuspecting swimmers (ha ha mostly of the senior citizen variety). I pondered my own reaction to finding a shark in the pool. I imagine I would be kind of terrified, but what if you breed sharks to be friendly like dolphins, so you could swim with them? Could you breed sharks to be friendly? Alas, I suppose it doesn't matter because the obscene amount of chlorine in the pool would surely kill any living creature (I've decided that the globules of fat buildup distributed through out my body, thanks to macrackaroni grill are the only thing saving me from imminent chlorine poisioning.).

Next thought, while shaving I got to considering the lengths which women will go to in order to remove unwanted hair. We have all sorts of products from razors to Nair to various cremes and then cold and hot waxes. Among my friends, each and every method has been tried and it pretty much boils down to different strokes for different folks. But here's my question, how come you never hear about guy's doing anything but shaving? I don't see why a guy couldn't wax his face (girls do their eyebrows) or use Nair (they have face cream)? I'm curious if it's just social norms, or if a guy has tried some other method, or if someone is willing to volunteer and then post on this blog about his experience (I might possibly love you forever, and then proceed to talk about you in every conversation for the next two weeks). 

Hmmm... anyhow, now I'm lost in more thoughts and can't remember my other ponderings. Maybe next time. 

Oh and Jamie, Jo and Tyrone think that I am funny, so I figured I'd share my quote of the week. (Context: I'm getting ready to go to the gym Wednesday night (I've already had swimteam in the morning, and rollerblading that afternoon)) 

Jo: "What are you doing? You're not going to the gym again? You've already worked out 3 hours today!!!"

Carla: "Yes, (eye roll), because some day a boy is going to come and sweep me off my feet, and I need to be light enough to be swept! (smirk)"

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

So I just embarked on my first trip out of the country (that I can fully recall) and here's the recap.

Canada is pretty much just an extension of America. Same restaurants, stores, street signs, school buses, music, etc. etc.

In order to end on a high note, the disappointments of the trip include: not getting a stamp in my passport (what's up with that Canada?), Canada hasn't reached spring yet (a season in which everywhere in the world is infinitely more beautiful), and gas is twice as expensive.

Ok, now on to the funny things from Canada!



They had these funny animal hats. I liked the monkey the best, but the pig was pretty funny too.

Loved these t-shirts. Very Clever.





And these are Tissue box holders. I laughed so hard when I saw them, so of course I had to take a picture.





This is a beer ad. We laughed so hard, we decided we had to get a picture on the way back. So we pulled over and then I ran across the interstate to the other side to get a picture of this billboard. Why is it beer ads are always the best?

They say it's your birthday... But nobody likes you when you're 23

22 was a pretty good year. Twenty two in review:

It all began with a birthday buddy celebration. A friend at work and I share the same birthday so we went to Macaroni Grill with 14 of our co-workers (we only invited the cool people :)). Normally going to work for my birthday dinner would royally suck, but it was a blast with everyone there and with all our discounts we got a $240 bill down to $70 bucks. So we tipped Peter a hundred bucks. It was awesome!

So I started the year off extravagantly, and it quickly turned into the year of travels! Cassie and I embarked on a trip to San Fran (beautiful) and ended with Reno (not beautiful... ha and that's an understatement). It was a blast. Then Heather, Emily and I went to Chicago. It was the perfect trip. Beautiful weather, awesome city, great food. If I had to pick a big city to live in, Chicago would definitely be it ... (from late june to september that is). Then Cassie and I got sick of Provo again, so we planned a trip last minute and headed down to L.A. followed by San Diego. Of course I had to hit up N.C. for Christmas, which is always more relaxing than adventurous, but N.C. still has my heart so that's ok. And to start the year 2009 off strong Heather, Emily and I went to New York and Boston. Very cool! And I recently ended the travels of my twenty second year with a trip to Canadia! It's been awesome! And summed up in one paragraph it all just seems even cooler.

There was also a decent number of firsts in the year 2009. My first broadway show (followed by several more... and I saw WICKED!!). My first NBA game (jazz, and then I saw the bobcats beat the knicks). My first international travel (that I can remember). First pair of designer jeans (it's so worth the money... i promise you don't have to wear clothes that don't fit). My first year of TiVo (we don't have it anymore, but it was glorious while we did). My first time hiking Mt. Timp (and what a hike!)

So, yeah, though the day to day seems pretty mundane and repetitive to me, when I look at the year in review... not too shabby. So bring on 23! My descent into the mid-20's is official (yeah, liz, I'm old... I know). I have high hopes for this year. It pretty much started with the news that I'm going to germany and well what better omen for a good year to come. So... bring it.

I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face

A little belated Easter Happiness for all of you. Many of you may know my extreme fondness for peeps, especially my love of microwaving peeps and my sister shared this with me, so I felt I should pass it along, Enjoy!




Also, I am basking in the Great White North this week (aka Canadia ((yes, I know how to spell Canada, but if they're Canadian's shouldn't it be Canadia)). So in honor of Canada, one more video...

Danke Schoen, darling Danke Schoen

I know that I receive validation from the funniest sources. Such as, I'm not crazy because a character on a tv show arranges their closet the same OCD way that I do. Or I'm a great cook because some guy proposed to me over a piece of pie. Or I'm an intelligent human being because I kicked your trash on the spelling section of Cranium. I don't always need this validation (I enjoy my cooking, so who cares if everyone else does), but it feels good none the less.

This validation however, I needed.

I'm going to Germany!

I am going to Germany for my job. Yes, I still wait tables for the Macaroni Grill. I am going to Germany to open a new store for Macaroni Grill. They will pay for all my travel expenses, room and board as well as regular pay. I pretty much get paid to work for three weeks in Germany, and since you can't work 24/7, I will get paid to see Germany!

It may seem weak to those of you who feel that a job should fulfill you and give you a greater sense of purpose in life, but for me where this job pays the bills in a sucky economy and allows me the schedule to go and do things I have never previously had the opportunity, it's AWESOME!!! I finally feel like all this working my butt off at a job that doesn't require my education is finally paying me back. This is an incredible opportunity and all I can say is Ich bin so aufgeregt!

Cause it's you and me.... and all of the people

So my roommates hate me. Well Jo, and me. But we have decided that they definitely direct the hatred towards me.

"What?" You say. "Nobody hates you and Jo. Everyone loves you guys!"

I know right.

So here's the breakdown of the past two days. Yesterday, Jo said I could have one of her mom's homemade rolls. Yum. So then I ask if I can borrow some lunch meat and cheese to make a sandwich to which she of course responds yes. So I go to make the sandwich and grab 2 slices of meat. Well, apparently I grabbed McKenna's meat, not Jo's. So McKenna informs me of this, to which I apologize and explain that I thought it was Jo's (not to mention there's 5 packs of meat in the fridge, so how the crap am I supposed to know who's is who's). Well she then feels the need to in detail explain how to tell which meat belongs to each roommate, all over 2 slices of meat.

Then Jo gets home and she proceeds to inform Jo, "that she's not mad, but Carla took some of her meat because she thought it was yours." Jo, of course, says "oh yeah I said she could have some, but didn't tell her which was mine. Sorry."

Seriously.

It's 2 slices of meat. Is she really that concerned about what... ten cents. Let's calculate all the things I cover, such as utilities and how every roommate borrows my cooking ingredients. And we need to split hairs because of some lousy meat that was in all actuality probably going to go bad anyhow.

Well, then I get home from swimming this morning and Jo tells me that she is going to Mexico! She's rightfully excited and I guess we were talking kind of loud, so McKenna opens her door and says "Carla, I'm still trying to sleep!"

Geez, it's 8 something at this point, we're just talking and laughing, I'm not blaring my music, and this is a FIRST! We're never loud in the morning, I never blare my music when the roommates are home, I'm never up really late, and I don't make a lot of noise in the morning. (I kind of want to write WTF, but it's so offensive when written, this is when I need a camera, so you can all picture Peter saying WTF in a tone that is reminiscient of a punk 6th grade girl).

So, basically I'm thinking I must have done something else to tick her off. Nobody is that uptight about meat, right? At any rate, Jo says I shouldn't care because they're moving out in less than a month. Well, cosmos, or divine ruler of roommate allocation, please oh pretty please (it's been 2 years of crazy's and just plain not fun roommates (minus Rachel, who unfortunately was never home)) bless Jo and myself with some chill roommates that we can actually be friends with. I beg, I plead, I'll even offer my cooking skills as bribery. The end.

Working on a suntan we don't even try to block it

For enrichment tonight we essentially did hair and make-up make overs (What Not To Wear was brought up regularly). So while I was being improved by the 'glamour technicians' in my ward, I laughed about all the layers and bronzers etc. which started a discussion about tanning.

Now, when a sister has skin cancer and I've already accumulated 4 solid years of lifeguarding skin damage, I can't justify tanning. So, I've decided to try the spray on tans. Of course everyone has an opinion about this, which lead to lots of discussion.

So I posed the question "Why can't we just dye skin? Why can't I just dye my skin to the color I want it to be and be done with it?"

Shelli responds: "Michael Jackson did that."


Game over.

And get to church cause you're a good girl

So I feel that I am aware of body language, others as well as my own, yet I have a hard time controlling my body language.

Yesterday morning, at an unholy hour, I was sitting in a meeting with the Stake Relief Society Presidency going through RS training. I can only imagine the hostility projecting from my facial expressions. As second counselor I am over Enrichment, and the presidency informed me that I need to be hosting at least one enrichment activity a month that is centered around cooking. They explained to me that the girls in our stake are lacking in homemaking skills, because we don't cook and the girls don't know how to crochet, knit and tad.


AHHHEEMMMMMMM..... EXCUSE ME!

WHAT THE FREAK IS TADDING YOU ASK?

Exactly.

Tadding for your information is basically a more intricate form of crochetting. Why do I need this skill? Hellifiknow. (It seems less like cussing when it's one slurred word). I prefer to save myself 20 hours of work and spend $2 employing children in sweat shops in China for that sort of thing.

Also, I'm rather annoyed by their assumption that the girls in the stake don't know how to cook. Just because we are not coming home and cooking 4 course meals each night does not mean we do not know how to cook. I'm sorry, I'm actually a pretty great cook (I base this off the *mulitple* marriage proposals I have received solely based on my cooking abilities). It's unrealistic to cook big dinners for one. I'm just as happy with yogurt and cereal as I am with a pot roast.

And why is this the concern of our leaders anyhow. Perhaps they should have focused on this while we were in Young Women's and we were still in a family setting, where we could practice... or with the young married couples who are struggling. I suggest we focus on actual skills that would be valid for a 20 something year old girl in the 21ST CENTURY!

I don't need to know how to pluck a chicken, how to tad, or how to hang mosquito netting in my kitchen. Perhaps I could be learning skills that will aid me in all stages of life (whether I have the opportunity to get married or not), such as stress management, money management, or heck even how to invest my money now that I am an educated woman who is supporting herself.

I also resent the assumption that the girls in the stake lack homemaking skills. I mean look at it from my point of view. I am in the Relief Society Presidency. So one of 45 girls that they actually work with, and they don't even know my name, let alone do they know that in fact I can cook, arrange flowers, sew, crochet, make bread, and all the other little "creative" skills they mentioned in this meeting. So if they didn't bother to ask me, one of the girls they work with, why should I believe that they know other girls in the stake are struggling?

All in all I don't think I am really so much annoyed at the things that were said so much as the way they said them to me. They put on this voice (you've heard it if you've listened to the majority of sisters talks in General Conference), where they speak to you like you're young and not quite capable of processing all the information. It's almost as if they raised their voice to a normal level and didn't talk slowly the spirit would leave. It's frustrating, and I find a hard time believing that's the voice they use with their family and friends.

So, if you actually made it through reading this whole post (sorry I know it's long), I need your help. I obviously need to work on my christ-like love (more than my cooking), and I need help understanding these women. Any advice, chastening, comments, or questions are greatly desired!

Betty Davis, James Dean, and Gable, never know what she means to me, I fell for the girl that's on tv

I love television.

I hate to admit it, but I mean I could spend hours watching mind numbing, soul sucking, fat cell accumulating television. I love it all, from the morning news shows to the house shows on HGTV to reality tv show marathons (project runway anyone?) to the favorites on TBS (does friends ever get old?) to TLC to Oprah and even USA and more.

In my defense, I don't. Thank goodness. But the point is that I could. Probably happily. I wish I was one of those intellectual people that couldn't be bothered with television and recognized it as the dribble that it is, which is slowly corrupting our society, and yet...

I allow myself one or two shows with which I can soak up, love, obsess, and completely devote my attention to once a week. These shows allow me to feel the drama and the gamet of emotions in one hour that the Mac Grill either doesn't provide or that I don't really want to feel in my own life, just in the watching of someone else's. In high school, my obsession was Gilmore Girls. I never missed an episode and I loved that show, well still love. They were witty, fast talking, fun and I wanted to be just like that. But, sadly most shows decline at some point. So then I loved Alias. Sydney Bristow was kick-A, and ridiculously intelligent. Ahh, if only I could speak 27 languages, run in heels, and defend myself against pretty much anything. Well of course, Alias went down the drain as well. Then in college Grey's Anatomy came out. Now here's a true guilty pleasure! It's a dirty show, but it has the drama, the hot guys, the medical background (which of course we all know I secretly wish I was a doctor, and I unrealistically wish it was as glamorous as it is on tv). Anyhow, I have followed this show since it started, and admittedly season 1 & 2 were the best, season 3 was ok, season 4 got weird, and though season 5 started off rocky... the last few weeks have reminded me why I have a show, why I plan my schedule around it, and why Grey's is that show.

If you have never watched Grey's, I have a track record of hooking every single one of my roommates on the show, so come over, kick back, and we'll have a good time.

Oh and as if that weren't enough, I also get all my favorite music off this show.



Oh ok, i couldn't leave it at just one

I miss your purple hair, I miss the way you taste

Have you ever been left with someone's scent lingering on an item of yours and then you miss them?

Scent is an interesting thing. Why is it that when you spend extended amounts of time with certain people you pick up their scent on your clothes, or even when you borrow some people's clothes it has a scent, whereas other people's do not?

Jo and I spend hours discussing random thoughts, but this one is still bugging me. When I borrow Jo's clothes I can't smell anything, and she says the same thing about me, yet when I borrow some of my other friends clothing it has a scent. Now, of course you immediately think it's because we live together. Well, we don't use the same detergent, perfumes, or lotions. Also when I have visited her parent's house I don't pick up on a scent, and I have other friends who similarly don't have a scent. Some of my friends, however, I merely have to give them a hug and I recognize their scent.

So I wonder why this is? Are some people like a blank slate? No scent? Or is it that their scent is similar to mine, so I don't notice it? Or is it really living together that masks it? Which then begs, when you get married does your spouse lose their scent as you then use all the same products? When they go out of town and then come back, do you all of a sudden recognize their scent again?

I would propose to do a scientific study where a group of individuals all used scentless cosmetics (shampoo, lotion, deodorant, soap, etc.) and the same detergents and then after a week we could smell all of them to see if they smell any different. But since I live in the city of the vain (i.e. Provo), the odds of getting a sizeable group of people to go without scented products for an extended period of time is highly unrealistic. Therefore I must rely on your feedback. Let me know what you think.


Also, do I have a scent other than my perfume? (If it's the Mac Grill essence, don't tell me)

And today was a day just like any other

Ok just the random ramblings going through my brain today....

1. I have way too many movies I want to watch and never any time to watch them. The list is around 20 right now.

2. I also have far too many books to read, and the gorgeous weather to sit outside and do it.... but alas

Number 3. At work we are having a sales contest, and the workaholic/competitive side of me seriously wants to if not win at least give everyone a run for their money, which obviously leads to way too much working.

4. Speaking of work, a girl came in today that smelled just like Kelly Estes used to in high school. I can't remember what perfume Kelly wore though.... (i remember she loved clinique happy, but it wasn't that, because i was never the biggest fan)

5. Back to the books, though I'm still working on the actual quality novels I should devote more time to, I did finish '211 Things A Clever Girl Can Do' (my new fav. book). And I feel the need to share some of my newly acquired insights.

These gems are from the article "How to Escape the Second Date"
-If you're already out on a date, blow your nose on the tablecloth
-Pinch every male bottom in sight (waiters are especially good)
-Develop a maniacal laugh and a strange twitch
-Never just stand him up. That would be unladylike.

ha, there were many others, but those were my favorites.

And lastly, yay for St. Patty's day tomorrow! I'm seriously stoked. More details to come on all my celebrating.

Baby you a star and it's time that you know it

Ok, so I gotta indulge myself for a moment... I'm sorry. (Of course this would fall under the whole journal-ing purpose of blogs, so if you don't want to read this post, well then... don't.)

So occasionally in life people give you compliments that just stay with you. It might be because you just needed to hear that particular statement at that time, but I personally believe it's because the compliment is actually sincere. I'm not trying to say that people never mean what they say when they say something nice; however, I think we generally throw around a lot of "I like your hair today," or "You're a great singer." But, occasionally someone says something to me that catches my attention and just stays with me.

Anyhow, I was chatting with one of my guy friends, who is a great guy to which all I can say is "if only," on facebook and he told me that he was looking through some of my more recent pictures. Then he says "Carla, I don't even care if this makes you uncomfortable, but you're a hottie."

Ha ha, see the point isn't about whether I believe him or not... he just actually gave me a compliment in such a way that I know he believes what he said. Well... and it made me feel pretty good about myself yesterday.



(So there ya have it... in 80 years when my grandkids are flipping through my printed off blog entries, they'll know their grandma was a hottie!)

Shawty whatcha think about that!

"NOOP DAWG!!!"

So Anoop Desai has been on my ipod for about 5 years. My best friend Marti went to Governor School with him. He sang on an acapella group at East Chapel Hill High before joining the Clefhangers and now trying out for American Idol. I have all his cd's and I love his singing. My favorite's are definitely "She will be loved" and "Let's Get It On."

So, Anoop has been picked for the wildcard on American Idol, and although I'm purely just a fan, I feel the need to show my devotion through my blog. So Anoop, thanks for 5 years of great Acapella! Here's to hoping you win!

I know you will find out who you are

I read the Alchemist yesterday. It was an interesting read.

I typically hate books that talk about personal quests or journey's and trying to find the "universal soul" or your "chi" and all that sort of thing. It reminds me of Siddartha (a book we read in 10th grade), which I hated.

Most of the books that I have read in this sort of genre chronicle the main character kind of getting lost in the expedition for the greater understanding and knowledge and they lose sight of the importance of actually living your life. I think often people get caught up in the searching and moving on that they forget to live life in the moment. We talked recently in church about being where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there and that Heavenly Father will help take care of the rest. Basically if you're doing what you're supposed to the Lord will make things possible.

Anyhow, The Alchemist actually did a really good job of addressing my hatred of this genre, because the main character pauses in the middle of the book and reflects on why he is seeking a treasure when he has already gained so much, and then the book further explains this particular character's need to keep searching. So all in all, I enjoyed the book although I still don't see why his quest really was just for riches (I mean I know he learned a lot along the way, but isn't that the point, shouldn't the story emphasize the journey and the knowledge gained rather than the gold, because honestly who cares about the gold, he already proved he can earn money.)

ANYWHO.... the book got me thinking about my journey, and that perhaps I'm missing the boat and should be seeking out something I'm not, but mostly it made me think that maybe I need to learn to be happy doing what I'm doing, and make the most of P-Town. I'm sure the next step will come in due time. As I was going through all these ponderings, the book reminded me of a song I used to love in.... oh i don't know, probably 8th grade.

"Leaving Town"

Oh your reputation is so golden
You're never lonely and you're never home
I know you've been talking about leaving
You've lost all your feelings for this town.
Paint your nails and put on your lipstick
You don't want to miss your ticket out.
Just because you graduate from school
So high in the gene pool that's your point of view.

But when you're broke and down and no one else is around
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

'Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.

Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket
You're wearing my locket around your neck
Take a drag and wait for the Greyhound
The world is your playground and you want to win.

But when you're broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

'Cause I remember how we drank time and
How you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.

Nothing in life will ever come that easy.
Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.
I know you will find out who you are
But when you're broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

'Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.
Yeah I remember how we drank time together and
How you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.
You're leaving town, yeah